will I find love again

achealot · 29. Apr 2009, 09:35

Hi everyone

I dont want to come across as a sad loner but I do sometimes think about meeting someone one day, but then I think who's going to want a fourty year old divorcee with two kids and has got OA?
I know I should be greatfull that I have two great kids that I love dearly but i do get a bit lonely when they're in bed or out with their mum.
just wondered if anyone has any happy ever after stories they'd like to share?

frogmorton · 29. Apr 2009, 11:45

Hi Achealot
Yes I do!!!!
I was a sad divorcee with two kids and I found my husband at the school gate!!! Now I am a 'Mum' of 3 girls and I wasn't even looking!!!!! :shock:
Keeps your eyes open - you never know!!!
Take care
Toni x

achealot · 29. Apr 2009, 15:24

Hi frogmorton

Thanks for the reply

how did the subject of arthritis come up and how did he respond ? If you dont mind me asking.x.

frogmorton · 30. Apr 2009, 08:37

Hi Achealot
We talked alot at the time and it came up really easily about my health problems. We went to Florida 6 months in to the relationship and that is where my back finally gave up!!!! ( Hospital admission there and home in wh'chair!) He had to see me through all that, then back surgery, a 'proper' allergy of the type which stops you breathing and also chest pains in the first year of our relationship. And then he still wanted to marry me!!! Must be MAD!!!
There is someone for everyone - I know!!!
Take care
Toni xx

mistywillow · 30. Apr 2009, 16:44

frogmorton wrote:

Hi Achealot
We talked alot at the time and it came up really easily about my health problems. We went to Florida 6 months in to the relationship and that is where my back finally gave up!!!! ( Hospital admission there and home in wh'chair!) He had to see me through all that, then back surgery, a 'proper' allergy of the type which stops you breathing and also chest pains in the first year of our relationship. And then he still wanted to marry me!!! Must be MAD!!!
There is someone for everyone - I know!!!
Take care
Toni xx

Hi achealot
My OH actually proposed to me when I was in intensive care after my first spinal Op. It was a long time ago and i was younger, but I was in hospital for 6 months and he knew what he was letting himself in for and he has stood by me for the last 30 years. Some people see the person inside the grotty old bod!
Keep your eyes open, you might already know them

Gillx

achealot · 1. May 2009, 04:39

you both seem to have more troubles than me and yet you both seem to be very happy.
i'm so happy for you both its good to hear there are still decent people out there.
you have both give me hope and i thankyou .

BIG HUG

Brendan x

skezier · 1. May 2009, 04:57

Hi Brendan,

I'm like you and have become very sceptical but you shouldn't be as it makes you closed to love even if it comes your way....... I think there are loads of decent folk out there and fingers crossed you will find one, usually when your not looking.

Take care, Cris

lindalegs · 1. May 2009, 06:37

Hi Brendan,

Admittedly I didn't have RA till we'd been married for 7 years but my husband and I are still together after 30 years even though he fell in love with 'the woman before' and not the wreck I've become.

I think that because you live inside your body, with the limitations and pain of your disease it's amplified to you more than to others. Outsiders see you as totally different to how you see yourself and because they can't feel your pain it's not such a big deal to them.

Remember you're a person just like everyone else you just have a more challenges in life than most - I'm sure there's a good woman out there for you.

Luv Legs

achealot · 1. May 2009, 09:18

I cant believe there are so many nice people on this site, its brought a tear to my eye

my ex-wife didn't want to know about my illness,had no sympaphy and just called me a lazy b.....d when i had to quit my job.
Yet I was the one that kept the house clean and took the children to school cooked the dinner working or not I did it all . she worked part time and done the ironing on the weekend in front of the tv.

thanx guys you're all great x

lindalegs · 1. May 2009, 12:05

achealot wrote:

I cant believe there are so many nice people on this site, its brought a tear to my eye
my ex-wife didn't want to know about my illness,had no sympaphy and just called me a lazy b.....d when i had to quit my job.
Yet I was the one that kept the house clean and took the children to school cooked the dinner working or not I did it all . she worked part time and done the ironing on the weekend in front of the tv.

thanx guys you're all great x

Well Brendon, after reading the above I think you're eligible to become my male au pair/toy boy!! Just have to have a word with my hubby first

Luv Legs

achealot · 1. May 2009, 16:02

:oops: that would be great legs

wouldn't want paying much just a hug now & then

brendan x

lindalegs · 2. May 2009, 09:02

achealot wrote:

:oops: that would be great legs
wouldn't want paying much just a hug now & then

brendan x

Hugs will be on tap Brendon, as long as we've both had our meds first :shock: :roll:

Luv Legs

katekelly · 8. May 2009, 15:41

Hiya,
My ex left me after I was diagnosed so I have something to be grateful to "Arthur" for as it was the second best thing my ex ever did for me (the best thing is my 2 eldest girls). I went on to meet and marry a wonderful man who is Dad to my oldest girls and Daddy to our own daughter. So the answer is yes there is life and love out there you just got to be patient 'cos it will find you when you're not looking!
Keep the faith
Kate x

achealot · 13. May 2009, 09:28

Hiya Kate

I wish my ex had left me as soon as I found out I had aurther instead of making me feel worthless all these years. been divorced for 3 years and still she puts me down.
God what was I thinking when I married her?

all the best Kate

brendan xx

kathbee · 16. May 2009, 07:27

Just wanted to say to everyone
what lovely stories you have to tell,
and Brendan you deserve someone
really special as you sound like an
amazing guy.

Hope its not long before you find happiness.

Love Kath

achealot · 29. May 2009, 11:01

:oops: hi Kath

thankyou for your kind words , you've made me blush :oops:

Bren x

kathbee · 7. Jun 2009, 14:02

Hi Brendan

How are you at the mo.

Just wanted to tell you that my son
who is just a bit younger than you is divorced,
only one child though, but he is the main carer
and has found it really hard going and has been
down at times. Trouble is he lives in Toronto in Canada
and its 3,000 miles away from us, so we cant help out .

BUT, things have changed so much, he met a lovely
girl a few months ago and when I was there at the
beginning of May I saw an absolute remarkable change
in him. He is so happy, so there is light at the end of
those old horrible dreary tunnels, and lets hope there
is for you too and soon.

Hope you are well - ish and coping ok.

Love Kath

achealot · 22. Jun 2009, 09:42

kathbee wrote:

Hi Brendan

How are you at the mo.

Just wanted to tell you that my son
who is just a bit younger than you is divorced,
only one child though, but he is the main carer
and has found it really hard going and has been
down at times. Trouble is he lives in Toronto in Canada
and its 3,000 miles away from us, so we cant help out .

BUT, things have changed so much, he met a lovely
girl a few months ago and when I was there at the
beginning of May I saw an absolute remarkable change
in him. He is so happy, so there is light at the end of
those old horrible dreary tunnels, and lets hope there
is for you too and soon.

Hope you are well - ish and coping ok.

Love Kath

Hi Kathbee

I'm not to bad at mo, thanks for asking, apart from the teeth about to fall out.
I quit smoking on the 28th feb and since then my teeth have become lose :oops: .
Glad to hear your son has found happiness, also glad to hear that he is the main carer for his child .gives me a little bit of hope for when I go to court on the 29th june for the residency of my children.
GOD I'M SCARED.
wish me luck, I'm a man I'm gonna need a lot of it.

Bren x x

lindalegs · 22. Jun 2009, 10:11

May I wish you courage and luck.

Luv Legs

kathbee · 24. Jun 2009, 12:20

Hi Bren

Nice to hear from you.

I will be thinking of you next Monday
as I know others on the forum will too.

Sorry to hear about the dental problem,
thats weird though for it all to kick off
after you quit smoking.

Like Toni said previously there is someone
for everyone and things will look up for you soon.

Kath

joyful164 · 6. Jul 2009, 16:41

Hi Brendan

Just to welcome you on board
Do hope you find your sole mate soon, I'm sure you will
There is hope, I am on my 3rd husband and like luvlegs, he married me before I was diagnosed and I had a lot of health issues before, but he helped me through the lot.

hope we hear from you lots

luv
joyful

kathbee · 14. Jul 2009, 16:01

Hi Bren

How's things?

Hope everything went well for you
at the residency hearing.

Kath

achealot · 24. Jul 2009, 14:24

kathbee wrote:

Hi Bren

How's things?

Hope everything went well for you
at the residency hearing.

Kath[/quote

Hi all thanks so much for all your kind words.
I've not been on for a while been feeling a bit depressed . got to go back to court in oct after caffcas done their bit with the children ,not looking forward to that,anyway not much I can do about that its out off my hands now down to the courts now. I 'll probably be on streets by christmas like many others.sorry if im rambling on a bit I blame the diazipam im on at mo for hurting my back at weekend trying to pull out a weed from my mums garden.
got to rush now not feeling good x]

kathbee · 25. Jul 2009, 07:57

Brendon, sorry to hear things arent still any
better.

Hope the rest of this year will be kinder to you.

Will be thinking of you.
Kath xx

achealot · 26. Jul 2009, 17:47

pixyandfaries wrote:

hi brendon ,man you are going through alot at the mo, are you getting any help from ya doctor you sound very down ......why may you be homeless hun?? come backand talk things through xxxxxxxxxjan

hi Jan

how long you got i could do with a chat feel so alone angry scared and tired.
your gonna wish you never asked.lol
I'll try and cut it short. I've been divorced now for 3 years and I'm still living in the same house as my ex with our 2 children.strange i know . and for 3 years we have been going to court to see who gets residency of the children because who ever gets residency will get to stay in the house and the other will be made homeless.this we have been told by the council.but my ex has a good job and can afford to rent privately or even buy a house as i on the other hand am out of work and would not get any help.
I have all ways been the main carer of our children even when I was self employed as a builder.Even now I still do all the cooking cleaning washing etc whilst she goes out to work part time.
I'm the one at home with the kids day in day out yet she seems to think shes the main carer.so as we cant come to an agreement ,its down to the courts to decide.I am so tired of this fight its just not fair that i do all the house work take care of all the childrens needs and she come home from work at 3pm an sits on her backside watching tv until bed time .I must be thick to put up with it I know but I love my kids and I just wont quit.
And on top of that I've just been told I stand a chance of loosing my DLA if I appeal .I just wish I had a shoulder to cry on it gets harder every day i feel so lonely

mistywillow · 27. Jul 2009, 02:37

achealot wrote:

pixyandfaries wrote:

hi brendon ,man you are going through alot at the mo, are you getting any help from ya doctor you sound very down ......why may you be homeless hun?? come backand talk things through xxxxxxxxxjan

hi Jan

how long you got i could do with a chat feel so alone angry scared and tired.
your gonna wish you never asked.lol
I'll try and cut it short. I've been divorced now for 3 years and I'm still living in the same house as my ex with our 2 children.strange i know . and for 3 years we have been going to court to see who gets residency of the children because who ever gets residency will get to stay in the house and the other will be made homeless.this we have been told by the council.but my ex has a good job and can afford to rent privately or even buy a house as i on the other hand am out of work and would not get any help.
I have all ways been the main carer of our children even when I was self employed as a builder.Even now I still do all the cooking cleaning washing etc whilst she goes out to work part time.
I'm the one at home with the kids day in day out yet she seems to think shes the main carer.so as we cant come to an agreement ,its down to the courts to decide.I am so tired of this fight its just not fair that i do all the house work take care of all the childrens needs and she come home from work at 3pm an sits on her backside watching tv until bed time .I must be thick to put up with it I know but I love my kids and I just wont quit.
And on top of that I've just been told I stand a chance of loosing my DLA if I appeal .I just wish I had a shoulder to cry on it gets harder every day i feel so lonely

Hi Brendon
Things are really tough for you are nt they! It must be dreadful living with someone who you dont get on with and I think you are amazing to be doing this for your children. Hopefully the courts will be fair. Things have changed from the days when the mum was automatically given custody, as there are more men now who are the main carers. Try and hold it together for all of your sakes. It must be such a strain for you though!
Really feel for you and hope things get better. Keep in touch. How old are your children and are they boys or girls?
You take care of yourself
Gillx

will I find love again

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