parenting baby with arthritis

codliness

Dear community

Well happily for me I got pregnant at 40 with Psoriatic Arth, and now have a bouncing babe of 4.5months, Rachel. She is a delight and If eel very lucky being able to conceive her while Ill.

The only thing is handling an increasingly heavy baby with very weak arms/shoulders/elbows/wrists. You get the picture. Some mornings I stagger around with her and she'll be twice the size soon! Any tips for coping from fellow parents?

I've applied for some physio hopefully in the new year. Going back to work has given a bit of relief in the carry dept but I have some anxiety about coping when she gets bigger, worse fear that I drop her! I'm a single parent too.

I had got someone helping with housework which was really good but not sure I can afford it longer term even though I need the help.

Anyone got any tips? Am trying to keep up with some exercise as a Ic an but my arms are so bad even swimming seems too much.

Thanks for reading

Jane

Wonkylegs

I'm not a parent, but i have read other threads on here now and again.

Just wondered if you had had an Ocupational Therapy assessment? If not I would urge you to ask your GP for an OT referral. I got to see an OT by accident, and I couldn't believe the simple little things they suggested that made all the difference to my life.

They can help you to manage things in an easier way and at the same time minimise any damage to your joints long term - which is obviously a good idea.

good luck! hhope that helps.

mrsdalloway2nd

Hi Jane my ra came on after the birth of my first daughter 13 years ago. It started in my feet and then rapidly spread lifting her was a tense experience as I had to use my wrists luckily I never dropped her and she is now a big stroppy teenager. I feel for you being on your own as having two of us was hard enough. My only suggestion is to get onto OH and explain what help you need they will then refer you to relevant department who can make an assessment. Someone will be able to come around and help out with the baby especially in the morning when I imagine you need help most. I had a friend diagnosed at the same time who had this kind of help. I have recently discovered that you have to make a fuss and kind of shout a little about the help that you need otherwise they don't listen and think you are coping! Good luck.

katekelly

Hiya,

Had my youngest at 38-she is now 6!! I was worried sick about dropping her specially on the stairs. So, I made sure I had 2 lots of changing stuff one upstairs one down so I didn't have to do unnecessary journeys up and down. I got a sling, the sort that went across the body not at the front. would lie her in it on the bed and then put her in it. To get down the stairs I would step down first 2 and then sit on my bottom and go down on my bum whilst holding her in the sling across my body. It would take longer but I felt safer that way than trying to carry her. I had a highchair that was on castors and from about 4/5 months I'd sit her in that and wheel her from room to room downstairs. Hope these ideas help.

Love Kate xx

magenta

Hi Jane,
I've got 2 kids, girl of 5 and wee boy, nearly 3. I had arthritis before I had them. I was lucky in that after my wee girl was born, I breastfed her for a year and my arthur never gave me any real probs but pain started to creep back when I got pregnant again (planned ) When my wee boy was born, things were different and I struggled. Having a 2yr old as well as a newborn with all my pains were hard. Good advice already given to you is the changing stuff. I bought a changing table from ikea that was great, meant I could stand up when changing kids ( it's 5yrs old now and I still use it!) I kept that downstairs as I used our bed to do changing upstairs. Helped my back, shoulders and knees with no bending over baby. The other thing is, your baby will get heavier but you'll find she'll start supporting herself better and she'll lift herself onto you. You'll be able to support her on your hip-there's a thing you can buy (I nearly did ) that's like a belt you put on and there's a support for your baby to sit on-sorry can't remember what it's called. Before you know it , she'll be crawling and then the walking will start

Hope this helps,
Magenta x

codliness

Thank you fellow parents and others a lot for your helpful, practical and inspiring advice.

I have now booked another OT session for the New Year, they were helpful when i was pregnant. I had no idea that you could possibly get home help paid for. When I spoke to the OT she got the problems in the morning straight away, which is always the worst time isn't it?

I have a changing mat downstairs but hadn't thought about chairs on wheels, a very nifty idea. Rach is very active and likes lots of change and stimulation which isf ine but does mean putting her on floor/table/sofa a lot. Is easier when I'm out and about.

She will be able to sit up soon which should help, and she is putting her arms up a bit. Perhaps this is the hardest time in some ways!? I tried a sling perhaps I've not got the right one, may try other(s).

Wish the NHS would give you massage that would really help.

Janexx

kezzo1

HI,
occy health gave me working wrist splints to give my wrists support when doing activity like carrying heavy loads etc these helped me, and i got a chair for the bath that baby can sit in so ur not constantly holding the baby in the bath and struggling then u can have both hands free, i still struggle with folding and putting the pram in the boot but my little ones just started walking so wont be for too long. all the best. xx :P

slummymummy

Hi, I have got RA and two young boys... 6yrs and nearly 2 yrs. There is a thread on here somewhere about 'tips for caring for toddlers' which may help when you get to that stage.

Also someone on here told me about Home Start, a charity for parents who are struggling to cope.

I have also found my Health Visitor to be very understanding. She has mentioned refering me to Social Services to get funding home help. I'm not sure if I want this yet, but may have to accept if things get worse.

Take care and love to your little one.
Slummy

colinone

slummymummy wrote:

Hi, I have got RA and two young boys... 6yrs and nearly 2 yrs. There is a thread on here somewhere about 'tips for caring for toddlers' which may help when you get to that stage.

Also someone on here told me about Home Start, a charity for parents who are struggling to cope.

I have also found my Health Visitor to be very understanding. She has mentioned refering me to Social Services to get funding home help. I'm not sure if I want this yet, but may have to accept if things get worse.

Take care and love to your little one.
Slummy

Hi Mums
I’m a guy so coping is not my middle name. I just want say well done to you all.
Colin