I Feel so Stupid

lisapb
lisapb Member Posts: 6
edited 7. Apr 2009, 06:55 in Living with Arthritis archive
My hips, knees and ankles are so painful sometimes that I have borrowed my mother-in-laws crutches, this mainly happens during the evening, I feel so stupid, I wouldn't use them out of the house but I feel people who come must think I am over reacting. I have an appointment with a consultant on the 22nd April, can't wait really because then hopefully I'll know what's the matter with me.

Has anyone had like swellings on there arms just below the rist? I can't figure it out.
:oops: :idea:
Thanks

Lisa

Comments

  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,902
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Lisa
    You gotta do what you gotta do girl and if you are in pain and it';s the only way you can get about then jolly well do it :!:
    Seriously though you do have all my sympathy - i have resorted to my Mum's walking stick too so I know what you mean!!
    Hopefully you will gte some answers when you see the specialist and then people will understand more.
    Take care
    Toni xx
  • colinone
    colinone Member Posts: 1,039
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Lisa
    You have to do what you do to get by in the best way you can, Dont worry what other people think its not there pain and they dont know how you feel. I wont speculate on the lumps or swelling but people with arthritis do swelling , lumps, bumps but your GP will tell you what it is if your worrying, in the mean time all will be revieled when you get to the rheumy appointmen. Take Care.
    Colin
  • mash65
    mash65 Bots Posts: 834
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    ive also taken too crutches on my bad days.
    oa in knees,hips,spine,hands,wrists .my physio said i cant use walking aids because it would cause further probs with my spine.
    she's not the 1 that needs to get out & about.
    i hardly go out anyway,maybe twice a wk.
    i try to manage with out the crutches,but my o/h says i walk hunched over with out them.so he trys to insist on me using them.
    but im so slow on them,people still dont get out of ur way,oaps still over take me :lol: ive never had any convidence so crutches was a better option than a stick.
    but i still cant get my head round 41yrs needing to use aids.bath,stairs,crutches whats next.
  • trustymick
    trustymick Member Posts: 9
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    lisapb wrote:
    My hips, knees and ankles are so painful sometimes that I have borrowed my mother-in-laws crutches, this mainly happens during the evening, I feel so stupid, I wouldn't use them out of the house but I feel people who come must think I am over reacting. I have an appointment with a consultant on the 22nd April, can't wait really because then hopefully I'll know what's the matter with me.

    Has anyone had like swellings on there arms just below the rist? I can't figure it out.
    :oops: :idea:
    Thanks

    Lisa
    Hi Lisa
    My wife cannot use crutches as it is so painfull to hold them
    her wrist and arms will not support her
    her swelling is all over and the pain she is in bad
    her r/a is all over her body (top to bottom)plus o/p etc :roll:
    But will she have a wheel chair? no she will not admit she is disable
    and wil stop at home than be seen with a wheel chair
    Trustymick
  • eckstardeluxe
    eckstardeluxe Member Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi, I don't have your symptoms but symphasise about the crutches. I have a walking stick and can't bring myself to take it ouside or to work. I just feel I'm not ready to deal with people asking me about it or them thinking I'm overexaggerating my illness. My hubby and family and even my Dr keep telling me to stop worrying about what people think, I think as time goes on I might feel more ready to use it in public. take care x
  • mash65
    mash65 Bots Posts: 834
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    just want to put this topic to the top of the list because i think confidence & disability is a big issue,i.e using aids outside of the house & being of a youngist age has mental issues as well as physical.
    do we all want to be chucked in a wheelchair,then wrote off.
    we can deal with it inside the house,but going out is another issue.i know i put off going out because of my walking difficulitys,i asked my o/h if we could order online for the food & he said no''i enjoy getting out of the house''he has suffered yrs of depression so im wanting to stay in when iv spent 5 yrs getting him out of the house.
    its a no win stage in our house but i love him so it dont matter,we'll get through it all.
    when your hit by arthr he moves in,sleeps in ur bed,keeps u awake,& trys to run ur life.give him a smack from me.he deserves it.
  • livinglegend
    livinglegend Member Posts: 1,425
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    mash65 wrote:
    i think confidence & disability is a big issue.

    I agree with this. But the thing is that the more people use a stick or crutches outside their house, the more commonplace it becomes. Then hopefully the more common place, the more acceptable. It may go back to the time when disability was hidden away from the world as something shameful :oops: , which nowadays we know NOT to be the case.

    If you go out in the rain s065.gif you would use an umbrella, if you go out and you need a stick/crutch you should 'wear' it as well. Try treating it as an item of clothing that you need. Give your stick a pet name which makes it more sociable.

    Being housebound can get to be a habit. d020.gif So, lets all go out there and be proud of who you are, being disabled is part of you, not all of you.

    So take a big step c060.gif and go. Not easy but possible.

    Somedays I do go wittering on.

    Joseph 8)
    Josephm0310.gif
  • petmad
    petmad Member Posts: 252
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Like mash I have been told by eh physio and all the docs not to use them. I am complying just now, until the cervical spine fuses, then just watch me...I will use them if I feel I need them and BUM to the experts who are not hurting. Linda
  • ninakang
    ninakang Member Posts: 1,367
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    This is a really interesting topic. I was diagnosed with RA a few weeks ago and have my first rheumy appointment on Thursday. I have had quite bad days before, if I'm honest with myself and I think I was in denial. My sister has cerebral palsy and RA and I knew the symptoms and in the back of my mind I knew it was probably RA but didn't want to have it formally diagnosed. Silly isn't it, really? I was my own worst enemy at getting treatment.

    My sister in confined to a wheelchair and only a year younger than me and I seem to have spent most of my life telling her to get out more and not notice when people stare at her or care. But now the shoes on the other (painful) foot, I find my confidence ebbing. Last week I had my first day off work because I could barely walk. The pain seems to be in different places whenever it feels like hurting.

    I had a good weekend, like a lot of you, it seems, but I'm paying for it today. I don't like sympathy and I don't want to have to use lifts or have things carried for me! I know it sounds very ungrateful and I know I'm spitting out my dummy but I think the biggest blow with this is losing independence.

    My husband works longer hours than me so I have always done all the cleaning, washing and ironing. We take it in turns to cook. But the main reason for me doing most of it is because I really, deep down, don't believe anyone can do it as well as me! Honestly! It pains me to watch him doing something because I'm itching to take over from him and show him how to do it "properly".

    Anyway, that's my rant over for today at least... thanks for "listening", I do appreciate it.
  • eckstardeluxe
    eckstardeluxe Member Posts: 1,192
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Nina

    I don't think you are spitting your dummy out at all. I am exactly the same and I don't see myself this way, I see myself as a young Mum struggling to come to terms with her disability and the fact it was all caused by medical negligence in my childhood. I am coming to terms with it but it has to be in my own time, telling me how and what to do will not change things, in fact they are more likely to make me feel like doing the opposite. I know my family are just trying to help but they just have to accept that I'll get there when I get there and with Arthur with me for the journey it could be some time :lol: take care x
  • mistywillow
    mistywillow Member Posts: 711
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Nina

    I don't think you are spitting your dummy out at all. I am exactly the same and I don't see myself this way, I see myself as a young Mum struggling to come to terms with her disability and the fact it was all caused by medical negligence in my childhood. I am coming to terms with it but it has to be in my own time, telling me how and what to do will not change things, in fact they are more likely to make me feel like doing the opposite. I know my family are just trying to help but they just have to accept that I'll get there when I get there and with Arthur with me for the journey it could be some time :lol: take care x

    Hi all
    Nina hope your appointment on thur goes OK.
    I totally feel for you not wanting to compromise on how things get done. I am exactly the same i want to do things myself and although i am grateful when the family help out most of me just feels frustrated that its not being done properly. (does make me feel a bit mean when i know they are doing their best.) I HATE having things done for me grr arthur you have a lot of people waiting to duff you over.!!!!!!!
    Take care love Gillx
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I know how you feel, its hard excepting help sometimes, I recently had a visit from my sister and her husband - they stayed 4 days, as they live a 5 hour journey from us. My sister offered to help with things and I got quite cross, thinking she didn't think I was doing things properly. I did really know she only wanted to help, as usual when we visit each other, we help, but this time it felt different, but it was me not her. Love Sue
  • livinglegend
    livinglegend Member Posts: 1,425
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Spitting out your dummy, well........!
    babies_95.gif
    Joseph 8)

    :roll: Sorry webmaster. Picture and a thousand words.
    Josephm0310.gif
  • josiec
    josiec Member Posts: 386
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hmm this is an interesting thread. I used crutches for a while when my foot first flared up and didn't mind that (at the time it was better than walking, believe me!) apart from the inconvenience. I have got a stick now which I use sometimes, being lucky enough not to need it all the time. The first time my friends saw me with it was on hols in Ireland, after struggling for a couple of days I sneaked it out of my bag but, bless them, they didn't turn a hair. I didn't ever use it at work when I probably could have done with doing until the snow earlier this year. I must admit though, my head finds it a lot harder using a stick than crutches-not really sure why. I did buy the funkiest stick I could find though - pink and purple dots! :lol: The kids at school just accept things - they occasionally ask about splints, and one did ask why I walk funny last week-tried to explain to her that my toes don't bend like hers which she seemed to understand. Thought provoking! Josie :wink:
  • mistywillow
    mistywillow Member Posts: 711
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    woodbon wrote:
    I know how you feel, its hard excepting help sometimes, I recently had a visit from my sister and her husband - they stayed 4 days, as they live a 5 hour journey from us. My sister offered to help with things and I got quite cross, thinking she didn't think I was doing things properly. I did really know she only wanted to help, as usual when we visit each other, we help, but this time it felt different, but it was me not her. Love Sue

    Hi
    Its sort of like you have to change your whole personality isn't it. I was a doer, really active, never sat still and really enjoyed doing things for other people too. It is so so difficulty allowing people to help me. I feel like you i almost resent it. Maybe that is why so many of us don't like to use our 'aids' it draws attention to our disabilities. Even in the beginning when i wasn't yet on any meds and i could barely walk i absolutely refused to use a wheelchair, i compromised by pushing it front of me like a zimmer frame!!!!
    How ridiculous am i and i was a physiotherapist!! :roll: But then that is the great thing about this site. I can be ridiculous and people actually UNDERSTAND. Thank you all
    Gillx
  • ritnew
    ritnew Member Posts: 338
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I couldn't manage without my trusty crutches. I was thinking of spraying them to go with the different coloured outfits I wear. :lol:
    Seriously though my OA deteriorated so fast, last September I was managing without sticks or crutches, October I had to use my stick and occasionally a crutch, six weeks ago I had to start using my crutches all the time or I wouldn't get around at all. Fingers crossed I'll have a new hip before I have to use a wheelchair.
    Just wondering what my crutches would look like in a lovely shocking pink or all silver & glittery. 8)

    Rita X
  • livinglegend
    livinglegend Member Posts: 1,425
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    For cans of the most OUTRAGEOUS spray paints, try cycle shops. n045.gif

    Joseph 8)
    Josephm0310.gif
  • ritnew
    ritnew Member Posts: 338
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    For cans of the most OUTRAGEOUS spray paints, try cycle shops. n045.gif

    Joseph 8)

    Even car part shops. My husband sprayed an electric violin glitter green, it looks great on stage. 8)
    Just wondering what the hospital will say when I hand back their crutches painted in some outrageous way. :lol:
  • greyheron
    greyheron Member Posts: 167
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Really interesting comments.

    First of all I want to send my good wishes to everyone struggling with these issues - including the person who started off this thread - life with pain is so not easy and the emotional issues surrounding for instance use of crutches or a stick can just make it easy.

    I posted on here a while ago about how prejudiced I was about the 'image' of zimmer frames and I really didn't want to use one after my TKR. When it came to it, I was so grateful for the support and confidence the frame gave me that it turned my views around!

    I was lucky that with good physio and my own determination I came out of hospital walking confidently on one stick. In the early days of going out I used my 'official issue' stick which I hoped would send a 'This is serious!' message to people around

    After a couple of weeks I reverted to the stick I'd been using before my op - metallic bright purple and folding, but still strong and adjustable to the right length (I got it from a company called Mobility World I think ???). This made me feel like less of an invalid but still did my confidence good.

    Now four months on I don't need a stick - but my other knee is deteriorating so my purple beauty is stored safely away for possible future use.

    Using aids is something we have to come to terms with but for me wanting to get out and about was the motivator and if people thought the less of me cos I was using a stick, that was their problem.

    Take care everyone

    Wendy