how do you get the balance in life?

mash65

since seeing the rhymy on monday i decided i must rest up more.
so the past couple of nights ive not sat on the computor.
ive sat on my chair,everything within easy reach,with blanket to keep warm,cushions to help my neck.the pain will not subside.
my neck is more painful,my back & knees r killing me.
ive tried to ignore the house work only doing the nessessary.
ive asked oh for more help,& nothings working.the more i rest the stiffer i get,the more mobile i keep the more pain im in.

has any1 found the balance yet?
rhymy told me to use crutches more as the oa in knees is worse than 1st thought.(physio said no to walking aids :x )
everytime i do something i sit & rest then im back up as i see something else that needs doing.
how im gonna rest up after injections is beyond me & its only for 2 days. :roll: think i'll just have to go to bed ignore the world till i feel able to get up & do my exercises in bed. :roll:

elnafinn

Hi Mash

If you have tried to do things differently and nothing has eased the pain/stiffness/ease of mobility, why don't you go back to what you were doing before? Perhaps you are getting more stressed out, trying to rest more, not doing what you wish to do and having to ask oh to do more.

It is a vicious circle sometimes isn't it? I think you may find it easier to rest after the injections if you are asked to do so, because you will wish to give them the best chance of working for you.

Most of us find it difficult to find a balance between work, rest and play! We feel better one day with more energy etc and enjoy being able to do more and then the next day we may well pay for our pleasures!

I hope you have a better day tomorrow,

Luv
Elna x

joanlawson

Hi Mash

Sorry to hear you are so uncomfortable and in pain. Getting the balance right is very difficult, I think. I have the same problem myself.

On Friday, I decided to go and have my hair done, and then I was going to come home straight afterwards. But instead of that, I thought I would be OK to walk round a couple of shops looking for some new clothes. Later on that day, and most of yesterday, I paid the price in pain in my knees and ankle. As you say, if you sit for too long you get stiff, but moving is painful. However, I think you have more to contend with than me, and your solution of going to bed might be the best one,until hopefully you feel a bit better.

Joan

livinglegend

mash65 wrote:

everytime i do something i sit & rest then im back up as i see something else that needs doing.

When you rest, you should rest and not keep bobbing up and down. Keep a piece of paper by you and note any jobs that need doing, giving them a level of priority, then do them when you feel up to it. Most jobs are non-urgent and can wait. As Napoleon said, "If I leave my letters for three weeks before opening them, it is surprising how insignificant the contents are."
When you feel better, catch up.

It is always a balance, as when you rest you WILL stiffen up. Then when you move you have to unstiffen. That's just the way it is and in time you accept this.

Joseph 8)

colinone

Hi Debs sorry to hear your not to good, I know how the constant pain wears you out. I don’t think the right balance really exists. I tried all sorts of things and the only thing that really helped was to stay in bed for a few days until the pain and swelling eased. But as soon as I got up and done any simple task it would all start again. I creosoted 4 fence panels on Thursday only 44 left to do, and its put me in bed its just standing that does it. The wife says I should do nothing but that’s hard to do as I feel its making her life harder. Its so hard to do nothing. I think it must be so much harder for you ladies to cope with all the stuff you do running the home, I wish I could tell you the answer or wave a magic wand for you, but ill tell you how I cope. I know if I’m going to do something I will have pain and suffer during and afterwards so I except the outcome knowing what will happen, some times I cope some times I don’t, some times I cant finish what I want to do or it may take me weeks. The difference is I don’t run the home like you. Cooking cleaning washing ironing making beds and all the other stuff quite honestly I don’t know how you ladies cope, if it where the other way round and I had to do those things we would live in a hovel and eat from the chip shop. It was not until I had to retire from work that I realised how hard it is for Kay
having me like this and doing all the other stuff she does. God help us if she ever got sick nothing would get done. I know some men help out in the home but we don’t do things properly so i'm told.
Colin

livinglegend

If you watch a top grade actor or actress then they are really good at doing nothing. When the action or conversation is carried out by another leading player then the actor does 'nothing', no fumbling, rocking, arm waving, face pulling, just plain nothing. That is why they are so respected in their profession.

Practice doing nothing, become part of the background, its something that can be learned. A valuable asset.

Joseph 8)

skezier

Hi Debs,

Sorry its not going to well for you at the mo. I tend to do my own thing even if its not what I am told I should be doing....... I think if you find what works for you it is better than what they say will work for everyone.

The pain clinic doctor told me to take it easy as she knew I wouldn't rest up and the jabs still worked fine and still are. They didn't tell me to rest when they injected my knees and shoulder or elbow so there must be two schools of thought, or maybe they know with me there is not point? :oops:

I do know if I do rest I get some stiff and hurt more and if I keep pushing it it is better for me. If I go stupid obviously it hurts. I think its a case of finding your own balance and doing what you and your bones find as a compromise.

Try not to worry about it all as that tenses you up and as Elna says it becomes a circle. I hope you can find a way to keep it all shut up and you get some much needed comfort. Cris x

mistywillow

skezier wrote:

Hi Debs,

Sorry its not going to well for you at the mo. I tend to do my own thing even if its not what I am told I should be doing....... I think if you find what works for you it is better than what they say will work for everyone.

The pain clinic doctor told me to take it easy as she knew I wouldn't rest up and the jabs still worked fine and still are. They didn't tell me to rest when they injected my knees and shoulder or elbow so there must be two schools of thought, or maybe they know with me there is not point? :oops:

I do know if I do rest I get some stiff and hurt more and if I keep pushing it it is better for me. If I go stupid obviously it hurts. I think its a case of finding your own balance and doing what you and your bones find as a compromise.

Try not to worry about it all as that tenses you up and as Elna says it becomes a circle. I hope you can find a way to keep it all shut up and you get some much needed comfort. Cris x

Hi Debs
It is really hard finding that balance. You know what works best for your own body. I tend to do little bits of different things which require different parts of the body. Ill do a job that needs sitting for a short while and then go down to the yard and do something there etc. It works for me. I am bad about resting up though and dont stop until everthing is so excriciating I actually cant bear to move anything. Then I lie on my heat pad which loosens everything up. Then i get stiff and painful.................


Love Gillx

woodbon

Hi I try and do little bits of all sorts and not too much of anything! The only thing is, life sometimes gets in the way! I'll be sitting watching TV or reading or out in the garden pulling up a few weeds, then I struggle to get up and feel really stiff and painful, only to look at my watch and find an hour or so has gone by! :oops: We went out for dinner on Saturday and when we came to leave my husband walked ahead and opened the door, leaving me holding on to the furniture until I staggered out! :oops: I wonder how many people thought I was drunK! :oops:

Getting the right balance is hard, I know, and if you find it tell me! Love Sue

mash65

thanks for all your replies.
seems like there no balance,just learn to adapt :roll:
you all have your own ways of coping& thats what ive got to do.
ive had a complete day off today,been out for a lovely meal & i drove there & back.
i did take straight to my bed when i got in & didnt get up until 7pm
but i do feel better today,my backs aching but my knees arent as bad.
so i think a few more days off,take to my bed when i feel like it,& forget the housework it can wait for the queen to visit is my answer think i'll have another day off tomorrow too
i dont know how you lot who work,run a house & look after little one cope.you deserve a medal,as do the rest of you for always being there for us.thanks debsx

ninakang

We've all got our own ways of coping and I'm sure that those of you who say they don't do "anything" while their partner cares for them are very much valued and loved by their partners and I'm sure you do things for your partners in turn that make their lives easier.

For instance, my sister has cerebral palsy and RA and has been wheelchair bound all her life and we've all been her carers (mum, dad, me and my brother). Yes, we do things for her but she also does as much as she possibly can for herself. Now mine and my brother's kids are older, she babysits them for us and they fetch and carry things for her and she supervises their homework (she LOVES to hear them read). When we were all younger, I remember her sitting patiently and waiting for things she asked for or needed and that was a great help in itself. She stays positive and calm and it's very rare we see her upset by anything which is a very good "grounder" for the rest of us.

So, for those of you who have carers, don't ever think you're a burden.

Nx

breane

Hi,Sorry to hear you are feeling low at the moment. I too find it difficult to balance things up.I do know I probably go the wrong way about it.If I have a reasonably good day,I tend to go all out to get all the jobs done which I have let slip for a few days including gardening.It's a great feeling at the end of the day to know I've got it all done but boy,do I suffer the following day.I've been away over the Bank Hols and found the rest did help,not all the usual things to do like washing and ironing clothes,shopping,cleaning,gardening etc.But now back home all the usual chores are waiting to be done.There must be a way to balance things but as yet I havn't found it! Sorry I can't be of more help.Hope all the messages will cheer you up.Try and have a good day. Breane.x