A Bit Down

woodbon
woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
edited 28. Mar 2009, 12:30 in Living with Arthritis archive
Hello
I'm feeling a bit down this week. I think its just hit me that I really am leaving work, when the paperwork is done for my pension. I am not looking forward to claiming ESA, whatever. I am still being paid at the moment but that is abuot to come to an end. I lookied on the site and tried to read about it, but, just found myself going round in circles. I think that is my main worry, all the paperwork, going for medicals and interviews etc. I don't know what level my pension, if any, will be. The Occy Health doctor said it should be fine and was just a question of 'rubber stamping' everything. I work for the local council, so I'm lucky, really.


I keep wondering if I'll ever work again (I'm 53, nearly 54). Its not the money I worry about, as luckily I don't have to work, although it will make things tighter and I'll lose the feeling of independance. I've always worked, apart from a few months when we moved from Oxford to Norfolk, a place I didn't know, so I spent a few months finding things! :roll: Thats enough of a moan! :( Love Sue

Comments

  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Aw Sue, I am sorry you are feeling down - only natural though. You are always posting kind messages on here to peeps. I was made redundant from my pt job 5 years ago when I was about your age. I loved that job and it was only 5 minutes away from home. Jobs are few and far around here if you do not drive and so I have not worked since, but have found other things to do like visiting elderly locally and finding this site, having more time for myself and my family and now my grandchild whom I adore. I had more time to look after my mum and we got very close. I have a couple of office cleaning jobs, so I feel I contribute in a small way. It does take time to adjust - when at work you have a title if you know what I mean, and when you are not working it is different you are Sue or Elna of Fred Bloggs.

    You will be ok - be kind to yourself and you will soon bounce back.

    Luv
    Elna x
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Sue,
    Sorry you have all this going on at the moment. Maybe it wont be as bad as you think when it is all sorted out? You take care, stop your thoughts from circling even if you can only shift them to a oval. Cris x
  • mistywillow
    mistywillow Member Posts: 711
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    woodbon wrote:
    Hello
    I'm feeling a bit down this week. I think its just hit me that I really am leaving work, when the paperwork is done for my pension. I am not looking forward to claiming ESA, whatever. I am still being paid at the moment but that is abuot to come to an end. I lookied on the site and tried to read about it, but, just found myself going round in circles. I think that is my main worry, all the paperwork, going for medicals and interviews etc. I don't know what level my pension, if any, will be. The Occy Health doctor said it should be fine and was just a question of 'rubber stamping' everything. I work for the local council, so I'm lucky, really.

    Hi Sue
    it is a difficult feeling letting go of the work thing. There may br other things that you will be able to do that will give you an interest. Lots of voluntary work schemes do not necessarily require you to be able bodied and it can add an extra dimension to your life. arthur can make you feel like all you ever do is give up things but there are some positive experiences that you can drag out of it! :roll: sorry some how i seem to have inserted my message in yours :roll: I'll get the hang of the site one day!!
    Love Gill


    I keep wondering if I'll ever work again (I'm 53, nearly 54). Its not the money I worry about, as luckily I don't have to work, although it will make things tighter and I'll lose the feeling of independance. I've always worked, apart from a few months when we moved from Oxford to Norfolk, a place I didn't know, so I spent a few months finding things! :roll: Thats enough of a moan! :( Love Sue
  • nearlybionic
    nearlybionic Member Posts: 1,899
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Sue
    It is understandable that you feel a bit down at the moment. It will take time to adjust and it might be a good idea to contact someone at CAB or welfare rights to discuss how to go about sorting benefits etc.. They can be a fantastic help. Give yourself time to accept the changes, that will be a big thing for you. My aunt recently had to finish work due to OA and other medical issues and it has taken nearly a month to feel she has other things to offer. (does that make sense?) She probably won`t work again, she is a few years older than you, but is enjoying looking after her grandchild, which she wouldn`t have been able to do if she was still working.
    I`ll send a gentle (((((hug)))))
    Take care
    NB
  • jackie1955
    jackie1955 Member Posts: 632
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Sue,
    I have had to take some time off work, and start to claim ESA. I hadn't claimed anything for 20 odd years. I really hope to return to my job once I start on the MTX, as I love my job! BUT, I have to be realistic too - as do you :!:

    So, if we are unable to do our jobs lets not waste time 'mourning' it!

    For you Sue, how about making a list of things you've always wanted to do but never had the time? Ok maybe your health won't let you do somethings, but we won't think about them. Only the things you could do :!:

    e.g. Learning a new language; painting; reading books you've always meant to read; photography; yoga; writing your memoirs(!); compiling a Family Tree; surfing the net; baking;

    And how about joining a social group - learning crib/bridge/chess, or a swimming class; getting together with friends for coffee and a chat; contacting old friends/colleagues you've lost touch with?

    Sue - theres lots to do, hun, don't let yourself get the 'blues' :)
    Life will be different, but it can still be as fulfilling doing things you WANT to do as working for someone else :wink:

    Sending cyber hugs (((( ))))

    Jackie x
  • debsmartin
    debsmartin Member Posts: 209
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Sue

    So sorry that you are having a bad time at the moment it must be so difficult trying to take in all the forms and possbile medicals. Here hoping that everything gets sorted quickly sorted quickly for you.

    Take care

    debs
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you everyone for your kind messages. I know I'm not the only person that has this to face and I know I will come out the other side. I'm not the sort of person to do nothing and I'll find things to do. I will do something voluntry if needs be, I am usually a positive person, and I know that this mood will go, I think its the waiting for everything to be sorted out thats hardest. I already feel better. Things will work out, I'll MAKE SURE THEY DO! Love Sue
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 28,211
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Sue
    I don't like to see you down :(
    Here's abit of sympathy from me :)
    You look after yourself.
    There IS life after the dreaded 'arthritis'!!
    Take care
    Toni x
  • eckstardeluxe
    eckstardeluxe Member Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Sue, sorry you are not feeling yourself. I think you hit the nail on the head there, I think you're right when you say you worry about ever working again and losing your independence. Those were some of the reasons I chose to go back, also I work in the public sector so would have been daft to walk out on that pension. Because it was a hard job to get, I did feel if I gave it up I might never get a job like that again that pays so well and accomodates my illness as they do. Being 33 myself I feel I have to try and give it a go. Had I been much older I don't think I'd have gone back. Yes I'd have the same worries you do but my auntie is the same age as you, she worked until last year and really regrets it, she feels staying on to work out of sheer independence made her symptoms worse. She tells me all the time she wishes she'd given up sooner so maybe this will be the right thing for you. Hopefully you feel much better soon, take care x
  • breane
    breane Member Posts: 392
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Sue,I know how you must be feeling as I have had to give up my part time work as a home help.Although I only did four mornings a week,I have been struggling since the OA has got worse.I guess some would say that at 62 I shouldn't bother with working but I liked the indepenence and the feeling of helping other people.Naturally the extra money was a bonus but health comes first.I hope you will soon feel a little perkier. Love,Breane.
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,373
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Sue,

    Glad to read in your second post that you already feel more determined to get things going. I can well understand your feelings of dread with this life change - I had them too when I finished work. I think voluntary work is a great idea, especially if you don't rely on your salary - you have alot to offer and I'm sure a volunteers bureau would snap you up and put your skills to good use.

    On the other hand, as Jackie suggested, there are probably lots of things you always wanted to do that are just waiting for you to do them.

    You can probably spend more time with us too :wink:

    Luv Legs :D
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Gosh, thank you everyone. I am feeling better and in no small way thanks to your support! :) I know that I am lucky in lots of ways and I have had years of working in jobs that I have enjoyed (mostly :roll: ) . I think this morning I felt down, I'd watched TV the other night, a documentry about Kevin Weatleys mother who has dementia. They discussed lack of trained staff and poor treatment, quality of life etc. for suffers. I used to work with severe end of life dementia suffers and I am trained. I just wanted to put my uniform on and go back, but I know I can't. It can get very physically demanding work.

    Anyway, thinking about it, I may be able to use some of those skills as a volunteer. I will do something, anyway. Who knows this is could spur me on to find something worthwhile that I hadn't thought of.

    Once again, thank you all for the support. Its so good too, to be able to say things and get them off your chest, without upsetting my poor, long suffering husband! :) . Love Sue
  • hezmarie25
    hezmarie25 Member Posts: 63
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Sue
    I hope you are feeling a bit better and more positive about your future. I too had worked for years and I just did not know what to do with myself when I had to give it up. I tried different hobbies but although they kept me busy my mind just was not active and it started to drive me insane. I had a period when I was very down and depressed. One day my daughter came home from school and needed some help with her english course work. The next day I sat at the pc and started typing away and before I knew it I had produced a really good piece! I now write short stories and I am trying to get them published. Even if I don't it fills the void that not working left.
    I am sure you will find something. I am new to this site but its wonderful and there are many kind and caring people on here. We can all have a moan and a groan without putting it on our families shoulders :D and find fellow sufferers who know exactly how we feel.
    I have a motto now, I live every day as if it is my last and I try to not have any regrets. If there is something that I regret I try to sort it asap :)
    Take care of you
    Love Heather x