25yrs old shoulder arthirits help!!

rachaeljoules
rachaeljoules Member Posts: 6
edited 17. Apr 2009, 18:03 in Living with Arthritis archive
Hi.
My name is rachael i have 3 young children and i have arthritis in my shoulders both shoulders are afected but my left more thanmy right,
I dont know why im posting here i dont knowhow any of you can help but i have no idea how much longer i can cope with this extreme pain somedays is so bad i cannot evenget dressed or go to the toilet then there is the children to care for some mornings i have to phone my friend to get my son out of his cot for me as i cant even lift him. makes me feel so useless i have huge piles of laundry because sometimes i cant even do that. my partner will come home from work some days to find me crying with no housework done and all he can say is dont be so silly it cant hurt that much but he doesnt seem to understand that this pain the worst!
I am only 25yrs old the way i see it is its only going to get worse so what sort of life will i have? im on diclofenac and dihydracodeine (cant spell lol) while they help the pain i hate taking painkilles all day and night long.
If anyone reading this has any idea how to help the pain and how to make partner understand how bad the pain is i would greatly appreciate it....

Is it normal to have some ok days and some very painfull days 1 day be ok next day cant even move my arm!!
Rachael

Comments

  • josiec
    josiec Member Posts: 386
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Rachael,
    Firstly, welcome to the site-I promise you it will help, as everyone on here knows how it feels and can offer support. First of all, ahve you spoken to your GP about the impact that this is having on your daily life? Have you had a hospital referral? Push for it if not, it is your right. They can assess things properly and may have some suggestions. There are lots of booklets and leaflets available here to help you explain how you feel to your family - it takes some adjusting to for them, too. It isn't easy to explain to people but it does help. You can also phone the helpline if you would like to chat to somebody who understands, and you can post on here-there are loads of very experienced people who can help or offer a friendly ear if you want to let off steam. Hope this helps a bit, take care, Josie :wink:
  • denpen
    denpen Member Posts: 389
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Rachael
    Aw you poor thing, I really dont think that some partners can understand what you are going through if they have never had this sort of pain, it is true that you seem to get some good days and bad days (by the way I have OA in both hips and I think my shoulder - waiting to find out or that one) and it can get you very down when you are in pain, its better to keep topped up with the painkillers by taking them regularly to try to keep the pain down a bit.
    Its good to talk as they say, and by posting on here you can tell everyone just how bad or good you are feeling on any particular day, and there is always someone willing to give advice or just listen to your problems, and it is nice to know that there is somebody out there that understands and has same or similar problems that you do.
    Take care
    Denise.x
  • rachaeljoules
    rachaeljoules Member Posts: 6
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Huge thanks for all your replies, Its been such a long road gettin a diagnosis and getting the medical professionals to actually understand that im not just thinking its worse than it is, In a way im scared to ask for help my children are 5,4 and 2 and every day is sucha struggle im scared theywill take my children away as i cant do everyhting for them, they are clean,happy and fed my eldest goes to school on time everyday and stuff but when it comes to the housework its impossible, they have got me a worker from homestart tohelp with the housework but then im too frightened to let them in! im so ashamed at the state ofthe house.
  • nearlybionic
    nearlybionic Member Posts: 1,899
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Rachael
    I have sent you a private message. Hope you find this site a good source of support and info.
    NB
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Rachael,
    I should like to send you a cyber hug (((()))) and just say I am glad you found the site, I wish I had when I was first told how bad my back was. Like you I worried about so many things and it doesn't help as it makes you tense and that will up set your shoulders.
    As to what you can do thats harder. There are people here who can advise you better than me but I should ask for better pain control and better diagnosis and maybe take your partner with you so he can ask questions as well. It's a shock for everyone but they do come round and the site is full of people who's partners had to come to terms with it as well.
    I wish I could help more but there are things the doctors etc could do for you sometimes, especially when your so young, they need really pushing. take care, Cris
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Rachel,

    First of all, welcome to the site and from now on, you will not be alone in all this. I know we are all cyber friends but we do know where you are coming from. You certainly do have a lot on your plate - even an able-bodied mum would be struggling, I would have thought. You are doing good. Your children will not be taken from you. As you say, they are, clean, happy, fed and loved you must not waste energy worrying about that.

    Also don't worry about the worker from homestart coming in to help you with the housework. They will have seen all types of scenarios. Let them in - that is what they do and you will reap the benefit.

    Is it osteo arthritis you have, or rheumatoid? I know how shoulders can really hurt and stop one from being able to do so many chores. I have an inoperable massive torn tendon and I have had physio on it, and try to exercise it every day to strengthen it. It has improved.

    Has physio been suggested to you at all? I know it is not great to have to take meds but they do keep you going and give you a quality of life.

    As to the other half not understanding at all, this is very common. You look ok so everyone thinks it is all in your head - when it DEFINATELY is not. Good idea of Cris's, take him along next time you visit the gp.

    I wish I could help more. You don't live near Marlow, in Buckinghamshire, do you? I don't wish to scare you but I would willingly call in to help in any way that I could, if you did.

    Let us know how you go on. Chin, up Rachel, you are doing ok.

    Luv
    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • mash65
    mash65 Bots Posts: 834
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    my partner was with me at 1st rhymy appointment & will be with me at nx,this has given him a good understanding of whats going on & he's been great through it all.and ive been through the mill lately.
    i was adviced by physio take all the medication to the max.exercise ( use it or lose it) rest up after trying to do something. have a lay down each afternoon for at least an hr. eat regular meals to keep blood sugar levels up. your body will tell you when to rest, dont ignore it. hope that helps.& remember your not alone here.debsx
  • carolinemoore4ntlworld
    carolinemoore4ntlworld Member Posts: 3
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Rachel

    Im new to this site too, but not new to the pain we all share! I know what you mean with your partner and im afraid theres no easy way of getting him to understand your pain. there just isnt any pain like it. not only that but theres the fatigue that comes with it, as someone else has said, you HAVE to make sure you rest. you must have tons to do with such young children (i have a 3yr old) so sort of get what you mean but you really can only do your best.

    I would recommend you talk to your dr about Humira (an anti-TNF drug) i was put on it over 3 years ago now and its changed my life, i couldnt pick up my son before i was on it but now its a breeze, i really hope youre glad you contacted this site, i know i am!!

    good luck x :)
  • rachaeljoules
    rachaeljoules Member Posts: 6
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Wow what a response thank you so much!
    Im new to the diagnosis after being diagnosed with so many different things first it was just inflamation of the shoulder joint (hmm well i wonder what arthritis is lol) then it was adhesive capsulitis (frozen shoulder) after 6 yrs of being told it will go away by itself i finally get a diagnosis,
    Its kinda easier knowing im not the only one, so many people seemed surpised that i have it under 65ys old and its a little helpfull to know im not the only one.
    as for meds doctor says they are just pain reliving meds untill i get my hospital referall sorted as i was reffered back to gp from hospital after the diagnosis to be reffered back to the hopsital seems stupid to me,
    I dont really know about the treatments nor what lies ahead of me all i know is i feel sooo tired all the time but whether thats related to the arthiritis i dont know, I know i should take my meds all the time but i hate how drugged up the dihydracodiene makes me feel i only take them whenthe pain is so bad i cant cope any more but i suppose i should take them anywa,
    Thanks againfor your kind replies .
    Rachael
    an i Live in telford shropshire thanks very much for your offers of help
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Rachael

    Yes, the tiredness will be due to the arthritis, a lot of the time and meds can make you feel tired too. If you are stressed as well, which you are bound to be, that is not going to help either is it? Do you not take any anti inflammatories? Could your gp prescribe another type of painkiller if they make you feel whoosy/drugged up?

    Yes, we hear that story all the time on here about people just not getting it, that you can have arthritis from a very young age, nearly be born with it, in fact. It is a load of old cobblers that arthritis is an "old age" related disease. People do need educating, don't they?

    Telford is a bit far for me to travel on my bicycle :lol::lol:

    Take care, I am off to bed now. You are up late too. Hope you sleep well when you do turn in. :)

    Luv
    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • mike77
    mike77 Member Posts: 879
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

    Hi Rachel, sorry that you ound this site but the people here will be able to relate to your pains. I have OA which is all through body now , the tiredness is awful but the meds tend to do this a lot also meds mess with torielt trouble , it the keyboard that is making us spell things wronly. my Wife has Fibromayglia it attacks her muscles she was having trouble with her shoulders , first the physio told her it was a frozen shoulder but guess what its still here and getting worse so today she hving x rays done on both shoulders, hazel ( wifes name ) is having low blood pressure .

    Mike R & Hazel & Mike R JR :o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o:o
    Mike R & Hazel & MikeJR
  • joseyanna
    joseyanna Member Posts: 22
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Rachael, I feel so sorry for you as I am 40 and have a 4 year old and twin 19 year olds (both at uni) and find it hard to cope with 1 little one who is at school. I have pain in my shoulders and lower back and feel exhausted most of the time. You should be proud of yourself looking after 3 little one's while in pain. Quite often I spend the day resting in bed when my little one's at school so I think you are doing brilliantly. I keep thinking I'm going to do this and that housework today but then I'm too tired and don't do anything. Keep smiling :):) love Josey
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 30,087
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Rachel
    I am sooo sorry this is happening to you :(
    Listen. No-one will take your kids away - having a health problem does NOT make you a bad Mum. I am (but DON'T tell anyone :wink: ) a former social worker and THAT is not valid criteria!! I know you will be worried about this because this evil illlness makes you feel so down.
    You HAVE come to the right place. We do understand and will help all we can with advice and experience or just support if that's what you need.
    Your hubby is probably terrified and like some men (not all) hoping that if he ignores it - then it is NOT happening. Get him the arthritis care leaflets to read and he'll get his head round it and take him to all Dr/rheumy apts with you.
    In the meantime TAKE the help and take back control. You can and you will survive this.
    I wish you all the best
    Take care
    Toni xx
  • yesmeducky
    yesmeducky Member Posts: 50
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Rachel,
    I'm so sorry you're having a bad time. You seem to have had some excellent advice which i can't really add to. I'm new to RA which i have all over and includes my shoulders but steroids are keeping the pain at bay. As much as you dislike taking the pain relief (as i do) you must keep on top of your pain. You will turn the corner. Take care Heidi x
  • pluggathome
    pluggathome Member Posts: 171
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Rachel

    I'm really sorry you are having such a tough time.

    My husband struggled to understand the pain at first. My dad has had RA for 30plus years and suffers a lot and that's all he saw not what was happening with me. They do get there eventually. Some of it is them not wanting to accept what is happening to someone they love so they try and fool themselves that it can't be that bad. It will change, honest. It's a lot for them to come to terms with too.

    I really do wish you well and that things get better for you, as best as they can and some good days are on their way to you.

    Sending you some cyber hugs ((((()))))

    pluggx
  • jimmy77
    jimmy77 Member Posts: 71
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    rachaeljoules wrote:
    Hi.
    My name is rachael i have 3 young children and i have arthritis in my shoulders both shoulders are afected but my left more thanmy right,
    I dont know why im posting here i dont knowhow any of you can help but i have no idea how much longer i can cope with this extreme pain somedays is so bad i cannot evenget dressed or go to the toilet then there is the children to care for some mornings i have to phone my friend to get my son out of his cot for me as i cant even lift him. makes me feel so useless i have huge piles of laundry because sometimes i cant even do that. my partner will come home from work some days to find me crying with no housework done and all he can say is dont be so silly it cant hurt that much but he doesnt seem to understand that this pain the worst!
    I am only 25yrs old the way i see it is its only going to get worse so what sort of life will i have? im on diclofenac and dihydracodeine (cant spell lol) while they help the pain i hate taking painkilles all day and night long.
    If anyone reading this has any idea how to help the pain and how to make partner understand how bad the pain is i would greatly appreciate it....

    Is it normal to have some ok days and some very painfull days 1 day be ok next day cant even move my arm!!
    Rachael

    Hi,

    Sounds very painful. Localized arthritis in the shoulders is not all that common but I get extreme pain there periodically. I get the same in the knees, feet etc. but I take alot of anti-inflamms. and steroid tablets and injections which work great. I have never found a typical pain killer that works for me. Maybe check out some other things. Don't rule out acupuncture either.

    Good luck, Racheal

    Jimmy
  • airwave
    airwave Member Posts: 579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    My name is rachael i have 3 young children and i have arthritis in my shoulders both shoulders are afected but my left more thanmy right,
    I dont know why im posting here i dont knowhow any of you can help but i have no idea how much longer i can cope with this extreme pain somedays is so bad i cannot evenget dressed or go to the toilet then there is the children to care for some mornings i have to phone my friend to get my son out of his cot for me as i cant even lift him. makes me feel so useless i have huge piles of laundry because sometimes i cant even do that. my partner will come home from work some days to find me crying with no housework done and all he can say is dont be so silly it cant hurt that much but he doesnt seem to understand that this pain the worst!
    I am only 25yrs old the way i see it is its only going to get worse so what sort of life will i have? im on diclofenac and dihydracodeine (cant spell lol) while they help the pain i hate taking painkilles all day and night long.
    If anyone reading this has any idea how to help the pain and how to make partner understand how bad the pain is i would greatly appreciate it....

    Is it normal to have some ok days and some very painfull days 1 day be ok next day cant even move my arm!!
    Rachael[/quote]
    Hi Rachel,
    I have the same pain, sharing can be a help, most of the time it is. No tablets or injections have helped, no rest or relaxation from pain, it is difficult. I started swimming, well thats my word for it sort of truncated version of the breast stroke, that was three months ago. I can now do 2-3 sessions a week and the pain is halved, it just bloody hurts now!

    It is now easier to put up with, I can turnover in bed without constantly waking up. I continue to do a very slow swim, going for time in the water rather than trying to use my arms too much, it does seem to work, unfortunately not for my other joints, hey ho.

    Stay cool

    8) Its a grin, honest!

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