Cannot Do This !!!!

snoops
snoops Member Posts: 29
edited 30. Apr 2009, 07:39 in Living with Arthritis archive
I feel very light headed today. Quite giddy infact with the pain in my neck & shoulders. I am in pain from head to toe, literally because I have OA in most places, for 5 days & am at the end of my patience!!! I really feel I can't go one with this damn thing. Every week or so it starts somewhere else. It has taken over most of my body. I must have been really bad in this life!!!
What really got me today was my O/H asked what I wanted to do at the Bank Hols. I said "well I dont know how I will be feeling" then he said "you can't not plan just because your feeling bad". Just the thought of being jiggled around in the car hurts. I love going out BUT!!! I really dont moan about things cause I know I would get on everybodys nerves. Even If I did they would not understand. This condition is so isolating personaly & socialy.
Sorry to be so miserable.
Ann XX

Comments

  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Snoops,
    I'm sorry you'r in so much pain, it does take the joy from life and somehow, planning things puts extra pressure on you to enjoy yourself and feel better, that it makes it hard to look forward to things. I know what you mean about the car, it can be hard, especially when you get out and find how stiff you are!

    Why don't you say the the o/h that it would be nice to wait and see if the weather is nice and you both feel like going out. Point out the traffic jams on nice bank holidays and the crowds, parking etc.
    Or make a plan to go somewhere fairly local and not too much walking for you. Work out a compromise. You never know, you may wake up feeling better and wan't to get out! :)

    Painkillers help, but they don't take all the pain away, do they? I've got OA in my neck and spine and quite a few joints.
    My car is a Land Rover, which can be hard to get into, its so much easier to get our and the seats are upright and you can have heat going through them, like an electric blanket!! :) I wish i could bring it indoors sometimes! :) . At the moment its of the road, as I had someone hit the side and didn't notice until I turned, and the wheel came off. :shock: . I'm drining my husbands car, which is lower and I get so stiff.

    Whatever you do, have a nice bank holiday :D Love Sue
  • nearlybionic
    nearlybionic Member Posts: 2,204
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Ann
    I am sorry you are having such a bad time with your OA. It can really make you feel rubbish, and fed up ! I know what you mean. I feel like I hold back my family from doing fun stuff, and then if they go and do things without me then I feel left out!! :shock: My back, neck, hands and elbows are giving me problems at the moment, and I don`t want to talk to people at home about it. I feel I am moaning all the time, and before OA I was such a cheerful fun person.
    It is difficult to look forward and plan activities when you know you could be in pain. We have tried to have contigency plans for days out, like bbq days, cinema(home with dvd and popcorn) days (much enjoyed by my kids) etc.. However I miss going out and seeing people and places. I have explained to my hubby how i feel, and now he is more sympathetic, as he has seen how bad I am in an evening after a day out in pain.
    I hope your pain settles down soon and you have a good bank holiday whatever you do. xx
    NB
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 8,043
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Ann

    I am sorry to hear you are having such a bad time with it all. We tend not to go out in the car on a bank holiday weekend if we can help it! The traffic is usually absmal and it is no joy sitting in traffic jams. Perhaps you can tell your other half that. Have you tried to make your family understand how you feel? Your other half must be able to see that you are in pain surely? It is probably that he forgets. If mine thinks that I can do something because I always used to do it, then I remind him. It is no good bottling it all up and becoming angry and bitter inside. that does not help at all. Talk about it, the family may not like it, but at least you have told them and keep on reminding them and it is up to them whether they start accepting it or not. You may well feel a lot better afterwards too. A problem shared is a problem halved. You will have to tell them sometime. You cannot keep it a secret and why should you do so.

    I hope you soon feel a little better and not so miserable.

    Love
    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • mistywillow
    mistywillow Member Posts: 711
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    elnafinn wrote:
    Hi Ann

    I am sorry to hear you are having such a bad time with it all. We tend not to go out in the car on a bank holiday weekend if we can help it! The traffic is usually absmal and it is no joy sitting in traffic jams. Perhaps you can tell your other half that. Have you tried to make your family understand how you feel? Your other half must be able to see that you are in pain surely? It is probably that he forgets. If mine thinks that I can do something because I always used to do it, then I remind him. It is no good bottling it all up and becoming angry and bitter inside. that does not help at all. Talk about it, the family may not like it, but at least you have told them and keep on reminding them and it is up to them whether they start accepting it or not. You may well feel a lot better afterwards too. A problem shared is a problem halved. You will have to tell them sometime. You cannot keep it a secret and why should you do so.

    I hope you soon feel a little better and not so miserable.

    Love
    Elna x


    Hi Ann
    sorry you are in so much pain. I think it is a problem so many of us have, planning activities. Its true you never know how you are going to be on the day, and plans for a pleasant day out can sometimes turn into a nightmare! Its also one of the hardest things to begin to accept is the changes that you have to make.
    Elna and Sue offered good advice to speak to your family about how things are for you. It is important to get them on board so they can try and understand what things are like for you.
    Then you can make plans that are appropriate for all of you and if you are not up to carrying them out, they will understand.
    I actually find that if I plan something and mentally adjust myself to what I have to do , I usually manage to go ahead and do it.
    Try if you can to make sure you have some resting time after your day out to recover if possible
    Hope you have a good bank hol
    love Gillx :P
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 8,043
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Gill :D

    "I actually find that if I plan something and mentally adjust myself to what I have to do , I usually manage to go ahead and do it. "

    I do so agree with that! This applies to a myriad of situations.

    Luv
    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • breane
    breane Member Posts: 392
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Ann,So sorry to hear you are feeling low. :( It's awful never knowing where the pain will strike next.My OA started off in just the hands and wrists and I now have it in the shoulders,neck,knees and feet.My pain relief meds don't seem to be of much help and lack of sleep doesn't help.I know it is difficult to plan things,never knowing how you will be feeling on any particular day.Sometimes our o/h just can't grasp how awful it is for us when the pain is severe.Just getting dressed this morning was an ordeal.The weather doesn't help either,pouring of rain where I am today.Lets hope we will get a few sunny days over the Bank Holiday to cheer us up. Take care, Breane.x