ridiculously fed up!

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kezzad
kezzad Non-active member Posts: 81
edited 25. Mar 2010, 13:15 in Living with Arthritis archive
sorry everyone just have to vent... im soooo tired with stupid fatigue at the mo. just got confirmation anti tnf have failed on my RA so going on rituximab in next few weeks (feel like nothing is ever going to work!) i know we all have a hard time with this it all just seems so unfair at the moment. I am 23 and diagnosed last year my boyfriend of 4 years recently left me for someone else as he couldnt cope with my illness anymore. Had to move back in with parents as cant handle it all on my own. Just feel so down and as if this cant be really happening to me. I was just about to start my life after uni with my boyfriend and i have lost it all, cant work as its so bad. What is the point in all this?! Does anyone else feel like they wont ever be happy or settle down with someone as i feel like no one will accept my condition if my boyfriend couldnt stick by me?! aargh... well i hope, although it is horrible for everyone, i am not alone!
thanks x

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  • snowball
    snowball Non-active member Posts: 3,465
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi Kezzard Sorry you are feeling down, i am suffering with fatigue and so i know how you feel. I was on anti tnf for my r/a but it didn't work so i have been on rituximab for a year which is better it can take a while to work so don't worry if you don't feel better striaght away. I've been to see my rheumy nurse today and they are thinking of taking me off rituximab and applying for funding for another drug, I know its hard to stay positive but there are allways new drugs comming out.
    If your boyfriend left you because of your arthritis then he isn't much of a decent person and i am sure that in time you will meet someone else you are still young and with the right drugs you might be able to work in the future. Good luck and let me know how you get on with your rituximab.
    Take care Julie xx
    ((((hugs)))) n xxxxx to ya all
  • fester
    fester Non-active member Posts: 98
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi kezzad,Sorry about the anti-tnf. i hope the next treatment does the job for you. Its difficult when a supposed loved one leaves you because of your illness but trust me your better off without him,would you want him staying with you out of pity..no i don't think so.

    Eventually someone will come into your life who will accept you for who you are 'warts and all' if you will excuse the pun. How do i know this? the same happened to me when i was 17 years old, thought a girl loved me despite my chronic arthritis, turned out i was wrong and that she told everyone she went out with me out of pity. At the time i hated her guts and wanted revenge not that i ever got it, but in the end she did me a favour, i eventually found someone who accepted me 'warts and all'.

    Though it probably does not feel like it at the moment trust me given time you will too.
    My very best wishes
    Steve
  • dorcas
    dorcas Member Posts: 3,516
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi kezzad,

    sorry you are having such a bad time of it. :( you've had a triple whammy to deal with and the combination is tough on you physically and emotionally. :roll:

    I'm no relationship guru but agree with what others have said that your ex wasn't much of a stayer leaving you as he did. At 23 you're sure to have opportunities to meet someone who will turn out to be that special person!

    You are right to move back in with your parents, even though I'm sure that was difficult, at least it will give you time to get back on meds that hopefully will help you. I know it does feel at times that nothing works...but we still have to keep trying don't we :?: the body seems to get used to the drugs that we pour into it but there are still options for you that your rheummy team are willing to follow up with you...so that's a positive. :D

    Living with arther is tough going and you have had to alter your future plans because of it, but fingers crossed you get the right meds to allow you to pick up the thread of your uni life again. :wink:

    With so much going on why not have a chat with the helpline :?:
    they are a great bunch (don't tell them that or they'll get big headed) and will talk things through with you. It does help honestly.
    :wink:

    Lots of ((((HUGS)))) Iris x
  • sanmar63
    sanmar63 Non-active member Posts: 117
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    kezzad wrote:
    sorry everyone just have to vent... im soooo tired with stupid fatigue at the mo. just got confirmation anti tnf have failed on my RA so going on rituximab in next few weeks (feel like nothing is ever going to work!) i know we all have a hard time with this it all just seems so unfair at the moment. I am 23 and diagnosed last year my boyfriend of 4 years recently left me for someone else as he couldnt cope with my illness anymore. Had to move back in with parents as cant handle it all on my own. Just feel so down and as if this cant be really happening to me. I was just about to start my life after uni with my boyfriend and i have lost it all, cant work as its so bad. What is the point in all this?! Does anyone else feel like they wont ever be happy or settle down with someone as i feel like no one will accept my condition if my boyfriend couldnt stick by me?! aargh... well i hope, although it is horrible for everyone, i am not alone!
    thanks x

    Hi Kezzad, your ex must be very shallow if your illness is the reason he left, and youre better off without him! :( Stick with your friends and family and accept any help they offer, but try not to be angry - Its no-ones fault that you are ill, and like the rest of us on here, you have to get on with life the best you can.
    Once your meds are sorted and you start to feel better, you'll realise what a total prat your ex is - and you'll find someone 10 times better than he'll ever be, its his loss. Think positive, love, Sandra xxx :)
  • kezzad
    kezzad Non-active member Posts: 81
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    thank you so much for your kind words it really is nice to know im not alone. Its horrible when people let you down when you need them most and like you say i guess he wasnt the man i thought he was to be so cruel like that. I am lucky that i have incredibly supportive family and friends so hopefully things will get better (just wish it didnt take so long! :(
    thanks again and if anyone has any advice on rituximab that would help, a bit scared about having to go into hospital for infusion! xx
  • snowball
    snowball Non-active member Posts: 3,465
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    kezzad wrote:
    thank you so much for your kind words it really is nice to know im not alone. Its horrible when people let you down when you need them most and like you say i guess he wasnt the man i thought he was to be so cruel like that. I am lucky that i have incredibly supportive family and friends so hopefully things will get better (just wish it didnt take so long! :(
    thanks again and if anyone has any advice on rituximab that would help, a bit scared about having to go into hospital for infusion! xx
    I was afraid when i had my first one but you probably wont be the only one having it and there will be medical staff there to over see your treatment. I was told i would feel tired for a few days after the infusion and i was but it does go away and hopefully you will feel the benefits soon. If you want to ask me anything about it you can pm me.

    Julie
    ((((hugs)))) n xxxxx to ya all
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi Keezad
    Hope I have spelt that right...I really hope you get the right treatment very soon, it will happen, it is a pain working your way through all these meds, but when you find the right one, it will be worth it.
    Has for your boyfriend, well, some people are like this, they just cant take it when people are not well.
    It may not seem it right now, but there are plenty of lovely people out there...and one day soon, who knows.
    We are always here for you, when you want to talk to us, and have a moan, and even a laugh...
    You take care
    Love
    Barbara xx
    Love
    Barbara
  • sharmaine
    sharmaine Non-active member Posts: 1,638
    edited 30. Nov -0001, 00:00
    Hi Kezzad

    Sorry to hear that you have RA at such a young age and then to lose your boyfriend (he's obviously not the one for you). I don't know much about RA - I have OA which is bad enough. I'm sure something will work soon it's a case of trial and error.

    It's nice that you have your parents to help out. When you're feeling better you'll be on your feet again with energy to face life again. You're young and will bounce back and eventually find a fab boyfriend.

    Sending you my warmest regards.

    Sharmaine

    kezzad wrote:
    sorry everyone just have to vent... im soooo tired with stupid fatigue at the mo. just got confirmation anti tnf have failed on my RA so going on rituximab in next few weeks (feel like nothing is ever going to work!) i know we all have a hard time with this it all just seems so unfair at the moment. I am 23 and diagnosed last year my boyfriend of 4 years recently left me for someone else as he couldnt cope with my illness anymore. Had to move back in with parents as cant handle it all on my own. Just feel so down and as if this cant be really happening to me. I was just about to start my life after uni with my boyfriend and i have lost it all, cant work as its so bad. What is the point in all this?! Does anyone else feel like they wont ever be happy or settle down with someone as i feel like no one will accept my condition if my boyfriend couldnt stick by me?! aargh... well i hope, although it is horrible for everyone, i am not alone!
    thanks x

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