Feeling low

Kellye89

in a flare and off work and just feeling really down about everything. Usually very good at putting my positive pants on but struggling right now. What do people do to pull themselves out of a slump?

frogmorton

Hi @Kellye89

I am so sorry to hear bout your flare. I remember you posting a while back when you were starting on MTX? Do you have two young children if I remember rightly?

To be honest me being me I tend to just keep going - I always look fine and can act fine. Someone on here used to say something like (about everything) 'it will pass' and in general it has. Some of us do take an anti depressant too which is understandable a long term painful condition like ours is bound to get us down at times.

I do have a couple of good friends I can drag out to try to pick me up, but I'm as likely really to treat myself when I feel low Things like hot chocolate, a takeaway or watching some rubbish show on TV. Distraction helps me, but most of all not beating myself up for not achieving much helps. At one time I would have done that, but now I think better of it. It is absolutely not your fault that you are struggling so much just now.

I do hope you feel much more yourself soon and that the flare settles back down.

Take care

Toni x

Ellen

Hi @Kellye89

Frogmorton is quite right living with a long term condition is known to have an effect on people's mental health.

I don't know whether this information might be of use to you?

https://www.versusarthritis.org/news/2023/january/how-to-look-after-your-mental-health-when-you-have-arthritis/

In addition you can always ring our helpline for support:

Call our Helpline on 0800 5200 520 (Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm)

Sending you my very best wishes

Ellen.

KJWS

Hi @kellye89

Sorry to hear you’re struggling. If I’m honest what I do when I get in that spiral really isn’t helpful as I tend to just feel sorry for myself and do nothing different but do it miserably!

But you reached out and that’s positive in itself! Flares are crap, horrible and indiscriminate. I have had a shocking few years post covid infection, but am seeing light following TKR 2 weeks ago, so just know however bad you feel, hang in there and don’t give up on finding treatments that give you more good and less bad days. Make lots of notes on the bad days to discuss with your rheumatologist next visit as there may well be something more to help you.
And if you need to feel sorry for yourself every now and then, that’s totally fine or watch Emily in Paris on Netflix and eat chocolate!

Good luck 🤞

Kellye89

thanks everyone,

I am definitely an introvert and fill my cup up ways you mentioned- rest, tv, hot choc, but I do often find it leaves me feeling a bit lonely. Sometimes I just need to let out some rage about how unfair it is I have to deal with this, but then I feel bad because I know other people have it a lot worse. No antidepressants agree with me sadly, at least not the 3 I've tried. I feel a little better this morning after a big cry to my husbamd and some sleep, thank you for the kind words. I really appreciate the support.x

scotbabedonna

Hi there I know the feeling well. I'm just feeling very low with mental health right now. Not coping with the pain at all. I suffer from osteoarthritis in hip and now 2 knees. Today is a very emotional day for me just want to cry. Normally I would talk to my mum about this as she suffered also from same thing. Unfortunately she is no longer here as passed 2 years ago. Luckily I have my older sister suffering also from same thing. So at least she does understand everything I'm going through. But yeah I would love to know how other people do cope and manage there day in pain.

claudsl

Hi @scotbabedonna

I'm so sorry to hear you are going through a rough time. Please remember we are all here for you if you need someone to talk to, that's what our online community is for :)

Here is a link on mental health and arthritis which might be helpful to you

https://www.versusarthritis.org/news/2023/january/how-to-look-after-your-mental-health-when-you-have-arthritis/

Take care, Claudia x

aucuparia

Thanks for posting that @kellye89 and for everyone's response

I hope that you are feeling even better now.

I was just about to post a similar question. I'm just coming through a flare which is possibly a post viral reaction and now have the left over fatigue. I think the best help I have at the moment is the support and information from this community.

I'm still coming to terms with the idea of flare ups, there seems no rhyme or reason. In the middle of them it feels like they are going to last for ever and there is no hope.

Yes sometimes it makes me angry that there is so little understanding in general of Arthritis. I was one of those people with limited awareness, even though my mother and father both suffered from it. They used to put on a brave face.

Some of the advice which makes me angry, really seems to blame the person suffering with arthritis. "you must have overdone it" "lose some weight" "be more active" " its in all the mind" - well its not in the mind, (I'm a past master at the mindful management of pain); if I could lose more weight I would have done it; I can't be more active or do the things I used to do 'cos it hurts too much today, I am tired and bits of me aren't working.

About 2 weeks ago, when I was back on my walking stick and hobbling , I had a trip to my GP. To be unfair, I expected just that advice. He said yes you have a throat infection. Here are some antibiotics. Referred me for an X ray to check the state of the possible loose bodies in my knee. We discussed the pros and cons of types pain relief. In my case, for most of them, there seem to be more cons than pros.

He did come out with the statement "It's Arthritis, classic, this is what it is like and will be like for the next 15 years" At first it made me angry but then I realised that he (unlike others) did not say "only arthritis" . He had summed up the reality.

I realised that if I live as long as my parents and grandparents it could be more like 30 or so years. I had to laugh, the alternative was to lie down on the floor and cry. I wouldn't have been able to get myself up off the floor, that day, even if I could have got down there.

So I've decided to write things down ; to record some of my thoughts here. And to pull myself up by my boot straps and start again. I am not dead yet, the reality is that, I am generally improved all over, since the first "attack" "big flare up" and diagnosis.

I know my character and I am not one to give up on life, even though every now and then, I been known to lie down, in my bed, rather than on the floor, and cry. I think I now need to start a new "career" or phase in my life. I am going to spend a week or so planning. Although I'd better not sit for too long in front of this screen in case my joints seize up again.

This is what is working for me at the moment. I wouldn't dream of telling anyone what they should do or how they should be. Everyone is different.

In short I am going to have to manage the me with arthritis, myself, but at least know I am not alone in doing that.

Thankyou to you all. Hope you are doing ok today.

Fran54

Hi @aucuparia

I can only say that after reading your post and others on here that I do know how you are feeling. At some point I have had times where I have felt very low and found that this site has been a great help to me. I keep a diary and also write down my thoughts and feelings, especially on the low days. I found this helps to relieve my feelings and sometimes makes me give myself a shake and not to give up as tomorrow is another day.

You are definitely not alone and I hope that gives you some comfort.

Take care and keep strong.🙂

susy123

Hi I generally get in bed and snuggle under my duvet. I drift away in dreamland with my tramadol medication. I am positive and think this is only temporary situation and I will soon be fighting fit. I know I'm saving money as well not spending and I'm without pain for a short while. I know I'm not alone. We are all here to support each other get through this. There is always someone worst off than me. I dont have to worry about going to work. I always believe everything happens for a reason.

susy123

Woofy

Hi.
I think we can all relate to the feeling of sheer hopelessness. Things have moved on with my medication, and I am so so grateful that my pain is better controlled. I look back to when I hardly slept, because the pain was so bad, couldn’t dress myself, and the feeling of utter despair, because I couldn’t function day to day. Now I take pleasure in the things I am able to do again, I love my garden, and to be able to potter again, even though it’s not like it was before, I still enjoy it. I haven’t had to take steroids for 20 weeks now, I’m so chuffed. I know things can change, and I might get a flare, but this seems to be the nature of Arthritis. You are stronger than you think you are. Remember to seek help from your rheumatology department if you can’t cope. That is what they are there for.

Baloo

@Kellye89

Its always useful to check we are feeling ok. I can see how talking to someone about it can help, as we sometimes sink down into the dumps, and don't realise how far down we got until much later.

I don't take painkillers at the moment, but sure am getting whacked out this week, and wondering if I should restart the painkillers. If it goes on much longer I might do that, but the pain would have to be a bit worse.