trapped

lesleygraham
lesleygraham Member Posts: 91
I feel totally trapped in my job. As a sufferer of severe ra for 5 years, (2 years sick) I feel unable to move on. I have been in my present job for 7 years and I desperately want to progress in my department. Last year, my superior asked me to do my cert ed to teach in the department as she would 'love me on her team' (i'm currently a mentor). A job came up, however I didn't get it, even though I was qualified and it went external. I was devestated. This was the 5th job rejection since returning sick 3 years ago.
I now feel trapped. I cannot progress in my current workplace, other employers won't employ me because of my sickness record and my health is deteriorating.
Another kick in the teeth was they offered my colleague teaching hours even though he had no experience, no qualifications but he did have good health!!!
Sorry for moaning but I feel I have so much to give but my time is running out. (I'm 39). I have a fear of being on the scrapheap, claiming benefts and bored to tears by the time I'm 45.
Any others feel like this?
Lesley

Comments

  • oneday
    oneday Member Posts: 1,434
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    yes, i feel similiar.
    my job v stressful, looking for other jobs,got one but they dont want someone with arthur,obviously illegal to say that but who wants to go somewhere like that, currently hassle where i am, am like you restricted to find otther job cos of health problems, it stinks.
  • eckstardeluxe
    eckstardeluxe Member Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi. I'm sorry to hear your story, that's awful, no wonder it's geting you down. I'm on Maternity Leave and due back next month. I went to work last week to do some paperwork & someone said when realising my newly discovered illness "I'd just give up work if I was you". I found it so upsetting, I want to work, I don't want to stay at home & get upset that I can't even lift my 9 month old baby. Also I want to remain as independent as I can, I'm dreading going back now with those types of comments. It was said by someone high up & I just can't shake the feeling they want rid of me now, incase I go off sick.
  • oneday
    oneday Member Posts: 1,434
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi. I'm sorry to hear your story, that's awful, no wonder it's geting you down. I'm on Maternity Leave and due back next month. I went to work last week to do some paperwork & someone said when realising my newly discovered illness "I'd just give up work if I was you". I found it so upsetting, I want to work, I don't want to stay at home & get upset that I can't even lift my 9 month old baby. Also I want to remain as independent as I can, I'm dreading going back now with those types of comments. It was said by someone high up & I just can't shake the feeling they want rid of me now, incase I go off sick.

    Know what you feel like but fortunately there are rules,employment laws in place so they would be in trouble if got rid of you,sexual discrimination etc.
  • colinone
    colinone Member Posts: 1,039
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Lesley I’m not going to be of much help but thought I would drop you line as your feeling so down. I’m 62 in a couple of weeks I have RA and PA had them since I was 30 years old. Gone through every treatment under the sun.
    And suffered in similar ways with employment and being passed over many times. Yes there is a discrimination act but if you have a sickness record and illness to boot that is long term the employer will find a way of meeting his obligations and passing you over. I once worked in a very demanding job that was very stressful and one of my staff continually left the work situation because he could not cope with the stress. He got promoted I was passed over. But hey Lesley that’s life. You can contact the team here for advice I’m told they are really great and caring. The thing is working in this situation can make you bitter towards you employer and indeed some colleagues if not most of them LOL. At 39 you are far from the scrap heap ok you may get worse but you will learn to cope, you may not get worse and have a long working life its in the lap of the gods my friend and your rheumy. I had to retire 2 years ago I could no longer cope with work and the illness then last year my wife had to retire to look after me. God I was so depressed and fed up, worrying how we would survive I worried about all sorts of things, but the biggest problem was self worth. I’m in a better frame of mind these days though at times it is hard to be positive. My days are filled with things to do and although sometime an effort I do them. My finances worked out Ok and we manage, I still think about the future at times and worry about the stress I put on my wife, but I thought about the future when I was 30 and just told about the RA and Pa. There is nothing you can do but come to terms with the illness and try not to let it get you down, you must live for today and try not to get to stressed because that will not help your illness or your job. With the help of your partner and family you will cope with anything, I know life at times can deal a bitter blow but you will get through the difficult time and hey your RA may never get worse than it is today. Take care and keep your chin up Lesley.

    Colin
  • colinone
    colinone Member Posts: 1,039
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Lesley
    I spent some time thinking about your situation today, I bet this whole thing has you feeling quite angry at times. You never said who you worked for. However if you have an Equality and Diversity officer you should go along and chat with them. Also it would do you no harm to have a chat with CAB even if they can't help you they should be able to point you in the right direction.
    Take Care
    Colin
  • lesleygraham
    lesleygraham Member Posts: 91
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Colin
    Thanks for the thoughtful reply. How lovely to think that someone I have never met was thinking of me. Sorry for the delay in repling I have been poorly with arthur. I am still off sick from work and I am in no hurry to go back!! In your post you asked who I worked for... wait for it.... the disability strategy unit in my local college. We support diabled students in education.. its a pity they can't do that for their employees. They do all the 'right things' but unfortunately, as suggested earlier, I feel trapped in my job and see no prospects for promotion. But hey you're right, I'm just about 40 and started new meds (rituximab) so hopefully I've got a good few years in me yet.
    You never know what the future holds
    Thanks for listening
    Les

Who's Online

6
6 Guests