THR Living Alone

ItsjustLisa

I can't tell you all how grateful I am for your many progress diaries post surgery. They've been instrumental in my decision to get myself back onto the waiting list, especially after this week being told that at 54 I now need both hips replaced!

So, I'd really like to know, as I live with my autistic daughter (so primary carer and basically live alone with no family support) what are/where the hardest parts of recovery living alone please?

I've been told it will be a while but want to make sure I'm completely prepared.

Thank you all again and have a lovely day 😊

Janlyn

@ItsjustLisa Well done for getting yourself back on the waiting list.

I live alone and found I managed quite well surprisingly after my surgery. Planning ahead helped me. I made sure all my food, food preparation stuff and clothes/toiletries that I would need were at a level I could easily reach. I bought easy to prepare food and had plenty of fruit to pick at. My son brought me home and either he or my daughter in law popped in each day for a short visit and brought me any painkillers/food I needed, which was very little as I had planned ahead already.

I would have liked someone to help me get my operated leg onto the bed at bed-time but found a way to manage. I felt cautious on the stairs but only for a few days. I struggled to wash my feet and the only way I found was to put a bowl on the floor and pour water from the kettle into it, but I had to leave the bowl on the floor until someone came to take it away. I needed someone to bring my washing downstairs for a few days but could use my washing machine, and really I could have thrown my washing down the staircase and picked it up with my grabber. Occasionally I needed help with my socks but most I could manage with my sock helper. My sock-helper and long handled shoe horn were invaluable, my grabber less so - I found I developed the 'golfer-move' to bend down.

Fortunately neighbours had said I only needed to ask and they would be there which was a comfort but actually I didn't need to. For my two week visit my son took me there and back. No one was available for my first physio visit so I got a taxi, fortunately only a short trip so not too expensive. From then on I was allowed to drive as I have an automatic and was lucky to be able to manage most things. I still leave any heavy lifting, changing lightbulbs if they're high up and things like that until my son is here but really it's been easier than I thought.

I'm aware I only had myself to look after though and you have your daughter's care too. Is there anyone you can call on if you need to? I really found it a comfort to know my neighbours were there, even though I didn't call on them.

Any questions please ask and hope you don't have to wait long.

swimmer60

@ItsjustLisa

There's advantages and disadvantages to living alone. An extra bod in the house to cut your toe nails, help you on with your socks, pick stuff etc, yes great, but living on your own forces you to cope very quickly, which is not a bad thing. Providing you aren't taking silly risks of course.

I wonder if you could get extra help for your daughter. Ask your GP, perhaps social services could help? Or perhaps you could pay someone to come in and do basic shopping, cooking cleaning?

Poppyjane

Hi @ItsjustLisa

I hope these links might be some help to you, you could also phone our Helpline for some advice

Carers UK info@carersuk.org 08088087777

Age UK contact@ageuk.org.uk 08000556112

Let us know how you get on .

Best wishes

Poppyjane (Moderator)

ItsjustLisa

Thank you @Janlyn and @swimmer60 @swilson009@swimmer60 I've read both of your recovery diaries and found lots of useful bits in those already.

@Poppyjane thank you, unfortunately those organisations can't help me as I'm 54 but very grateful.

My daughter is almost 30 and what is considered to be "high functioning" autistic, but anyone who knows autism knows that the labels aren't helpful and some days she's unable to function at all. I really don't want to put to put pressure on her to care for my every need after surgery.

Thank you again 💐

Janlyn

@ItsjustLisa please ask if there's anything we can help with, and let us know when you get a date.

I do feel I was very lucky just having myself to think about, and hope it's not too difficult for you to be caring for your daughter too.

Take care.

Zimmer

I don't know if this could help Lisa, but I found this for you xx Anna

https://www.helpinghandshomecare.co.uk/home-care-services/condition-led-care/hip-knee-replacement/

Jane18

I've been finding the progress diaries post-surgery really helpful as well @ItsjustLisa, as I also have concerns about how I would cope with recovery living on my own. I was diagnosed with moderate-severe hip arthritis last year, but agreed with my consultant that I could go on a self-referral pathway, meaning I can refer myself back to the Orthopaedic team directly without having to go through my GP, if I find my condition progresses (which it has). I found the link above to Helping Hands useful, @Zimmer, as I've been particularly worried about how I could look after my cat while recovering from surgery. I'd been investigating help at home and this agency seems more relevant than some I've looked at, as they specialise in hip replacement aftercare but also say they can help with looking after your pets, so I will check them out nearer the time and give feedback if it will be helpful.

It's really reassuring to get ideas from others about how to prepare ahead, and with all the information I received from this site, I feel I am as ready as I can be to go on the waiting list. I recognise it's going to be a hard slog initially, but thanks to this community, I can try to make sure I have everything in place to make the process easier.

Zimmer

@Jane18 I'm glad it might help and totally agree that this community has been a lifeline, as I, like you are waiting for my op and gathering as much information as possible, to ease my anxiety.