Has anyone experienced depression and /or anger after hip op

anxioussarah

I have such a caring but over protective wife who does so much for me but I find myself getting annoyed at her ! She talked about taking our dog out a walk all morning but didn't go until 1.30 ! Also after lunch my crutches were in corner of room and I couldn't reach them- this made me feel so angry ! I know she doesn't deserve me being so crabbit

MaryL44

Hi @anxioussarah

Sorry to hear how you're feeling but congratulations on having your hip replacement. The only way is up from now!

I'm not a medical person but I can empathise with your feelings. I have had both a hip and knee replacement and I've been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis so I've been in that situation of being in recovery and/or being in pain. They say you always hurt the one you love! At different times I'm resentful that my partner isn't in the pain I am in; doesn't understand; is not observant of what I need; is too patronising etc. etc. etc. I can be angry for a number of mutually exclusive reasons. I want his help but I shouldn't have to tell him what I want but actually I'm quite a control freak so I don't want his help! To be honest, I think I'm jealous of him because he's not going through what I am! Don't forget you are currently experiencing the aftermath of what is a major operation and you probably wish you could take the dog for a walk!

I would say the important thing is to communicate openly about your feelings. And try and retain your sense of humour! You are in recovery at the moment so you need to be kind to yourself.

I'm sure members of our community will have their own coping methods.

If you feel you would like to speak to someone about your feelings do contact our Helpline (details below this message)

Mary

distantshores

@anxioussarah Yes I would say that I am angry and impatient about the whole thing. It is frustrating not to be able to do the most basic things for yourself.

I am also extremely angry about the fact that there is no after care or rehab available. Apparently in Germany you are kept in hospital for about a week and then go to rehab for 3 weeks!! Here we get nothing. This has caused me a lot of stress and anxiety - i have had someone staying with me and had a visit from private physio a couple of times but I really believe that a proper rehab unit would benefit me and a lot of other people and recovery would be quicker. So angry and depressed - yes that sums it up for me!!!

Fran54

@anxioussarah

I felt more frustration to be honest. I am quite house proud and was itching to get back to doing the housework my way! Although in retrospect my other half was doing the best he could ( I don't think he realised how much he had to do for the first few weeks) Our bodies have had to cope with major surgery so our feelings are bound to be all over the place! But these feelings don't last forever and once recovery starts and you can be more independent these feelings disappear or don't feel so major. Then hopefully onwards and upwards.

Take care🙂

Nurina

I live with my husband and two teenage boys. What else can I say? I'm constantly annoyed. I'm giving orders to everyone and everyone is ignoring me. I'm doing a fast training of my independence so they can continue with their lives and so do I. I really appreciate they have asked for days off and they aren't going out with friends to be with me. I love them so much but what I really really want now is to grab a backpack with a few things and then go to the airport to catch the first flight to anywhere.

Janlyn

All perfectly natural and normal. As you get more independent I hope and expect you will feel much better and not so angry and frustrated. I certainly remember feeling down and struggling but as I live alone I didn't have anyone to fall out with but myself, so I sort of sat it out. Tiredness makes it much worse and I don't think we always realise quite how tired we actually are. Take care.

Trish9556

I didn't get depressed after my THR but I did get angry with myself because I couldn't do what I should be able to do (my opinon of what I should be able to do). I coped with my anger by giving myself a good telling to and getting on with my recovery rather than sitting round feeling sorry for myself.

Hence both my surgeon and physio were amazed at my recovery.

Don't have a go at your partner - if your crutches are in the wrong place why? Surely they would be where you last used them? If they have been moved you need to ask for them not to be moved because you need them where you left them. They're probably thinking they're being helpful by tidying them away.

Don't get angry that she's going out with the dog - dog needs walking, she needs time out as do you.

Put that anger into something positive and don't stew on it. Put it into your recovery and if you can't reach something and you're on your own, you need to work out how to reach it or leave it there.

Trish