Can’t see a future

stellaar

I’m newly diagnosed and am really struggling mentally. I am 60 previously a gym goer, work full time, independent at home and was always busy. Now I feel desperate, don’t like myself, feel paralysed with fear about all aspects of my life in the future. Very low and having panic attacks. How do I learn to cope please

annabanana

hi @stellaar , I am so sorry to hear that you are going through this; I have always found one of the worst parts of an arthritis diagnosis being the uncertainty around almost everything, you’re definitely not alone. Posting for help/advice on here is an amazing first step and I would definitely encourage you to continue reaching out to people, it may seem intimidating but an increase in anxiety after any diagnosis is completely understandable. A good support system is usually essential in dealing with anxiety, have you discussed your mental health with the people in your life? Perhaps some company and/or something to keep you busy would help as you mentioned no longer being constantly busy?

I really hope things improve for you @stellaar and please do keep us updated ☺️

I will also attach a link on looking after your mental health with arthritis, it has multiple good points and advice which I have personally found to be helpful!

https://versusarthritis.org/news/2023/january/how-to-look-after-your-mental-health-when-you-have-arthritis/

stellaar

Thanks annabanana! Much appreciated. I have one close friend and my grown up son. Both are busy and it’s hard to keep leaning on them

annabanana

@stellaar I’ve attached a link to search your postcode for versus arthritis groups/meet-ups nearby. May be a good way to meet new people in a similar situation, hopefully there is something near you but I believe that there are also online meet-ups!

https://versusarthritis.org/in-your-area/

Eeyore

Hello @stellaar, we are all here for you, lean on us.

I know exactly how you feel and I am very fortunate to have an understanding husband - but I hate to put so much burden onto him. I hate the way my life has been turned upside down, I hate not being able to do all the things I took for granted. But the article annabanana mentioned is helpful and something I keep going back to. Some days are dark but the sun always comes up each morning and some days you can almost forget arthritis has chosen you. Have faith, things WILL improve.

MaryL44

Hi @stellaar . As @Eeyore says you must lean on us. We all have varying experience of arthritis and can empathise with how you are feeling. Personally, the journey I've been on (don't you just hate that phrase?!) has been up and down and I definitely feel your pain. I think for many of us we have always been the one who is in control and then arthritis makes you feel out of control. If this rings a bell with you I can tell you what my method of dealing with it is. I try to control the things I can - like diet and exercise. I've done loads of research and tried to put good living into practice so that at least I can tell myself I have some control.

Do try and be kind to yourself. It's ok to be fed up in the here and now but try not to project it into the future.

Keep in touch with the community - there'll always be someone who can help.

Best wishes

Mary