I feel that I’m not telling the truth

afternoon, when I tell people I have arthritis and osteoporosis, because I’m healthy most of the time, they don’t see me when I’m unable to cope, they think I’m not telling the truth, one of my friends is very understanding as she has just been diagnosed with arthritis as well. When is it going to be helped by people just to know the pain and inability to do everyday things, like wash up or iron or even get up. Sorry to moan but this is the only place I can

Comments

  • Arthuritis
    Arthuritis Member Posts: 452

    It’s unfortunate that the various arthritis charities are not spreading the message well, and emphasising that not all disabilities are visible.

    Particularly white van and delivery/courier drivers thundering down a road while you are crossing, expecting you to leap across, who have zero consideration and makes me wonder how they retain their license. Remarkably supermarket HGV drivers are usually the most considerate despite the huge load they are hauling.

  • JoMcc
    JoMcc Member Posts: 3

    This is the reason I joined here. Even my family don't seem to understand just how bad I feel sometimes. I'm just coming out of a flare in my hands, hips and shoulders. It lasted 6 days of intense pain and no sleep. Fortunately I'm on school holidays so not at work. During a flare, I'm a recluse or I mask just how bad I'm feeling if I have to work. I fall apart when I get home. My family tell me to keep moving and everyone gets sore joints as they get older. I'm 57 and was diagnosed with RA and Osteoarthritis in 2021. I find it easier to not explain anymore, it gives me more stress when they don't understand. But when I say it feels like every bone in my body is broken, that's truly how I feel.

  • Baloo
    Baloo Member Posts: 512

    @Tanyllyn it seems important to have a way to signal that things are not well. It reminds me of the story of the mum who had terrible headaches, when one came on they would wear a plaster on their head so their children could understand mummy isn't feeling well.

    One thing I have been doing ever since arthritis struck, is walking slowly deliberately with shorter strides, to protect my ankles, knees and hips. Not everyone might understand why but there are those gems out there who will offer their seat, or pull up short in their car.

  • shirmarsh
    shirmarsh Member Posts: 4

    It sounds like you're dealing with a lot, and it's understandable to feel frustrated when people don't see the full picture of what you're going through. It's challenging when the pain and limitations of arthritis and osteoporosis aren't visible to others. I'm glad to hear that you have a friend who understands your situation because she's experiencing something similar.

    It's important to remember that you're not alone, and there are others who understand and empathize with your situation. It's okay to express how you feel, and sharing your experiences can help raise awareness about the invisible struggles many face with these conditions. If you ever need someone to listen, I'm here to help in any way I can.

  • KJWS
    KJWS Member Posts: 11

    @Tanyllyn I honestly think this is the hardest part for me too. I have always tried to ‘not give in’ to my RA but have realised in more recent years that is often driven by other people giving me no choice or making me feel lazy. Even family don’t understand & mine are all super active so I just try, but fail to keep up. I have suffered a very long & severe flare following covid and Ironically it got so much easier because I’ve had to use crutches & suddenly people treated me with sympathy, I’m making good progress now with new treatment and waiting for a knee replacement, but they are all delighted I’m going to be ‘back to normal’ after surgery and have no idea of the pressure that brings.

    My favourite pet hate is a family member who always insists on telling me that I look really well or if I reply I dont feel it says, ‘well you don’t look ill’. She might as well just say stop being lazy and feeling sorry for yourself! Eerrgh

  • Robby4070
    Robby4070 Member Posts: 9

    I know exactly how you feel. I have OA & PsA. I look perfectly healthy but some days are a real struggle