my stupid hands, i've had enough now.

suzster

i've had enough of my hands. i'm going to have a moan, i've just hurt my fingers again, i may give up now.
i just grabbed the fridge door to open it, my grip went and i knocked my fingers. so now yet another finger has 'gone funny' my little finger won't bend so now my thumb and little finger on my left hand are not working, my ring finger and little finger on my right hand can bend a tiny bit but not enough to work properly and the little finger on my right hand is the one with a nodule so it keeps popping out of joint. i'm feeling really down now. how am i supposed to do day to day things with most of my fingers not working? it just seems like the slightest knock wrecks them. i'll be stuck if any more go before i see the hand surgeon, i'm not sure if this is the RA causing trouble, as nobody else seems to have this problem do they?
my hands just seem to be falling apart.
oh well, moan over!
sorry all for whinging!
sue x

vonski

Hi Sue

I'm not surprised you're having a moan it sounds horrible and painful. Have you been to the Dr. to see what they have to say about it? It might be worth a try just to see if they can offer any advice. Have you tried rubbing ibuleve or something like that on to see if it helps.

Hope you get something sorted out soon.

Love
Vonski x

suzster

i saw rheumy on wednesday and so she said i need to see a hand surgeon as she is concerned i might of ruptured a tendon. i'm just always careful with my hands as they are weak due to RA but it's ridiculous that the slightest knock causes massive repurcusions.
i have a 2 yr old and changing nappies is hard enough but now just holding the handle to push her pushchair is agony, even though i have the perfect pushchair, the gripping part is impossible,i end up with all my unbendable finger sticking out!! i look posh because it's my pinkies the stick out lol. also the finger with the nodule still keeps fislocating, i really am fed up now.
my gp seems to think that only my rheumy can deal with these things, although now she's trying to wean me of my morphine, the way my hands are going i'll be back up to the higher dose soon!.
i'm going to sleep with my hand splint on tonight, maybe if my fingers are in a more relaxed position they might feel better in the morning, i just hope i don't wallop my poor hubby over the head in my sleep!!!

jaspercat

Hi Suzster, I can't offer you any advice because I haven't got the same problems with my hands, I just wanted to say that I hope your appt dosen't take too long, and that I hope you feel better soon love Jaspercatxx

colinone

Hi Sue
Just so your not alone i suffer quite bad with my hands to, i hate my legs not working as they should and all the other bits but my hands drive me crazy. I have PA and RA and wish i could send you a pic of my hands and fingers. I can-not close my hands so have no grip althogh i can grip a bit between my thum and first finger joint. My right hand the fingers all poit to the right and all of them are out of shape. the thumb on this hand has curled up backwards and is shaped like a letter U but no pain from that thumb.
My left hand the thumb is pointing almost at my wrist and beginning to curl like the other one, three fingers dont work at all whilst my pinky is supperhuman and works above and beyond the call of duty.
I have 6 noduels on my left fingers and 5 on my right. To say they pain is an understatement. Not being able to do simple tasks drives me mad so i know how you feel. The biggest problem with me is not so much the pain but the way they look, i offten catch people having a look. I smoke and lighting my lighter is a work of art you should see people looking. I have been refused surgery because of a silly mistake i made in talking to the surgeon. He asked me what was the worse thing about my hands and i said the way they looked. i thought they understood the pain regardless. He wrote to my Rheumy saying he was not prepared to do cosmetic surgery on me. So there you go your not on your own. I'm not being sexest but believe any form of arthritis is far worse for woman because of the roll they play in the home, whilst i can and do just walk away the wife just gets on with it, I think trying to run a home, bring up kids and all the other responcibilites of the home must be so trying at times and my heart goes out to you all. Take care and keep your chin up.
Colin

joanlawson

Hi Suzter
I can't advise you because I only have mild OA in my thumbs, but that can be bad enough,so I can only imagine what you must be suffering. Looking after a 2 year old is hectic at the best of times, so it must be very hard for you with your problem fingers. I hope you get some help from the hand surgeon. Do they all realise that you have a toddler to look after? I would think that makes it more urgent for you to be seen.
Joan

suzster

thank you colin, it means so much to not be alone. i to smoke (probably shouldn't but nowadays it's my only vice!) i use a zippo lighter as i cannot manage a normal lighter at all, i even struggle to flick the ash, so i to must be a sight, especially during a flare up when it takes me forever to get the front door open, then struggle outside for a smoke, it's so much hassle!!
still i hope i won't have to wait to long for an appointment.
today i struggled as usual trying to get money out my purse in tesco, then my worst nightmare i dropped the coins, as for trying to get them again, well with only one working thumb it took me forever to grasp it, the checkout bloke was looking at me like he was in a major rush, i don't think he realised how hard the task was.
still, like you say you find ways to get by, but it's the simple everyday tasks thats are hardest,
the silly thing is my o/t when i was first diagnosed made this big fuss of telling me to protect my hands, here i am a yr on with 2 fingers and a thumb working on one hand and 3 fingers working on the other, so not much good at protecting them.
i just wish i could write, my eldest has neater writing than me now, i'm sure when i put notes in her homework book her teacher thinks it's her that writes it not me!!!

mrsdalloway

Oh god I sympathise with you there I hate being in a supermarket and getting change out of my purse as my fingers and brain don't work at the same speed! I always feel really conscious of it as though I am holding everyone up. Trust me you aren't on your own and when you are spilling coins remember at least one of us will be doing exactly the same thing either that or I will be still trying to wrestle a 4 pint carton of milk out of the trolley! Also, if anyone makes tutting noises or huffs and puffs your hands and fingers may one day work better but they will always be inconsiderate idiots!

suzster

thank you mrs dalloway, i guess most people don't realise i have any problems, arthur doesn't show, maybe a range of t shirts with 'i'm with arthur!' on them would show others that anyone could be dealing with what the lovely arthur throws at us!
i do get flustered when i'm trying to get money out, coins can be so hard to grasp can't they?
sometimes i feel like saying to people i have arthritis but then you get the same old comment "you are to young to have it" also why should i have to explain myself? but if i don't explain they don't know, it's a vicious circle and i'm having a tough time at the moment!
back to a t shirt with it written in big red letters i think!!!
at least my other joints aren't to bad at the moment!
touch wood!!

woodbon

Hi,
Its a horrible problem you've got with your hands. Mine are quite sore and they don't like small things like change or pills. I often have to search around on the floor! :? And they go numb when I hold a book or paper and during the night. I have carpel tunnel as well as oa :roll:

I hope your hands get sorted out for you. I'm waiting to see a plastic surgeon with mine, I think they're going to have a face-lift! :shock: I could do with one.

Love Sue

suzster

i asked hubby to chop my hands off last night, i haven't felt that desperate since my before my RA was diagnosed, i guess that proves things are better in the rest of my joints though.
i'm starting to regret lowering my morphine dose now though.

frogmorton

Hi Suz
Poor old you!!
Thing is you aren't really doing anything wrong are you? Other people can do these things and not have any problems can't they. They can bangtheir hands or pick stuff up...
I'm moaning now - sorry, but I keep having a worrying-possible-scary-thumb-trying-to-popp-out thing and I was scared when it was happening to you. Now I am v v v scared. I think I can feel a bump that's not there on the other thumb.
Suz what do I do? Hellup!!!
It seems to be more if I let the thumb do anything without the rest of my hand touching/supporting it. Like lifting a brandy glass (sort of joke, but sort of true!!)
Actually just ignore me and keep us up to date with your finger saga.
Take care
Toni x

suzster

toni, if you can feel a sort of nobbley bump at the base of your thumb and it's dislocating or feeling out of place you might have a nodule to, it's very common from what my rheumy said, i would suggest trying to see either you rheumy or rheumy nurse as you will probably need an injection in it to help sort it, please get it checked, your rheumy will be able to see if it's a nodule and the injection will help, mine feels better, it's not dislocating as bad, it just seems to slip abit, mine was worst when i was pushing the pushchair, i think because i was trying to get all my fingers to grip, but they wouldn't!
but please get it checked, i know how horrible it feels.

i'm actually worried more now because since hurting my hand again on saturday i have a little bump thing on my palm which really hurts, it feels like something inside is stretched and seems to pull when i use my hand, i just rang my dr's to try to get a gp appointment but all they can offer me is thursday morning, i think thats terrible. if i thought it would do any good i'd go up to casualty but i guess they'd just tell me to wait for the hand surgeon to give me an appointment, i hate the feeling i've got now!!

debbierose

I posted for the first time last week and felt better after reading the replys, so i thought i,d send my thoughts to the ladies an gents who are struggling abit. and not feeling too good

I,ve seen the consulant today, and ot. and have had an injection in my butt which was a steroid, and also a full phyiso, also my meds upped. the ot, has made me some splints for my little fingers and thumbs.

so although feeling totally worn out, i know i'll feel better in a couple days.

so please make an appt with your doctors or nurse leds.
don,t struggle on.

frogmorton

Hi Suz
Thanks for the reply - I will get it checked out - it's tiny, but does feel like it's slipping and i can't cope like you have :shock: You have been so cool about it, but must be feeling panicky inside. Espec with the palm now too.
Deb
Thanks for your comments too and good news about apt. That steroid jab should do you proud!!! Good luck - you'll be in riverdance next!
take care
Toni xx

suzster

lol, riverdance, not sure my knees up to that!! but could be fun trying. it would make hubby laugh anyway!
i'm glad you're going to get your hands checked toni,at least it will set your mind at rest and hopefully make you feel less discomfort to.
as for me being cool, if you had seen me crying like a baby on saturday when i hurt another finger you wouldn't of thought me brave, i think i can take so much then i fall apart and cry, then i feel abit better again!
but sarah (my 2yr old) having those terrible 2 strops is proving very tough, i really struggle when i'm trying to get her in the pushchair and she is making her body all stiff to stop me, several times i've been reduced to tears after that, the straps are so hard to do up, but the pushchair is so good i'm going to have to put up with that, i wish the o/t could give me a magic tool to help with them!
i do worry that my hands are going to suffer, but i guess she'll grow out of the stroppy phase soon. it's the 1st time i've really struggled with looking after her, toddlers are way stronger than me!!!
oh well!
sue x

frogmorton

Hi Sue
I rang the rheumy nurses yesterday and forgot to leave my number on the machine :oops: :!:
Rang back today and we all had a good laugh about me!! :roll:
She recommended i see Gp as I don't see rheumy till 30th July so tha'll be tomorrow's job.
Maybe you're not as brave as I think, but you do a good job of sounding so cool about such an awful scary predicament!!
2 Year olds are really challenging.
Maybe ther is an answer out there to help. Maybe OT might know. A strap which you could pull to tighten would help?
Though as you say they dO grow out of it. They do honest!!!
Mind you - don't you sometimes wish you could throw yourself on the floor and bellow like on the advert?!!!!
Anyway look after your pinkies
Take care
Toni x

suzster

oh many a time i've felt like throwing a full on strop, it would be funny to see my 2 girls reaction! often when sarah my 2 yr old is screaming and shouting i look at her and do a sad face and she seems to just laugh, no sympathy there, but it can stop her in her tracks!
we used to be able to joke her round when she started getting moody but she goes into a full blown strop so quickly now it doesn't work!!

good luck when you see dr, i hope they can help you.

marief

HI
Sorry to be the barer of bad news but your hands are due to the RA.
I have RA and us to be a hairdresser but my hands are so bad i had to give it up .
Right hand the tendon snapped had surgery to repair it but still carnt move my fingers up and down .(like you were waving) also index and middle have swan necking which looks like the fingers are bowed, ring finger and little are both disscolated from the first joint so are much shorter and hard to bend.
Left hand index finger hand surgery as it was swan necking (which is the tendon which runs along the finger has move to the side so when you bend it it bends funny)the tendon is cut and put back mine is now to tight so wont bend , middle finger the middle joint is disscolated so sticks out to the side of the finger ring and little arent to bad , both thumbs are fused and both wrists as well.
Could have more surgery but may make things worse and over the last ten years this is the first year with no surgery on the cards as ive had both knees ,hips and ankels replaced so think I need a break.

Jeannie

Hi Suz,
I suffer with my hands too, so I can sympathise with you. The pain is unbearable sometimes and I just go to sleep to get away from it. I'm sure my ironing has got moths in it - it's been stacked on the bed for weeks. I can't even change the sheets on the bed or do the simplest things. I get stroppy and swear and shout ... my husband locks himself in the loo with a book until I get over it and then does what he can to help. My soul goes out to all of you younger folk who are trying to cope with children and 'young' marriages. At least 'US' have been together so long we've even got past the 'fighting' stage and are kidless!
Just to let you know, as Colin says, that you're not alone. My very old mum thinks it's shocking that I don't wear a wedding ring ... "What'll the neighbours think?"
Jeannie S

suzster

i wear my wedding ring when i can but i have a real fear of it getting stuck on my swollen finger! it's how i judge how bad the sweling is, if my ring comes off easily then swelling is not to bad!
anyway, i to get angry, asking for help is so hard, it's admitting i can't do things and i is awful! i have always been very independent, hubby tells me off, even my 10 yr old daughter tells me off, telling me i'll hurt my hands, but i still try to battle on!
shouting, swearing, growling and crying are all things that come out of my mouth, or are muttered under my breath.
i hate that i can't even hold a pen to write properly. i wrote my mums mothers day dard on saturday and it was so hard, the writing was like a scribble and as i've said before i'm living in fear of having to fill out forms, no one could read my writing!!
oh well, maybe i'll get my referal one day!!