New poster with a question about the manners of surgeons

TyroneShoelaces Member Posts: 3
edited 28. Nov 2023, 14:10 in Living with arthritis

Hello. I am due to have a patellofemoral replacement, having had a meeting with a surgeon yesterday. He was quite blunt about my future in exercise (I did run a great deal), which I welcomed. But at one point, while explaining that the road I went down was my own choice he said something along the lines of 'After all, this is a lifestyle choice, like plastic surgery, so it's up to you.' I was quite taken aback by that line of thinking. I pointed out that, to the extent that I was in a lot of pain almost all the time and didn't want to become addicted to painkillers, this felt less like a lifestyle choice than a procedure neccessary for my sanity. It was almost as if he was saying I was being a bit narcissistic even to think of having this done. Has anyone else come up against this attitude? Also, I'd be interested in the views of anyone who's had this procedure on the pros and cons and what life was like afterwards. Thanks


  • chrisb
    chrisb Moderator Posts: 635

    Hi @TyroneShoelaces  

    Welcome to the versus arthritis forum. 

    You are due a partial knee replacement and had a recent meeting with your surgeon which you found a little unsettling. You’d like to hear from any forum members who have experienced a similar discussion. You’d also like to hear views on the pros and cons of life post op. 

    I hope you receive some useful feedback, in the interim you may find these links useful: 


    Here are some other discussions you might find useful and maybe you could reach out to some of the members,


    I hope you find joining the forum beneficial. 

    Best Wishes

    ChrisB (Moderator)

    Need more help - call our Helpline on 0800 5200 520 Monday to Friday 9am to 6pm

  • Bettyboo22
    Bettyboo22 Member Posts: 22

    Hi @TyroneShoelaces

    Sorry you came across such a rubbish bedside manner from your surgeon! As you say this is a means to an end, to end your pain and discomfort and give you full movement back so that you can get back running.

    I know lots of people who have had total knee replacements and they have followed all the pre and post surgery exercises and physio guidance and have gone on to lead a normal life.

    There are lots of useful hints and tips on the website, take a look at this Let's Move for Surgery Toolkit | Versus Arthritis

    All the best and keep us posted

  • Trish9556
    Trish9556 Member Posts: 390

    With the exception of the surgeon I encounted for my 3 year old son and promptly requested another, I have always been lucky enough to have brilliant, kind, compassionate surgeons. However, we can put up with rude surgeons if they get the job done


  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,018

    Hopefully you've knocked his attitude on the head there with an excellent response @TyroneShoelaces (brilliant username by the way😂).

    Many people have encountered consultants with very poor bedside manners on here it comes up regularly. Not all of us can counter as well or quickly as yourself.

    That's one of the reasons I always suggest we go with someone else if we can to our appts as they are less likley to be rude with witnesses.

    As Trish said if he's good you can put up with him.

    I bet you'll find his attitude 100% better next time.🤞

    Take care

    Toni x

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,599

    I used to know someone who worked on a reception desk shared by orthopaedics and dermatology. She maintained orthopaedic surgeons were by far the rudest guys in themhospitsl. Ha ing said thar, I've always been lucky. Some of mine have been really kind.

    I'm just wondering if he fears you might be planning on getting back to running. They do get quite protective of their handiwork. Mine was definitely not as happy as I was when I told him I'd just won an RDA competition after my knee revision.

    I'd put it behind me. As @Trish13 @frogmorton so, wosely,says, in otjer words, it's his expertise you need not his silky words and bedside manner.

    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,599

    Sorry, fingers went completely haywire then😀 i meant @Trish9556 and @frogmorton just crept in by accident. Why do we no longer have the option to correcf our own posts?

    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • Trish9556
    Trish9556 Member Posts: 390
    edited 23. Jun 2023, 19:48

    Hi @stickywicket (edited for you - I think you have to return to the original post within an hour :) ) Trish x

    I haven't discovered the inability to edit posts - I'll try with this one :)

    Hope you're keeping ok? If the contrary, I hope you get better times soon :)

    Love n hugs

    Trish xx

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,599

    @Trish9556 , I returned within two minutes! So where is the 'edit' tab these days please?

    Re-reading my former post, I do see why you might think I'm unwell. What a mess of a post! No, this is my 'normal'. It's just that I normally proof read and correct my typos. This aftrnoon I was in a rush. Sorry, but thanks for your concern.

    P.S. I'd forgotten that it became a standing joke with a friend and me that, when I first got a Tablet, I emailed her saying I thought I had the 'erong gingers' for a touch keyboard. Inadvertently, I'd beautifully illustrated my point😆 Wrong fingers then: wrong fingers now. I'm much better on my desktop😊

    P.P.S Just tried and, yes, nowadays there's no 'edit' tab. One just edits. Oh ****! What a plonker!

    If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
    Steven Wright
  • Trish9556
    Trish9556 Member Posts: 390

    Hey @stickywicket

    I'm the last one in the works to comment on typos! As an retired PA my fingers now go on strike.

    No I was just asking after you as one does. (It's the three little dots top right of if a post. I struggle to find it sometimes.

    Glad you're ok

    Love n hugs

    trish xx

  • Thanks for all your comments