Struggling

AnnieMay
AnnieMay Member Posts: 1
in Living with arthritis

Hi

My RA, Fibromyalgia and CT are really getting me down. I'm nearly 47, but was diagnosed 9 years ago just after my youngest was born. I'm divorced with a 9 & 11 year old, no support and my PIP was reduced back in October. This has left me struggling to keep us going every week and guilty because I can't take my girls out or pay for after school activities anymore.

The past year, year and a half I've had increased joint pain and swelling, reduced mobility and physical weakness, trouble sleeping, fatigue.

I'm overwhelmed with guilt because I'm too tired to do the things I used to do with my girls and so useless because I'm no longer able to do the things I used to love doing (home DIY, playing tennis, walking) without ending up in bed the following day.

I just feel so alone and not having or being able to pay for physical support (like things I need done around or be home that we moved into last August) is really getting me down.

Sorry for the moan 😔



Comments

  • Ellen
    Ellen Moderator Posts: 1,794

    Hi @AnnieMay a warm welcome to the online Community.

    First of all I must say please don't ever apologise for 'moaning' it's so understandable you have an awful lot going on with your own health never mind a new house and two young daughters to care for. Everyone here understands the frustrations and difficulties of living with Arthritis.

    Before our members come along to add their stories I just wanted to offer my own support I was also alone with two young girls (at a similar age to yours) and now they are much older they have reassured me that they never felt let down by me.

    There is so much you are giving to them now your love and time is a huge gift. Also they are likely to grow up as empathetic and kind people thanks to their upbringing.

    My own advice would be to see whether you can get an opinion from maybe Citizen's advice with regards to your finances and also to chase up an appointment with rheumatology too.

    Would you consider ringing our helpline staff? They are incredibly knowledgeable and might have some further advice?

    https://www.versusarthritis.org/get-help/

    My best wishes

    Ellen.

  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,880

    Hi @AnnieMay

    Gosh you are having a tough time but I think if I am reading between the lines Ellen might be saying you are being too hard on yourself.

    I was also a single parent to two girls aged 5 and 8 when I had back surgery (as well as other stuff) living in rented having bought a wreck as it was all I could afford. It all felt massive really massive my eldest helping me dress for instance and a tiny budget to make the house habitable. I felt very guilty that I was letting my children down too, but you know staying with their father in an unhappy relationship was far more harmful I think.

    I also think it sounds like your PIP shouldn't have been cut and would be looking at getting some really good advice. It may even not be too late to appeal October's decision.

    By the way (and please don't be offended) a fair number of us on here take a low dose anti-depressant to just keep us lifted enough. It's well-known that living with a long term condition (you have more than one remember?) can affect our mental health.

    Take care and keep posting

    Toni x

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