Advice anyone?

shelleymogui

Hi there, I'm new on this forum and to be completely honest it isnt really for me, it's for my dad.

He is suffering with arthritis in his legs/ankles (has been for some time now) and now it is in his wrists and knees. To the point where I found out yesterday that he couldn't move his knee at all.

I am worried for him as he is out abroad. He is waiting to sell a cafe, that he runs and works at (on his own) over there. I am going out to see him soon as I can't bear to think of him working alone out there, and my sister and I are getting updates everyday.

The problem is he is a stubborn man. Very stubborn and as we are his daughters he only sometimes tells us the truth about how he is feeling.

Do you think that the hot weather out there is actually better for him than the snowy cold weather here? I've read on here that exercise is good and try and do gentle stuff to keep mobile, so in some ways the cafe is good, but then there are the big steps and moving of tables which i'm sure is not.

I've worried and comforted myself with this site already, half seeing the support and advice and then seeing the people who are scared and frightened, and i'm hoping my dad doesn't feel like that.

Sorry to moan on here and as im a newbie but I am so worried beyond my control, and I think it's because I don't know enough about it.

Thanks, Shelley x

elnafinn

Hi Shelley

I am sorry to hear about your dad. My mum lives quite away from me but at least it is the same country and I do worry about her very much too.

I would have thought the warmer climate is kinder to arthritis sufferers. Exercise is good too, to keep the body ticking over, so to speak. I agree steps and moving tables is perhaps not so good an idea. Could he not have some help in the cafe even if it is part time?

I also well understand the stubborness of parents! I suppose we were too, when we were younger!!

Do you know if he is on any medication for his arthritis, like painkillers and anti inflammatory pills. These can help. Is it osteo arthritis or rheumatoid arthritis as these are treated differently. The use of heat or ice packs can be beneficial too.

I am sorry I cannot be of help but I really can sympathise and do know how worrying it is when parents become unwell and either as you say, do not tell us all, or will not seek help.

Look after yourself,

Elna

shelleymogui

Thanks for replying Elna.

I agree it is awful to worry about parents, I think it's because he feels so far away but he claims the sun and warmth helps the joints, even thought i'm pretty sure it's not very warm in Spain at the moment. Think he's just trying to put my mind at rest again. I don' think he knows I can find out what the weather is like via the internet

The problem with the cafe is that he is selling it and wants to make as much money while it is running through it's last 3ish months. Therefore taking on another member of staff would cost him. As they dont have any health system like NHS too, he has to pay something like 50 euros when he needs it. so saving money for medical advice and tablets are his main concern. Not that he ever takes the advice.

My partner and I are going over to help him out for over a week at the end of March so hopefully that will be a good way through the 3 months, maybe even starting to sort out for selling it in March, so can help him with that.

I think his is Rheumatoid from the research I did on here. He hasn't even told me which it is! But im sure its RA.

My sis is sending a package over to him today with heat packs, some tablets and i've seen today that Vitamin B is supposed to help? As for medication from the doc's, i dont know the name but he is constantly on water tablets and is currently trying out loads of tablets, from ones you take everyday to a kind where you take 5 at the beginning of the week and its supposed to last a week! needless to say, they didnt help. Sometimes I think the Spanish doctors don't quite understand.

Also, (totally off topic) my father has what he calls his 'weird elbow', its kinda got a small growth or tissue build up which is now tender and he keeps knocking it. Could this be anything to do with arthritis or is it not connected at all? Just wondering .

Thanks again, Shelley

lindalegs

Hi Shelley,

Sorry to hear about your Dad although if he's able to run his cafe it sounds to me as though he's coping with the pain, at the moment, so try not to worry too much. When/if the disease gets the better of him and he has to shut-up shop that's when he'll need all hands on deck.

The growth on his elbow could be a nodule, which is associated with RA, especially if it's tender to the touch, but he ought to get it checked out by a doctor just to be sure.

Hope this helps put your mind at rest a little.

Luv Legs

elnafinn

Hi Shelley

They are funny aren't they, not thinking that we can find out so much on the internet these days!

Quote Also, (totally off topic) my father has what he calls his 'weird elbow', its kinda got a small growth or tissue build up which is now tender and he keeps knocking it. Could this be anything to do with arthritis or is it not connected at all? Just wondering . Quote

This is probably a nodule which is quite common in RA I believe. One can have a steroid injection into the nodule which may reduce the size. They can also be removed but that is no guarantee that they will not return.

It will be of great help when you are able to go over there. I find it more worrying when unable to be "on the scene" so to speak.

I appreciate that in Spain he will have to pay for medical attention which makes it all more of a worry.

Take care,

Elna x

woodbon

Hello, Sorry you're so worried. Its harder when you're away from someone and can't see them, to discover a bit more about how they're coping, and lend a hand if needed. Putting on a brave face may be how your father is managing to keep going. I expect it helps him to talk to you, and i'm sure he's looking forward to seeing you in March . He may also be worrying about the cafe sale, which wont help his RA or his mood :!: Men, like my husband, like you to know they feel ill, but get cross if you make a fuss or suggest things - it drives me MAD! Anyway, I hope you find this site of some help to you. Love SUe xxx

eckstardeluxe

Hi

Sorry to hear about your Dad, no wonder your concerned. I find my symptoms were lessened in the summer than the winter, my pain wasn't so bad. Your poor Dad, he's just independent and suddenly finds now he's dependent on other people. I'm the same, I've always been the tough one and my hubby relied on me for everything. Now the roles are totally reversed and it's hard to take. Just try your best to make sure he gets seen by Drs and gets the help he needs. My family were at me for ages and I would take very badly to it but at some point I had to realise they were right, trying to be tough and arthritis don't go well together. Best wishes.

shelleymogui

Thank you all for your lovely replies. They are very helpful and I will be sure to ask him a few questions tonight. It's helpful to know how you have been feeling as then I can try and spot the signs if he is feeling that way.

He is very dependent and it kills me because he was the one who always said 'im going to work so hard so that i can retire at 50', he nearly did it too. one bad business mistake and there he is still working, with arthritis and on his own.

thanks again for all your kind words and suggestions, im sure i can sneak in a few questions tonight to not dent his ego but to find out how he is.

Shelley xx