I had a lovely surprise

marie48
marie48 Member Posts: 189
edited 30. Mar 2009, 07:57 in Living with Arthritis archive
I was talking to a relative on the phone and was telling him about my problems with my arthritis. I was surprised to get by interflora a lovely bunch of flowers this morning. I felt a bit guilty for him spending his money on flowers for me and hubby told me off and said I am exagerrating my condition. He said if he comes and sees you, he will think he has wasted his money on you to see you walking. Honestly I do not know what to do to convince hubby that although I look fine, I do have aches and pains 24/7!! I do not think he will take me serious until I drop. Hubby thinks buying flowers is a waste of money. When I moan of my pain, he said I wish I could take your pain, but I doubt whether he will be able to cope.

Comments

  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,373
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It sounds as if your O/H thinks you should feel guilty Marie, but don't. Some partners have to go through an 'acceptance' period too - maybe your husband has to do this. He can't feel your pain and you're obviously coping well otherwise he wouldn't be offering to have the pain for you. :shock:

    Enjoy your flowers and the kind and generous gesture they were sent with.

    Luv Legs :D
  • ritnew
    ritnew Member Posts: 338
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    What a lovely thoughtful thing to do, don't feel guilty just enjoy I'm sure you deserve them. I love getting flowers.
    Rita X
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hmmmmm sounds like the delivery of flowers has slightly ruffled your hubby. What do you think? Whatever, you enjoy those flowers. The person would not have sent them unless they really wished to do so. Because you are able to walk does not make everything ok, does it? Far from it.
    Flowers definitely lift one's spirits so hope you have placed them where you can see them most.

    Elna
  • vonski
    vonski Member Posts: 1,292
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi

    It's always nice to get flowers, just enjoy the treat. As for your hubby, he's a man, :roll: that's all you need to know. If he has a cold I bet he's dying of flu :wink:

    Love
    Vonski x
  • hezmarie25
    hezmarie25 Member Posts: 63
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    vonski wrote:
    Hi

    It's always nice to get flowers, just enjoy the treat. As for your hubby, he's a man, :roll: that's all you need to know. If he has a cold I bet he's dying of flu :wink:

    Love
    Vonski x
    What a lovely gesture. Enjoy them xx
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    vonski wrote:
    Hi

    It's always nice to get flowers, just enjoy the treat. As for your hubby, he's a man, :roll: that's all you need to know. If he has a cold I bet he's dying of flu :wink:

    Love
    Vonski x

    Tee! Hee! Brilliant reply, Vonski! :lol::lol: We love them though, don't we?

    E x
  • vonski
    vonski Member Posts: 1,292
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Elna

    Very true, I wouldn't be without him :) Well most of the time :lol:

    Love
    Vonski x
  • penfactor
    penfactor Member Posts: 366
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Your hubby was probably feeling a bit guilty he has not given you flowers himself, when he saw you were so cheered by them & a little jealous he couldnt have done something lovely like that. Men never like to admit they have been wrong. I'm sure he is really worried about you deep down & his way of helping is by trying to underplay your condition - he will probably now be shaken into being a bit kinder, like your lovely relative
    XX
  • hezmarie25
    hezmarie25 Member Posts: 63
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi all
    Must admit mine tends to try and play everything down. He says its his way of pushing me! Sometimes tho I just want to take myself off somewhere quiet and lie down and sleep.
    Mind you he a man and its right what you say about a cold being flu lol. Nice reply.
  • mistywillow
    mistywillow Member Posts: 711
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hezmarie25 wrote:
    Hi all
    Must admit mine tends to try and play everything down. He says its his way of pushing me! Sometimes tho I just want to take myself off somewhere quiet and lie down and sleep.
    Mind you he a man and its right what you say about a cold being flu lol. Nice reply.

    Hi all
    Glad you got some flowers, you deserve them you know what your you are going through.
    Very funny and true Vonski!
    I also think that it might be a coping strategy for hubby. If he minimises what you are going through he needn't be so upset by it!
    I have often found that one of the difficult things about arthur is that frequently there is nothing to 'see' that remotely corresponds to the pain that you are in which can make it hard for others to understand, even GP's ( linking it to a thread on here i read today).
    There is also a tendency expressed by most pain sufferers to minimise the extent of the pain as frequently this helps us deal with it and get on with life.
    d045.gif
    Look after yourselves Gillx
  • hezmarie25
    hezmarie25 Member Posts: 63
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Spot on Gill
    Take care
    Heather x
  • colinone
    colinone Member Posts: 1,039
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Flowers are far to expensive and anyway they die and then theres the going to the shop for them, what if me mates see me, i'll be the talk of the pub. and then one has an image to keep up she would think i was going soft.

    She once brought me flowers lol this bit is true, she was always going on at me about not buying her flowers so one day she bought some for me. They where in a vase on the dinning room table and when they died she was about to throw them out and i pretended i could not part with them as nobody had ever bought me flowers but her. she looked at me all sort of googly lol and said thats so sweet but i was just punishing her for buying them in the first place we had them dead on the table for about six weeks. LMAO she will kill me if she sees this LOL i think i better shut up
    Colin
  • marie48
    marie48 Member Posts: 189
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It is nice to receive flowers but they are so expensive to buy. Although lovely to look at, they do not last long. It is a nice thought though, but looking at them, they will not last long and it costs £30 to send. My daughter sent me some on my birthday and I told her off for spending her money but she said if you waited for dad you will not get flowers. My husband gets embarrassed to buy flowers at his age. I know he means well if he takes notice of my complaints I will just lie down and crawl in bed. I did tell him if I am negative and in my moaning mood, he must lifts my spirits and tell me I am doing ok. I have been joking with him about getting flowers only on the "big send off", he will have no choice then. I love flowers and gardening but would not buy them at that price.
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Flowers are expensive to send/buy but if that is what friends/relatives/other half wish to do, then why not accept them happily, be uplifted and enjoy them. I have said similar to my daughter about sending flowers, but she takes no notice and I have at long last come to the accept that people wish to show their affection and if they cannot be there with you that is one lovely way of showing that you are loved and being thought about big time.

    E x
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi
    There is nothing quite like flowers to lift the spirits, and they don't have to cost a fortune. I would be very happy to receive some inexpensive ones from the supermarket, and the plant food that you put in the water makes them last at least a week.

    The alternative is to buy a growing plant. I have a beautiful chrysanthemum in a pot in my lounge, and it cost £2.49

    In my experience, most ladies like to receive flowers, and a lot of men too, so come on folks, give your other half a nice surprise, and buy some just to thank them for being who they are !!
    Joan :D
  • ramummy
    ramummy Member Posts: 100
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    What a lovely relative, how nice to know someone cares so much about you - enjoy the flowers. xx
  • katekelly
    katekelly Member Posts: 975
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It's an expensive way of saying I'm thinking of you but a kind and considerate gesture. Perhaps o/h is a little bit peeved he hadn't thought of it!!
    Once when I was feeling a bit down after birth of our youngest my hubby came home with a play gym for the baby!!! He thought it would keep her occupied and give me a bit of time to myself....I thought I just want a bunch of daisies that mean he thinks of me as his wife not just the mother of this squawking thing!!!! As I said it wasn't long after the birth and hormones were raging and so was I!!!! :roll: :shock:
  • colinone
    colinone Member Posts: 1,039
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Guys well flowers to you all because you all deserve them
    Colin
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Kate
    Yes, there are times when even a bunch of daisies would be welcome. :lol: I can just imagine your husband thinking he was doing the right thing, and you trying to hide your disappointment :roll:

    Babies really are a shock to the system, much as we want them. When my twins were tiny, my husband used to come home from work to find me sitting there with one baby each side, and all three of us bawling :!: :lol: Those were the days :!:


    Colin
    Thanks for the flowers :D They are lovely :lol:
    Joan
  • marie48
    marie48 Member Posts: 189
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Yes, I do think even with some daisies picked from the garden will be welcome. I have hinted to hubby and adult children, expensive flowers is a no,no but will gladly accept flowers from the supermarket and better still to give pot plants, they do not cost a lot. Hubby said, you like flowers, go and buy it yourself but it is not the same. He is a bit shy, I did get some red roses for my 60th birthday.

    This morning, I received a big get well card from the same relative, it is a big strange as man are not usually that thoughtful. Now I am off to town although I am not a big card sender, I feel I have to send a thank you card.