PsA

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gillwillow
gillwillow Member Posts: 1
in Living with arthritis

Hi, I am posting as am feeling pretty low and struggling living/coping with the daily discomforts of psa. I requested help from my rheumatology dept with my worsening discomfort and I had a face to face appointment. Following this appt I'm feeling despondent and pretty naff. I was put on methotrexate last year by an excellent rheumatologist at rd&e who I trust and he is clearly excellent in the field of psa. However all follow up appts have been with assistants who leave me feeling they're not listening, not getting the condition at all, aren't interested and just want to tell me there's nothing wrong with my knees as they can manipulate them and that's the end of discussion. I've been rushed in and out before my appt start time and just feel I have no confidence in them. I need to say at this point that I'm a big supporter of the NHS. This isn't just a rant about them. I know they're under strain and I know my condition isn't that bad compared to others. However, when I'm crying myself to sleep everynight because my knees are so uncomfortable, am exhausted with weeks of at best 3 or 4 hours sleep as constantly waking with pain throughout the night, and every footfall I walk through the day shoots pain through my knee, I just feel weak and pity for my lack of ability to cope when the professional told me there's nothing wrong with my knee. They didn't want to know when I tried to interrupt their suggestions that i already take pain killkers, already do hot/cold therapy, already do exercises. My question is am I wrong to expect more help? Do I need to grow a pair and accept this pain? There's been no meaningful discussion with regards how the methotrexate is going with me. I feel I'm putting this drug into my system every week without any confidence in the professionals and childishly feeling like I just want to run away from everything, stop the methotrexate because I don't know if its doing more harm than good long term. And what to do about the shooting pains behind my kneecap that surprisingly havnt gone away just because the professional has said there's nothing wrong with my knee. This reads as a big rant and I'm sorry because you all have your own stuggles. I'm reaching out to try to help myself from this lonely and low state I've been left in. I really would appreciate honest and frank advice.

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