Travelling on public transport with a shopping trolley.

Wonkylegs

Well,
as the rain was thundering down this morning we drew lots to see who had to venture out to get the shopping. Of course I won (or lost? ) and got layered up with thermals, jumper, coat, gloves, hat, scarf, etc etc (I would have given 'michellin man' a run for his money today!!) before braving the outdoors along with my trusty shopping trolley (one of the four-wheeled push-in-front-of-you ones).

On a good day i try to walk into town, but today i decided to get the little bus that runs to our part of town. it is predominently used by older people, and is almost at the end of it's circuit when it gets to us, so I had my fingers crossed that I would be able to get on with the trolley - often it is full with trolleys, pushchairs and prams etc. (But rarely ever carries a wheelchair user for which it is designed) There have been problems before with greater demand for space than they provide. The bus company says that they will always ask people to vacate certain seats should a wheelchair user wish to board the bus. When this space is not required by a wheelchair user then the spaces are prioritised for older and disabled passengers. Shopping trolleys and pushchairs/prams that do not fold up are carried at the driver's discretion. Fair enough to me!

I got on, got to town, did my shopping with only the occasional problems getting into or out of a shop - and those problems usually solved by helpful passers-by willing to hold a door or give me a boost up the step.

That is until the homeward journey.

I deliberately went to the Bus station so that I was at the start of the journey - to avoid inconveniencing others, but also to make sure that I could get on with the now full and heavy trolley. The driver had no problem with me getting on, and joked that this bus could not possibly get as full with shopping trolleys as an earlier journey had been!

All was well until we were at the furthest point from town, when a couple got on - the 'lady' pushing one of those huge 'silver cross' type prams. It was almost as wide as the gangway and she had to stand with the pram completely blocking the aisle, something which she seemed perfectly happy to do. The bus driver pointed out to her that whenever someone wanted to get on or off she would have to get off the bus - she agreed. However, when the bus next stopped and she reversed off to let others on, she suddenly had a change of heart ..... or so it seemed.

'Excuse me love, I'm not being rude or anything' says she to me ...... (well I slightly disagree with that, but I'll go on!) 'but can you move 'cos there's another pram coming on here ...... and you are taking up the space we could use'. :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

I queried where she thought I should go (I can't print the answer her face suggested, but she didn't say anything like what she appeared to be thinking!) but she was obviously not going to give up. I couldn't possible stand on the bus AND control the trolley, but as far as she was concerned I looked young (I'm 41) and reasonably able (I noticed she didn't ask the very elderly lady next to me to move, or the lady across the way who I know had two knee replacements, but apparently I was fair game.)

I was a coward. I was embarrassed, and I was not that far away from where I would have got off the bus anyway, so I told her to get off and I would get off the bus. This I did, but I was absolutely gutted.

She was so rude, she was so wrong, and I (brought up not to answer back or to make a scene) allowed myself to be goaded into doing exactly what the selfish woman wanted.

I'm not proud of myself. In fact I cried all the way home - as much because I let her get away with treating me like that as for how I felt about getting off.

I feel that i didnt' stand up for all those people with 'hidden' difficulties who are surely more entitled to be in the space than a young mum with a huge pram.

Of course, I could have misjudged her and she may have had a reason for needing a seat - but she certainly didn't say so - her argument was all about the space I was taking up and how unreasonable I was not to move for her.

The driver kept well out of it - I don't blame him. But I feel so cross that I was treated that way AND that I allowed myself to be treated that way. I should have said more, but I just couldn't find the words I was feeling so hurt.
thanks for reading this - any comments or advice on what to do if this happens again (or to avoid it happening again?)

ta xxxxx

mouseymousey

Aw I'm so sorry this happend to you - there are some real unthinking so and so's out there. No real suggestions I'm affraid, other than I would copy the bus company in as this isn't right and maybe the driver could have helped in some way? Don't give up going out - and good for you with the trolley. I thought of one of those too, the one that you can lean on etc? Mxx

Wonkylegs

Just looking at the bus company website to see if what I think is the policy actually is.

Yes - the trolley is a lifeline - we actually enjoy shopping now as I am a lot less grumpy as it is so much less painful to do the shopping. I am lucky that it is mainly my upper body that is troubling me now, although my hips and knees don't like this weather!

I certainly do lean on the trolley when I need to though!

jeannie2

What a damned awful experience! I am staggered. Sometimes this 'I've got a child' attitude makes me blaze. She probably doesn't realise that it would do her good to use her legs WHILE SHE CAN! I come from the 'don't make a fuss' clan but, over the years, I have learned to stand my ground very calmly and have sometimes surprised myself. Although 'off-topic' I once sorted out a young woman who was busy shouting at me as to how important her job function was. I quietly said 'Well if you'd paid attention at school then you wouldn't have such a menial job'. It shut her up

Perhaps a good idea would be for us to be able to get a broach badge, so that people would know we have a disability and that might button their lip. I would willingly pay for one. Perhaps AC could look into it.
Jeannie

frogmorton

Oh Wonky
What an awful experience
I don't know what I would have done either
As has already been said there are some people, by no means all, who think they are the only ones who have ever had a child!!! You have to laugh at them - what are they like!!!
However we do need to find a way to stand up for ourselves don't we?
Why are we all so intolerant and so much 'for ourselves'? When I read a post like this one I feel; worried for society. People can be horrible to each other. Whatever happened to live and let live eh? and first come first served.
You did all the right things and where did it get you.
Maybe that idea about a badge or something could help?
So sorry that she made you cry - I hope you feel better today - you have all of OUR support.
Love
Toni xx

bertyboy

hi its a sad fact of life some days that unless you have individual illnesses tatoed on your forhead nobody thinks you might be sporting one of the many things that is classed as a disability , shame on the bus driver he should have done his job , so please dont give up , if it happens again just turn away saying sorry but no i wont move go and speak to the driver , in the mean time have a cupper and a hug from me xxx {may}

Wonkylegs

thanks folks,

I emailed the bus company for their advice on where I stand should this come up any time in the future. :?

I felt better having done that as it felt as if I had taken positive action.

As for a badge .......... I think today she woud not have had to look too hard to work out that I was 'wonky' :roll: as I was sporting a lovely line in NHS wrist splints and limping like a good-un! But for other times it certainly would be easier if we somehow carried a sign above our heads which pointed out our joints creak!

Having said that .... there were plenty of angelic 'halos' around in church this morning (children's nativity) ...... gives me an idea ............. Perhaps we could start a new fashion!!

livinglegend

Do you have a disabled bus pass?

These differ to the OAP passes in having a yellow stripe down the side rather than the normal blue. Then you could say that as you are severely disabled you have one of those. :P

The alternative is give up gambling and just chuck the OH out to do the shopping.

Joseph 8)

woodbon

What a horrible experience and I'm really sorry it happened
BUT on a lighter side, when I read the title of your thread, I had a visual picture of you trying to get on a bus with a wire supermarket trolley :shock: :oops: I think I'm loosing - no lost the plot, or have a wierd sense of humour! :oops: Sorry. Love Sue xxx

livinglegend

woodbon wrote:

I had a visual picture of you trying to get on a bus with a wire supermarket trolley :shock: :oops: Love Sue xxx

My first thought as well.

Joseph 8)

Wonkylegs

love the picture I now have in my head!!!!!

It might not turn heads as much as the real trolley does! - when I first got it the neighbours kept doing a double-take when they met me as from a distance they thought I was pushing a pram :shock: :shock: which was more of a shock to them than the reality!!!!!

I dont' qualify for a bus pas or for DLA or blue badge as I can walk fairly well most of the time thanks to my regular dog walks. It is very frustrating that I can get a Disabled persons railcard because I am on Long-term IB but none of the other help!

So .... I will continue to venture forth with my shopping trolley and risk the ire of young mums who don't like walking!

livinglegend

Sounds like you need to sharpen the knives on the trolley wheels to scatter the people better.

Shades of 4X4 chariot going through. :shock: :shock: []/ :P \[] :shock: :shock:

Joseph 8)

Wonkylegs