Depression

Terryb852

does any one else struggle with depression from being in pain 24 7

I'm stable on meds pain is there all time at different levels pain is all I can think about and it's not crazy to think if died I would not put up with this any more

I have gone though nhs mental health stuff it makes me worse to be honest I have paying for private theophy seasons

in Jan 24 I drunk a whole bottle of morphine but it wasn't enough

The only thing that stops me is what it would do to family

Life is so unfair sometimes my choice is to live like this which is unbearable

Or hurt every one I love

Been told to go to my gp

But I've done that so many times no one can make it better so what's the point

I have been exercise most days to reduce pain but for the last four weeks I can't do that pain so bad it makes me want to be sick

What else can do I can not keep doing this

At what is point if this is all there is

Been four years now

Naomi33

Morning @Terryb852

Sorry to hear you are struggling.

I can see you have tried to help yourself in the past, maybe reconnect with groups.

Please keep talking I am sure others will connect with you soon.

Best wishes @Naomi33

Baloo

@Terryb852 see what others say. The depression might only be your system asking you to slow down so you can recover from a bad patch, and if thats so it will take a while to go away.

Moira

I have continual pain from arthritis and Fybomyiligia. One thing that has helped me is a diary with goal setting - let me explain.

Each day I write how I am feeling, red for rotten and blue for OK. I then set a goal or two for the next day. They are very simple, so it might be dusting the living room and doing my home physio. The following day I tick off what I have done. It sure makes you feel good if you have done 2 goals and got 2 ticks. The days I don't get the goals, I'm inclined to have a rest day. Goals should be very simple and achievable.

I also go to Tai Chi which is great and I can sit down to do it. Listening to relaxing music can also help. Or even just writing down things that are good that have happened that day - seeing the blackbird chasing away a magpie, the crocuses starting to come up etc.

You know what they say about eating an elephant …… a bit at a time.

Don't know if that will give you anything possitive but it does help me from going under with the continual pain and when the pain killers don't work well.

Good luck.

Bryony

I find that nature helps me when things feel bad. Putting a bit of food out for the birds and watching them going about their business, especially the regular birds that have got to know me. It takes me into their world. At the moment watching the snow drops coming closer into flower day by day, and the daffodil shoots just emerging. We had a very clear night the other night and the stars were amazing. Or looking closely at the markings on a moth, or the veins on flower petals. I find little distractions like that help me, that take my mind from inside myself to outside myself, even if it is just for a few moments. It helps ground me back in the world.

I do enjoy watching figure skating and I have saved on my computer links to some of my favourite video snips of skating, which also help to distract and cheer me up.

Hope you can find similar things that may help.

creAte

@Terryb852 @Moira @Bryony

Really relate to @Bryony in a big ways … the key: to remove the mind away from inside self and relocating mind to outside self. It is a really powerful tool. Living in the very present looking at and feeling the outside environment and being amazed by all that is nature no matter how small or bigger all the life forces may be, supported by Earth's giving, an incredibly and vastly generous Earth.

Another tool: diving into the pains. Meaning: being with this, exploring its textures. Like becoming a removed analytical observer of those pains (eg: how does pain work?) opposed to trapped into just suffering the pains.

Other: February is often a downer as Winter drags on... but soon to turn around and the last few miles are known to be the hardest...

A concept that came around recently: writing letters or little notes - encouragement, compliments, self appreciation etc positive messages to own self and putting those messages in various coats/garments/clothing's pockets then forgetting about it and rediscovering the messages randomly as the months go by while changing garments. Praise yourself for your tenacity managing each additional day, month and years.

A beautiful hero of your own life :) an humble fact.

…

Learning is also a very helpful tool. It makes one grow and growth is a life force.

.. a fresh little story to end this message: I too practice ' being in conversation with wild birds. .. last conversation 2 days ago, 1 wild bird came to me and cleaned its beak on my shoe!!???!?(Leather suede) !!! ... surreal... what a gift opposed to February downer…

Gentle smiles