Wish I could celebrate being 50!

penfactor

Just feeling very down,as I'm sure we all get, & wishing my 50th had not been such a downbeat occasion. I now can't do my job, am waiting for new hip, worried about how I'll survive - we all know - sorry just felt like letting someone know how awful I feel as I'm putting on such a "brave face" for my family & friends.
Know there are a lot of you out there who will understand - look at me! I can't even sleep - it's 4.30 & am so worried about the future & how it will ruin everything.

nearlybionic

Hi Penfactor
I hope you got some sleep eventually. You have a lot on your mind and pain etc.. doesn`t help.
I `celebrated`my 40th in Dec, but because of arthur and needing new hip I didn`t do any of the things I had planned to. Everyone around me (not my hubby tho`) treated me like I was making it up and I should have just got on with it. I can understand where you are coming from. If you have been feeling low for a while, or if it doesn`t lift, try talking to your dr, to see if things can be pushed along re your op or if he can give you something to help.
I am hoping to do something nice, like a weekend city break or something, as a belated birthday treat, for my hubby as much as for me, as soon as I feel strong enough to really enjoy it.
These `milestone` birthdays seem to make us think more about our life and for us it is difficult to see the positives at times. I am hoping to find out when I will be able to go back to work when I see the consultant in a couple of weeks. But am worried about how I will manage some aspectts of my job, so am afraid I will let my colleagues down. I think that arthritis and what it brings , is more than the physical , but has lots of emotional baggage to deal with. And unfortunately, people can`t always see these things, so don`t understand.
I hope you got some rest as things feel worse when you are so tired. Take care. And (((((((((hugs))))))))))
NB

eckstardeluxe

Poor you! Well I'd certainly like to wish you a Happy Birthday but I know how you feel. I got my diagnosis a week before my 33rd Birthday, no big milestone but I had this sad feeling that down the years I'd always remember that Birthday as The One I got Arthritis. I was always young looking and acting for my age and felt it too . I never worried about getting older but now life with arthur has changed me. I feel dread at the thought of getting older as my Consultant said the stiffness will get worse in the next few years, I think "worse than this, oh my God!" This sounds so cliched but why not find a hobby. Everyone was saying this to me and my curt response at the time was to get lost (but not in those words :oops: ) But I did find something and Ican't believe how much I'm starting to feel more positive. Just a little thing I'd always wanted to do for my kids and suddenly I am getting told how great my projects are and it actually makes me feel good. I am also starting to think in a more positive way and without getting too deep, that maybe this happened to me so I could do these things I'd never had time for before.

Keep your chin up and remember you are not alone, we understand your sadness. Arthur is bad and good days and that's not just physically, he mentally takes his toll on you too. Just know we are here to help whenever you want to share, you take care now, xxx

penfactor

Thank you so so much for your kind words - I just felt so overwhelmed & low when I wrote that post. It really does help though to know there are people out there who understand.
XXX

frogslegs

penfactor wrote:

Just feeling very down,as I'm sure we all get, & wishing my 50th had not been such a downbeat occasion. I now can't do my job, am waiting for new hip, worried about how I'll survive - we all know - sorry just felt like letting someone know how awful I feel as I'm putting on such a "brave face" for my family & friends.
Know there are a lot of you out there who will understand - look at me! I can't even sleep - it's 4.30 & am so worried about the future & how it will ruin everything.

Hi Penfactor

Happy 50th to you and welcome to the club...both 50 and arthritic......I too are up at 4.30, I did not have to give up my career as a graphic artist through health but choice, to go self sufficient....but as I did have cervical spondylosis at the age of 30..may needed to anyway, than while I started gardening full time...it was apparent that I had big problems with the back...so another career change to a gite owner in France. I know everyone has different problems and some people not able to change their lives but perhaps if you can focus on the good things in life...I used to love walking but cycle and have taken up swimming while I have lived here as we do have a pool. I find the weather here has helped and know that if I had still remained in Essex, however lovely it is I would be much worse. Chin up