felt so stupid upset me!!

mash65

il try to keep this on short.we had to pick m-in-law up to go shopping she was insisting not to pay 4 parking.all the roads were u could normally park free were shut. so o/h turns round to find carpark. m-in-law shouts hey look u can park here!about half a mile away from where we needed to be.o/h shouts "you do realise deb has a disability" :oops: :oops: so so embarrassed,the word,DISABILED hit me like a brick.i no its true he nos its true.but to hear it said for the 1st time since diagnosed really hit me.& to be defended by o/h 1st time really shocked me. it shut her up(1st time ever)& we parked in carpark.got home."have u applied 4 a disabled badge then" "my friends got 1 wouldnt have to walk far then"did i answer no il leave that 4 a day when iv got the energy 2 fight back. what does it take 4 peeps 2 realise whats up wit u. r they ignorant 2 eveything,going hospital,gp & physio cause i want 2.take meds that make u sick,cause i want 2.soz moaning cause it makes me angry. love o/h didnt think he would stand up 4 me like that.debs :oops:

michelle22

mash65 wrote:

il try to keep this on short.we had to pick m-in-law up to go shopping she was insisting not to pay 4 parking.all the roads were u could normally park free were shut. so o/h turns round to find carpark. m-in-law shouts hey look u can park here!about half a mile away from where we needed to be.o/h shouts "you do realise deb has a disability" :oops: :oops: so so embarrassed,the word,DISABILED hit me like a brick.i no its true he nos its true.but to hear it said for the 1st time since diagnosed really hit me.& to be defended by o/h 1st time really shocked me. it shut her up(1st time ever)& we parked in carpark.got home."have u applied 4 a disabled badge then" "my friends got 1 wouldnt have to walk far then"did i answer no il leave that 4 a day when iv got the energy 2 fight back. what does it take 4 peeps 2 realise whats up wit u. r they ignorant 2 eveything,going hospital,gp & physio cause i want 2.take meds that make u sick,cause i want 2.soz moaning cause it makes me angry. love o/h didnt think he would stand up 4 me like that.debs :oops:

Aww I know how you feel it is so upsetting when peps don't relise what we are going through and it is nice when DP stands up for you when you know you don't have the energy to do it. To be called the D word for the first time it can be a shock but I would say just remember what you can do and don't waste your time on the things you can't and if the MIL doesn't like it don't worry about it that is her problem you have enough to contend with just getting through the day

Michelle

Keep your chin up

mash65

michelle22 wrote:

mash65 wrote:

il try to keep this on short.we had to pick m-in-law up to go shopping she was insisting not to pay 4 parking.all the roads were u could normally park free were shut. so o/h turns round to find carpark. m-in-law shouts hey look u can park here!about half a mile away from where we needed to be.o/h shouts "you do realise deb has a disability" :oops: :oops: so so embarrassed,the word,DISABILED hit me like a brick.i no its true he nos its true.but to hear it said for the 1st time since diagnosed really hit me.& to be defended by o/h 1st time really shocked me. it shut her up(1st time ever)& we parked in carpark.got home."have u applied 4 a disabled badge then" "my friends got 1 wouldnt have to walk far then"did i answer no il leave that 4 a day when iv got the energy 2 fight back. what does it take 4 peeps 2 realise whats up wit u. r they ignorant 2 eveything,going hospital,gp & physio cause i want 2.take meds that make u sick,cause i want 2.soz moaning cause it makes me angry. love o/h didnt think he would stand up 4 me like that.debs :oops:

Aww I know how you feel it is so upsetting when peps don't relise what we are going through and it is nice when DP stands up for you when you know you don't have the energy to do it. To be called the D word for the first time it can be a shock but I would say just remember what you can do and don't waste your time on the things you can't and if the MIL doesn't like it don't worry about it that is her problem you have enough to contend with just getting through the day

Michelle

Keep your chin up

best of all is she gets dla,industry injury. for a thumb!!! u dont walk on a thumb im fighting dla for injuries from 1984.rta foot & back injuries. now o/a, c. spond etc. her thumb it affects her ability to clean (house is spotless) but i cant get a penny, makes me mad. do u have to keep a house clean to get dla??? but 2 save her a penny iv gotto go through pain.( dont think so )soz if im moaning & mad. :oops:

frogmorton

Hi Deb
Poor old you! A bit of a shock that must have been - as you said for two reasons. Not thinking of oneself as disabled and the second being hubby supporting you in front of the not-so-disabled mother in law!!!
You should get yourself a badge Deb if you can - they are a little easier to get hold of than DLA and would help with getting out and about.
Your post has really struck a chord for me!
Take care
Toni x

mash65

frogmorton wrote:

Hi Deb
Poor old you! A bit of a shock that must have been - as you said for two reasons. Not thinking of oneself as disabled and the second being hubby supporting you in front of the not-so-disabled mother in law!!!
You should get yourself a badge Deb if you can - they are a little easier to get hold of than DLA and would help with getting out and about.
Your post has really struck a chord for me!
Take care
Toni x

thanx, iv just down loaded a form for badge. got to get the guts to face dr to sign it now!!!it does take a lot of getting used to the D word.i do think the only way iv been able to get this far is the support from u all.& a very good pm friend.thanx appreciated x debs

lindalegs

I think the first word that hit me like a brick was when a person who's very close to me told me I had to get used to being an invalid for the rest of my life - I was 27 at the time trying to cope with RA, a baby and a toddler. It was meant in a kind manner but it hurt like hell to hear it. Now 22 years on I feel anyone can use what name they like I don't mind and believe me I've heard them all - although I do believe my eldest son is now working on some new ones :shock: I even affectionately call my surgical shoes my 'crip' shoes :shock:

I think you'll find a Blue Badge very useful and on trips to the shops, pictures, theatre etc you'll probably find people offering to take you - I like to think it's because they like my company but it's more to do with the fact that they enjoy the privelege of convenient parking spaces too :roll:

Try not to let the 'Disabled' word get you down 'cos that's all it is at the end of the day, a word.

Luv Legs

noeltone

When I first left work I got invalidity benefit then it got changed to incapacity now it is something else and I get DLA as others say its just a name and it is society that gives us that name the one that gets me is crippled which my family call me to be nasty

mash65

noeltone wrote:

When I first left work I got invalidity benefit then it got changed to incapacity now it is something else and I get DLA as others say its just a name and it is society that gives us that name the one that gets me is crippled which my family call me to be nasty

thanx, i tried naming mine (for kids benefit & to make light of it ) oldiecrokieitis. that got a laugh. seroiusly thou the kids r ok they seem to understand more than the older/ relatives. my stepson sat with his mate & read the arthr leaflets,asking questions.im working on a funny for chitchat about m/in law so watchout. it takes a long long time to get ur head round this,life long condition( & yet i beat cancer ) thanx ur replies mean the world to me. x debs