Pain on wrist's bone

marie48
marie48 Member Posts: 189
edited 8. May 2009, 17:52 in Living with Arthritis archive
Sometimes I wonder what joint will be the next one to be painful!! It started with back pain years ago, then crunchy knees making it difficult to go up and down but not really painful. In Dec, the neck joined it with referred pain down lt shoulder and arm, constant pins and needles, untolerable pain. This settled down and the pain became manageable, but since then I have dull ache in my rt arm near elbow and lately pain on my wrist's bone, very strange pain in the bone, difficult to describe. The base of my right thumb starts to hurt and now the left thumb has joined, it is just a constant ache. My fingers feel stiff and slightly swollen and sometimes I have to remove my wedding ring. Behind my right leg starting to ache as well, more like a muscle ache, the lists can go on and one. My friend came to see and I was telling her about my aching joints. She told me to stop moaning as there are people worse off than me and get on with my life. She thinks I am bored that's why I am focussing on my aches. I do try to be positive as I cannot control my OA but it seems to be that it will get worse not better as nearly everyday there is something aching. Hubby said try not to take any notice, but how can I?

Comments

  • lindah
    lindah Member Posts: 445
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Are you sure she's a friend?
    You sound like me on any one day my pains can be anywhere.
    I don't really wish this on anyone but if certain people (doctors or so called friends) could be in our shoes for a little while they might not be as dismissive.
    There are a lot of people worse off than us but it's not a competition is it? Some days for me are worse than others but I would still like to think my friends and family don't think I am cured.
    Sorry to have a rant on your post but you deserve sympathy not a put down from a friend.
    Chin up and keep smilimg
    Linda H 8)
  • tanith
    tanith Member Posts: 175
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I have mutiple joint O/A and can only say that I remember how tired I would get when my Mum was always complaining about this aching and that aching (I remember not being very sympathetic) I just wished she would not go on about it so... So remembering that, I tend to not voice my pain aloud very often. I keep it to myself and suffer in silence a lot of the time, then when I do complain if I am having a particularly bad day I find everyone is much more concerned and willing to listen...

    I find my thumb pain is the most stubborn to treat with painkillers it just never completely goes away....
    Our worst times are always our best lessons.
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello,
    Snap!!! Well, I hope not that exactly, :D but I've had a similar symptom pattern to you, OA in my lumber spine, neck, hands, etc. It keeps popping up in new places.

    I'm really sorry your friend is unsympathetic, perhaps she had a bad day and was feeling grumpy! Also, I think people who don't have arthritis don't realise quite how bad it can be, they think it is just a few aches and pains, nothing much. When the fact is its a problem which cannot be cured as such, although a lot of drugs help with pain relief and a lot of new treatments are around to make life better and pain free. (Well, almost). It may help if you show her this site and explain how fed up YOU are as well.

    I'm sure you do get bored, I know I do! It dosn't help if your bored and depressed :( Could you do something with your friend? Go out somewhere or get a dvd and watch together?
    I also have carpel tunnel syndrome in my, which is effecting my hands and I'm waiting to see a plastic surgion, who may do a small op on the wrists to release this. Do you wake up with tingling in your fingers at night? If so, talk to your GP about it, you may have to have a simple test which is painless.

    Sorry, I've gone on a bit! :oops: :) I hope you get things sorted, if shes a true friend, she'll understand and maybe you could come to some arrangement, let her moan about something and then you have a turn! :mrgreen: Love Sue
  • page35
    page35 Member Posts: 1,081
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hi
    like lindah said, some people without arthur just dont dont relise how painfull it can be. unfortunaly you cant get rid of arthur but may be you could get rid of your "friend".
    hope tomorrow is a better day for you :D
    my aches and pains move around too and new ones join in.
    take care
    page
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 26,662
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi All
    Tanith - I too remember my Mum groaning or gasping in pain in inapropriate places sometimes like the supermarket!!!! :oops:
    So just like you I try to keep my gob shut!!
    I like to think though that my friends and family beleive me when I do voice that i'm in pain!!
    Poor you Mrie - it IS horrible pain isn't it. Sometimes it hurts so much it can be really really difficult to think about anything, but the pain :(
    I suppose it does help to distract yourself if you can...sometimes it works.
    I do hope that tomorrow is a better day for you
    Take care
    Toni x
    Love

    Toni xxx
  • mistywillow
    mistywillow Member Posts: 711
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    frogmorton wrote:
    Hi All
    Tanith - I too remember my Mum groaning or gasping in pain in inapropriate places sometimes like the supermarket!!!! :oops:
    So just like you I try to keep my gob shut!!
    I like to think though that my friends and family beleive me when I do voice that i'm in pain!!
    Poor you Mrie - it IS horrible pain isn't it. Sometimes it hurts so much it can be really really difficult to think about anything, but the pain :(
    I suppose it does help to distract yourself if you can...sometimes it works.
    I do hope that tomorrow is a better day for you
    Take care
    Toni x


    Hi Marie and all
    I also tend to keep my moans to myself as I think when you suffer from a chronic disease friends and family probably only have a limited capacity for sympathy.
    Marie, are you taking any medication for your pain, and have you tried other ways of managing your pain eg heat pads or cold packs. Relaxation and meditation techniques. When you feel down the pain definitely feels worse. Maybe you need to find things to help you feel better in yourself so that you will be better able to cope with your pain. It is difficult for those that dont live in constant pain to understand what it feels like never to be free from it, hence the beauty of this site!
    Hope you can find ways to ease and cope better with your pain
    love Gillx
  • megmot
    megmot Member Posts: 26
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi everyone
    it is so hard to be postive when in so much pain,i have started smiling and saying im fine because people do not realy want to now the truth that i have three hours sleep a night and walk round the house crying with pain,pain killers help but for me there is pain in joints that were fine last year i have gone down in the last six months and do not have all the ansers to what is wrong with me i am on a months sick now again GP thinks i will be sign off again.
    big hug to you all
    Meg
  • marie48
    marie48 Member Posts: 189
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks for all your responses. I think I will try not to moan, now when people ask how am I? I said do not ask!! You are right to think that friends and families get fed up with constant moans and there is nothing they can do. My daughter usually moans a lot and when I asked why she said it makes her feel better when it is off her chest. I have decided to moan only on this forum, so you all have to put up with me!! Sometimes with new ache, it makes me wonder whether it is in my head, I know it is not. I have been trying to do some natural healing listening to a tape but it does not work. I am also interested in self hypnosis just to switch off. I am amazed how some people can put themselves in a trance like and walk on fire without feeling any pain. If only we can do something like that to take time out from the aches and pains, it will be great.

    I have a friend who when you phone her, she is always complaining of her aches and pains. Now I know how she feels. I must admit I was unsympathetic before as we used to dread ringing her. The problem with her she is descriptive with her illness e.g recently she had an abscess in her bottom, and she described this in details to you, she does really put you off.

    Gill, I am not taking any medication at the moment. I am due for physio assessment on the 18th and I want to start treatment without medication to see whether physio actually helps. I am coping quite well, the aches and pains are manageable now. It is only the constant pins and needles in lt arm that is a nuisance. I actually sleep quite well at night except for a couple of trips to the toilet. I am pain free in bed and quite comfortable as I sleep in the foetal position, the memory mattress and pillow are a great help.
    I do a different exercise every day e.g yoga, pilates etc and have started swimming once a week as well although not a very good swimmer. I stay in the pool for 1 hr, swim a bit and then go in the bubble pool and let the water massages my painful joints. The fun pool is usually full of toddlers with the parents and I feel a bit out of place on my own there.

    I am seeing my GP tomorrow for a review of Amitriptyline and have decided to stop taking it as it does not seem to help. It makes me sleep well and I do not usually have problem sleeping at night and am not kept awake with pain except the occasional flare ups. I am glad my GP believes me as I do not think my husband and adult children do. I have asked my adult daughter, she said yes but I like to think my mum as being in good health. Adult son even told me to stop going on the forum. I guess sometimes ignorance is bliss, he said you are not that bad yet while thinking of what might going to happen.He does not understand why I do not want to come and visit him in London. I think hubby is in denial, when people ask how I am, he said she is fine as if I am making it all up. Scan does not lie.

    My friend thinks a holilday will help but they do not seem to understand I find it so stressful to go on holiday. Last time I went on 12 hrs holiday I was worried about my back seizing up on the plane. Now I am much worse with the neck etc, I do not think I can cope with a long journey, there is a wedding next year and my relatives want me to come. One even said why don't you travel first class, he must thinks I am loaded!! To be honest, I do not want to go and spoil somebody's special day. I guess, I am being negative. I am quite happy staying at home with hubby doing the usual things together.

    I like watching "extraordinary peoe" on tv. They do inspire me. It does make me shut up and consider myself lucky. I said to myself, you can still walk and cope with your activities, just enjoy life.

    Oh dear, I must be boring with this long post. Hope everybody is coping well. The weather is still nice in Bucks but a bit cold. Take care all of you. Marie X
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 26,662
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Marie
    I think you are doing really well you know.
    Yes moan to us because we do understand don't we?! :wink:
    Pain really is the worst thing I think. I have ben in pain so much that it has made me heave. I've probably said that before!! Sorry :oops:
    See I'm repeating myself now.
    Good luck with the physio- I really hope it works. You must let us know.
    My hubby is in denial too - I think he is lovely, but he thinks if he ignores it it will go away!! Right!!!!
    I recently got a meditation CD myself and am trying that out to see if it helps. You never know.....
    Sounds like you ahve a good GP and I am pleased for you about that at least.
    Well you take care
    Toni xx
    Love

    Toni xxx
  • marie48
    marie48 Member Posts: 189
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Your hubby sounds like mine, ignore it and it will go away or he says stop moaning, we have to accept these things in our age, 61 & 67. I must say he is in good form, at least one of us is. He is very laid back, I can be on strike and do nothing if I want and he will not complain as long as he gets his food and he is not fussy what he eats. God saves me if I cannot no longer cook, it will be sandwiches. He said do not worry I will look after you, his idea of looking after me will be to feed me and put me infront of the TV.
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 26,662
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Gosh Marie
    he IS my husband!!!
    He will eat anything too, but is not much partial to pasta (my favourite!!!)
    Toni xx
    Love

    Toni xxx
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi, If a I start moaning my husband starts rubbing his shoulder, which he hurt about 17 years ago. I know it does still hurt sometimes but, sometimes I feel hes in compation. I am a kind, loving, careing wife, and I do feel sorry for him but why is it only if i moan? Perhaps hes trying to tell me something!!! :D Love Sue
    PS I'd have to eat anything as long as its not vegatable!!
  • sammysoo
    sammysoo Member Posts: 3
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm in dreadful pain. cervical spondylosis, lateral epicondylitis, wrists and fingers painful and stiff, hip and toe joints hurt. Its hard for people to understand how much pain were in. Not much of a friend if they tell you to stop moaning. I've tried all sorts of remedies, its very difficult to keep positive. :):lol:
  • marie48
    marie48 Member Posts: 189
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    My friend phoned me and told me to watch embarrassing illnesses and watching this programme will make me stop moaning. I must say it did work.
  • airwave
    airwave Member Posts: 416
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Curious how friends and relations treat us, but at the end of the day they don't understand pain and how arther treats us, I wouldn't want them to experience it either. A lot of people get on with their lives and it disturbs them if we alter their perception of how their world is.

    So, how do we get our message across that we hurt, for my part I've stopped telling my wife so often and am trying not to blame my angst on arther, I do try and live normally, whatever that is, I certainly don't tell anyone as they sort of glaze over and don't listen, I blame any number of causes, 'I'm just falling to bits' "same as last time' or just say, 'I'm bright eyed and bushy tailed', if anyone asks how I am, its very general and we don't get involved in long stories.

    So, what happens to the rest of you? I come on here and vent my feelings!

    8) Its a grin, honest!