Struggling to find any happiness

Terryb852

I hate my life I have had reactive arthritis since March 2021

I have it all joints my right albow is ok

I excersize most days to keep the pain at lowest level possible

I am stable on meds I have been though the pain clinic program there is nothing else they can do

I run my own business I have reduced my hours gone down to a 4 day week

I feel like complete failure

I hate my life now I just don't want to live like this any more in January this year I tryed to kill myself it didn't work

Since then I have been in therapy every week I pay for this nhs mental health is broken

All I'm understanding is I have to keep making changes which I have which make me feel like more of a failure

I'm staying here to support my family but can not keep doing this

Everyday is torture the is no end in sight

How do people get though this I do not have much fight left in me

susy123

Hi Terry sorry you feel that way. There is nothing worst than pain. We all manage different ways to get through life. You have to be strong and think on the positive side. There is always someone worst off than yourselve even though it does not seem that way. You will get through this with your support of your family. We are all here for you. You are not alone. Keep posting on this community and it does help.I have only been here a couple of weeks and it helps me and take one day at a time. Take care

Susy123

Eeyore

Oh Terry, I do feel for you. Persistent pain is an absolute *******!!!. I have struggled (am still struggling) with it, and can only hope it WILL get better. So many people here are living reasonably normal lives, so there is hope, and I'm sure they will answer your post. I have rheumatoid arthritis and have pain in every joint except my right elbow! Wonder what's so different about right elbows? Perhaps someone scientific should explore this…….

But please, keep posting here, we all know what it's like and YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE. Life is s*** sometimes but bad stuff like arthritis is out of our control - we didn't ask for it, we don't want it but we've got it. And somehow we have to deal with it. There IS light at the end of the tunnel, but it may be a way off - but keep looking for it. You WILL get there eventually. I WILL get there eventually. We have to try to stay positive, difficult though that is. Look after yourself, and take care.

Naomi33

Morning @Terryb852

Sorry to hear you concerns and how you are struggling.

You are doing all the right things and I know their are others out there in the same or similar position.

Keep positive and if you need to talk to anyone contact our Helpline team.

https://www.versusarthritis.org/get-help/helpline/

Best wishes and keep posting.

@Naomi33

helpline_team

Hi @Terryb852, thanks for your message and sorry to hear that you are experiencing so much pain. As @Naomi33 said, if you want to talk to someone who understands, please call us on the helpline. Reactive arthritis usually lasts for 3 months to a year, although can flare up at different points. We would recommend asking your GP to refer you to rheumatology to check whether this is the correct diagnosis. Please keep reaching out to us, and if you'd like to access support locally, there is information on how to here. Hope it helps.

Get help | Helpline, online community, arthritis virtual assistant (versusarthritis.org)

Thanks, Natalie, Helpline Advisor.

androullaj

https://community.versusarthritis.org/discussion/63346/struggling-to-find-any-happiness

I hear you. You made a massive step forward getting therapy - even though you have had to pay for it yourself. I am on a similar journey to you. I deal with the total despair by trying to live as healthy a life as possible to give my body the chance it needs to adapt and survive and for my mind to stay in control. I have been spending a great of time working on how to manage things myself - I too have been let down by the NHS (I have worked in it for over 40 years and I can't describe how disappointed I am in not getting the help I need now).

I too have paid for treatment and diagnostic processes - something I can ill afford - but it makes me feel that I am somehow in control of things and that makes me feel more empowered and less vulnerable. I think everyone on this site can idiefity with you - you are not alone.

Arthuritis

@Terryb852 How was it confirmed to be REACTIVE arthritis? What did it react to? How do you know? What blood tests offered this proof? Your eosinophil count around the time of the flare should have been raised, what was it then, and what is it now?

What medications are you on?

Congratulations on running your own biz, that takes courage

Reactive arthritis is a lot better than conventional idiopathic RA, with no known cause or exit prospect.

That said, I have the conventional version with through the roof ACCP & RF. The kind my rheumy said according to rheumies and pharmas there is no hope of escape from, unlike reactive arthritis. Yup. I was in the RA dungeon of “Abandon all hope all ye who are dumped here”. The RA SuperMax Prison.

Well, in March 2023 I escaped. My rheumy, an eminent illustrious rheumy couldn’t believe it. Was absolutely fuming I’d escaped and would not be moving from MTX to biologics attracting the funding cash trough (biologics are very expensive, and risky). I was off until Jan 2025, nearly 2 years… when raw soy protein triggered a flare. While I was free and thriving I had no symptoms confirmed by blood & extensive imaging tests and scans, and no need for any drugs.

The Great Escape.

Sadly there is no funding for such escapes. It’s not discussed or and the cases are not visible, held secret under the pretence of patient confidentiality so only communicated by word of mouth.

The first thing for you I would suggest, is to understand what is triggering or keeping you there. You will get little help from a GP, they don’t know enough, and rheumies might know but won’t be telling as most receive funding from the euphemistically called DMARD manufacturers in some form, which is why there is no research on cases like mine. I know there were a couple of other escapees like me here, a young woman I recall, barely 20 and told she’d be on this for life. She escaped and told us about it. About the same time I did. I am in the process of trying to figure out my escape.

ZOE