Just been told I have to have THR at 48, and I'm scared....
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efleure
Non-active member Posts: 139
Hello to all on here. I had my appointment at the Orthopedic Clinic today, and was told my osteoarth in my hip is now so bad i should go on the waiting list immediately with a view of surgery in the next few months. I know it sounds stupid, but I'm terrified of this. I have lost my husband, my brother and my best friend in the last few years, and I am mother to twins of 10, and two older kids. I am phobic of dying during surgery or as a result of surgery, but realise if I am to have any quality of life with my younger kids I should have the surgery. I feel I cannot make any proper decision because of this problem, but cannot go on in such pain . Can anyone on here tell me what the op was really like, and how long you have to rely on others afterwards?? I'd be very grateful for any help. Thank you.
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Comments
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Hi,
all surgery does have risks but THR are one of the most successful and frequently done ops (I didn't make that up, I read it somewhere.)
I had my first hip replacement at 30 and am waiting for a hip op now now on the other leg - I'm 43. I'm hoping for a resurface, but if that is not possible they will perform a THR. I have been putting it off because of my longterm foster son who has autism ... I'm single, my parents are elderly and live a long way away - so I do know exactly where you are coming from.
I am having this op done now because I cant go on as I am. I struggle to walk, am constant pain epecially when standing and when I'm in bed at night. I was still really dreading the op and not wanting it (despite being so crippled,) and then I stumbled on this forum and started to read posts about people who had had THR ... and it helped me feel more positive about it.
Yes it is painful after - you have just had major surgery. Yes you are swollen etc and mobility is difficult at first - but that's no worse than how we both are now! The difference being - after a THR you improve, as we are now - we just get worse!
Recovery times vary - but people like us - tend to recover as quickly as our bodies allow - because we have great incentive! The type of replacement - cementless, cemented, glueless, glued etc affects the recovery time - after some you can weight bear the next day ... after some you can only partial weight bear and have to use crutches for longer. Your surgeon would be able to tell you more.
As to coping - last time I came home, my Dad who was younger then stayed with me a week or so, but was little help as he wanted to check I would be able to cope so he let me struggle ... The OT provided equipment to help. I had dom care coming in every other day to help me wash my leg, change my pressure stockings, wash my hair and make my bed. You would need to do online shopping and someone would need to take the kids to and from school. 10 year olds are remarkably resilent - and very capable. They are probably used to helping you out now already. Make sure they know what to expect - so they realise you will need a few months to recover. If the op/recovery time is over the summer hols, might be worth investigating summer activities/schemes etc they could access part of the time to keep them busy.
Hope this helps.
Speedalong
Feel free to PM me.I have had OA since mid twenties. It affects my hips and knees. I had a THR on the left aged 30 and now have a resurface-replacement on the right - done May 2010.0 -
Hello and welcome to the forum efleure.
You have had such a lot to deal with in your life with such massive loss, I do hope you have family and friends around to support you and the children?.
I can understand your fear of surgery and how this is influencing any decision you make about having the THR . You do need time to think this through and yes to get more information and advice on what to expect with a THR.....and reassurance about the issues or anxieties you have with surgery.
I personally haven't had a THR but I have had six operations and have always been well looked after both pre and post op and benefited hugely from having surgery. I will be having a wrist replacement op in June this year too.
There are lots of peeps here who have had THRs and I'm sure they will respond to your post with advice and comments from their own experience that you will find helpful.
You could also phone our helpline to talk through how you are feeling and your concerns; they are very helpful and it can make a difference to speak to someone in confidence who is not a family member...the number is at the top of the page.
My first husband died when my children were very small so I understand how you feel and how you carry the weight of worry in relation to your children.......we are here for you and will support you any way we can.
take care...sending you ((((HUGS)))) and strength.
Iris x0 -
speedalong wrote:Hi,
all surgery does have risks but THR are one of the most successful and frequently done ops (I didn't make that up, I read it somewhere.)
I had my first hip replacement at 30 and am waiting for a hip op now now on the other leg - I'm 43. I'm hoping for a resurface, but if that is not possible they will perform a THR. I have been putting it off because of my longterm foster son who has autism ... I'm single, my parents are elderly and live a long way away - so I do know exactly where you are coming from.
I am having this op done now because I cant go on as I am. I struggle to walk, am constant pain epecially when standing and when I'm in bed at night. I was still really dreading the op and not wanting it (despite being so crippled,) and then I stumbled on this forum and started to read posts about people who had had THR ... and it helped me feel more positive about it.
Yes it is painful after - you have just had major surgery. Yes you are swollen etc and mobility is difficult at first - but that's no worse than how we both are now! The difference being - after a THR you improve, as we are now - we just get worse!
Recovery times vary - but people like us - tend to recover as quickly as our bodies allow - because we have great incentive! The type of replacement - cementless, cemented, glueless, glued etc affects the recovery time - after some you can weight bear the next day ... after some you can only partial weight bear and have to use crutches for longer. Your surgeon would be able to tell you more.
As to coping - last time I came home, my Dad who was younger then stayed with me a week or so, but was little help as he wanted to check I would be able to cope so he let me struggle ... The OT provided equipment to help. I had dom care coming in every other day to help me wash my leg, change my pressure stockings, wash my hair and make my bed. You would need to do online shopping and someone would need to take the kids to and from school. 10 year olds are remarkably resilent - and very capable. They are probably used to helping you out now already. Make sure they know what to expect - so they realise you will need a few months to recover. If the op/recovery time is over the summer hols, might be worth investigating summer activities/schemes etc they could access part of the time to keep them busy.
Hope this helps.
Speedalong
Feel free to PM me.
Thank you so much Speedalong. Sorry to hear you are having so much trouble with your hips. You obviously understand how I'm feeling, and that really helps..I know you're right about the getting worse . I'm waiting for an appointment with the pain clinic to have an injection to see if that helps for a bit, but need to make a decision to go on the list now, or next year, as I need it to coincide with the school holidays ideally. Will go to bed now and try not to think about it for a day or two! Again, thank you so much, and I hope you have a good night's sleep.0 -
dorcas wrote:Hello and welcome to the forum efleure.
You have had such a lot to deal with in your life with such massive loss, I do hope you have family and friends around to support you and the children?.
I can understand your fear of surgery and how this is influencing any decision you make about having the THR . You do need time to think this through and yes to get more information and advice on what to expect with a THR.....and reassurance about the issues or anxieties you have with surgery.
I personally haven't had a THR but I have had six operations and have always been well looked after both pre and post op and benefited hugely from having surgery. I will be having a wrist replacement op in June this year too.
There are lots of peeps here who have had THRs and I'm sure they will respond to your post with advice and comments from their own experience that you will find helpful.
You could also phone our helpline to talk through how you are feeling and your concerns; they are very helpful and it can make a difference to speak to someone in confidence who is not a family member...the number is at the top of the page.
My first husband died when my children were very small so I understand how you feel and how you carry the weight of worry in relation to your children.......we are here for you and will support you any way we can.
take care...sending you ((((HUGS)))) and strength.
Iris x
Thank you very much Iris for the welcome, and kind words. I'm sorry to hear of the loss of your first husband and all your ops. I do have older kids who are wonderful, but who still need me to be mum, as their dad died a couple of years ago, and they have no one else. I will take your advice and maybe speak to someone about my fears, and not rush into a decision, although I feel if i leave it too long, I'll frighten myself out of doing it. Thank you again for the lovely message. Good night, and sleep well.0 -
Please remember we are here for you so post any time......
We may have diverse backgrounds but our shared experience of living and coping with arther binds us together as a community and gives us strength; support and understanding is what the forum is good at!
Please keep in touch and let us know what you decide to do about the THR.......we do care.
love and (((HUGS))) to you and your family.
Iris x0 -
Hi there
Everyone is very scared to have an operation as it is the unknown. The hip op will give you a new lease of life and if you are frightened of dying on the operation table you can have a hip op without a general anaesthetic so you are "awake" during that time. Without the anaesthetic patients say they they recover faster. I am one of those that prefers to be "put out" but that is my preference as I do not suffer at all from GA afterwards, nor do I have the same fear as you in that way.
Lots of people on here have had hip ops, both with GA and without and no doubt will be answering your thread.
I wish you well,
Luv
Elna xThe happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.
If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.0 -
elnafinn wrote:Hi there
Everyone is very scared to have an operation as it is the unknown. The hip op will give you a new lease of life and if you are frightened of dying on the operation table you can have a hip op without a general anaesthetic so you are "awake" during that time. Without the anaesthetic patients say they they recover faster. I am one of those that prefers to be "put out" but that is my preference as I do not suffer at all from GA afterwards, nor do I have the same fear as you in that way.
Lots of people on here have had hip ops, both with GA and without and no doubt will be answering your thread.
I wish you well,
Luv
Elna x
Thank you very much for your message Elna, and Iris. I have felt so alone with this damned arthritis. To be told I'm so young to have this condition hasn't helped, but after reading all the posts on here, I realise I'm not alone and there is hope and people on here really understand what's it like living with constant pain. I don't like to talk to friends or even family about it . I really appreciate the warm welcome.
After reading lots of posts on this forum, I think I'm going to bite the bullet and agree to go on the waiting list for this year. All my problems and worries will not be any better next year, but it will be another year of me limping and staggering about. I will discuss the epidural option with the consultant, good advice Elna. I hope you have a pain free day ladies.
Liz x0 -
hi hugs for you i am 48 as well and having probs with oa in knees and hips lol not got as far as you with them but know it will come i do feel for you as know anyone would be scared and with the responsabilitys you have it a worry but try to think how much better it will be after good luck valval0
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I think I'm going to bite the bullet and agree to go on the waiting list for this year.
Hi Liz
I am so relieved to hear that you are feeling more upbeat about the whole scenario now. Keep on posting as often or as little as you choose, there will always be someone replying, offering advice/sympanthy.
Great idea to agree to having your name go on the waiting list for this year. You will have time to ask more questions as and when they pop into your mind and get your head around it all. When a date comes through, you have three choices, get it all done and dusted, back out, or delay the operation. If you are not on a list, you will not have the option to go forward or not.
Here's hoping to see your name around the zones,
Luv
Elna x(())The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.
If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.0 -
Hi Liz, its frightening being told that you need this surgery but I agree with all thats been said above , your quality of life will increase tenfold after recovery... I had my first THR done 5yrs ago and the relief from the pain was instant and lasting... I took about 6wks to get back to full time work but was home in 5days with some help around the house for a couple of weeks and I was walking without a stick .. after that I could manage most things apart from putting the cats bowl down (no bending) but we overcame most things.. also got a raised toilet seat, long shoe horn
grabber and over bath seat from occupational therapy..
I also would advocate the epidural , I had one with some sedation so I really didn't know a thing about it but didn't have to have the General.. my recovery was good and I had no nausea after the surgery....
Good luck and please come back with any questions while you are waiting ...Our worst times are always our best lessons.0 -
I really wouldn`t try to give any advice regarding your THR Liz, because mine was a TKR, and obviously there are vast differences.
What I would say, however, is, given your very real fears, you may want to consider the epidural, without sedation. This is what I chose, for reasons not dissimilar to yours. If you have the epidural with sedation, you will benefit from having no nausea, and a quicker recovery time, but you will still be out of it throughout the entire op.
I wasn`t afraid of not coming round from the op, but I was very afraid of handing over all control. This was purely psychological, and I won`t bore you with the reasons. Suffice to say, they were very real, and I believe I dealt with them in the best way for me. With just an epidural, you will hear things, although this can be alleviated by listening to music. You will, however, see and feel absolutely nothing. I was monitored every second, and quite honestly, didn`t feel like I was having a major operation. We actually chatted and laughed throughout. All of this added to a very quick recovery in my case, and an early "release".
If you do decide to go onto the list, always keep in mind that YOU are in control of what happens. It won`t be written in stone, and you can always change your mind. I truly hope you won`t though Liz, because I feel you know, deep down, that it`s what is right for you..........I wish you peace of mind to make your choice......Ange.0 -
Hi Liz
Sorry to hear about your hip. You have had a lot to contend with over the last few years, and now this!
I'm due to have my right hip replaced in 4 weeks time and I've also been having sleepless nights worrying about possible complications and how I'll cope at home afterwards... I can't give you any practical advice yet, but I would say, from my experience, don't leave it too long.. X-rays showed mine was at the 'severe' stage 18 months ago and I have been putting off having it done - such that I am now having to use 2 walking sticks and my mobillity is currently very limited. I wish I had had it done sooner (as everyone advised!!).
I have heard nothing but good things about how people feel after the operation - how it's wonderful not to have the pain any more and how it has 'revolutionised' peoples' lives. After various 'wobbles' over the last few months when I considered cancelling the operation (!), I'm really looking forward to getting it done now and being able to enjoy this summer - relatively pain-free and, eventually, without my sticks!
All good wishes.
Marion x0 -
Hi Liz.
i had a thr 14 years ago. and its still working well. i go to the gym twice a week and i go to the hydrotherapy pool.
i olso have a tkr thats 5 years and working well.
try not to worry about the op its not as bad as you think it will be our minds play tricks with us and
we worry more.
i hope i've helped a bit.
joan xxtake care
joan xx0 -
Hi Efleure
They do thousands of these operations every year so don't worry too much - you'll be fine. My MIL has had both her hips done (in the space of 11 months) and she's a changed woman - there's no stopping her. The first 6 weeks after your operation you need to be careful - no lifting; hoovering; making of beds etc. Do you have any friends etc who can rally around to help?
I had a TKR 7 weeks ago and to be honest I was terrified! This will make such a difference to my life and mobility.
I'm sure someone will come along with great advice for you. When my MIL was incapacitated we all mucked in to help out.
Take care.
Sharmaine.efleure wrote:Hello to all on here. I had my appointment at the Orthopedic Clinic today, and was told my osteoarth in my hip is now so bad i should go on the waiting list immediately with a view of surgery in the next few months. I know it sounds stupid, but I'm terrified of this. I have lost my husband, my brother and my best friend in the last few years, and I am mother to twins of 10, and two older kids. I am phobic of dying during surgery or as a result of surgery, but realise if I am to have any quality of life with my younger kids I should have the surgery. I feel I cannot make any proper decision because of this problem, but cannot go on in such pain . Can anyone on here tell me what the op was really like, and how long you have to rely on others afterwards?? I'd be very grateful for any help. Thank you.0 -
Hi Liz,
With 2 autistic kids I was terrified of dying as who would care for them like me.Also have a daughter with chronic constipation who tells me she loves me every day.Plus 2 big grown up girls.
I opted for a spinal as I wanted to be awake and aware.My THR went really well and back home within 7 days.
I was lucky to have my 2 big girls staying to help-OH would never have managed alone.It is a worry I know.
I found the pain had gone almost straight away and it hasnt come back!Life is so much easier.
I was 46 when had it done and another THR is due but I want to leave it a s long as I can,
Best wishes
ElizabethNever be bullied into silence.
Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
Accept no ones definition of your life
Define yourself........
Harvey Fierstein0 -
I am a bit overwhelmed by the very kind and helpful advice and best wishes from all of you on here. Thank you so much. I feel much more optimistic about the whole thing after going on this forum. Ange, I am thinking about the epidural, and will discuss it with the consultant. Will the decision be up to me??? I think it's the putting off and fretting about this op that's the problem. I think, hope, that once I make up my mind at last, it'll be easier to deal with. I feel for all of you, and Marion, I know exactly what you're going through, but good for you finally making the decision. Thank you again to all of you who replied. It does help. I will post again once I've seen the consultant. x0
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tkachev wrote:Hi Liz,
With 2 autistic kids I was terrified of dying as who would care for them like me.Also have a daughter with chronic constipation who tells me she loves me every day.Plus 2 big grown up girls.
I opted for a spinal as I wanted to be awake and aware.My THR went really well and back home within 7 days.
I was lucky to have my 2 big girls staying to help-OH would never have managed alone.It is a worry I know.
I found the pain had gone almost straight away and it hasnt come back!Life is so much easier.
I was 46 when had it done and another THR is due but I want to leave it a s long as I can,
Best wishes
Elizabeth
Hi Elizabeth, your case sounds a lot like mine.You obviously have alot on your plate without all this business so I feel for you...my other hip is starting to ache, and am trying to ignore it! but realise I'll probably need that done in the future...Thanks for the advice about the epidural. I think if I can have that at least that cancels out my biggest worry...no doubt I'll find another one to fixate on soon...Hoping you're not in too much pain, and thanks.x0 -
Yes Liz, you will be allowed to make the choice with regards to the epidural. In fact, most surgeons seem to prefer this method nowadays, as research has shown that recovery is quicker.
If I can help with anything else, feel free to message me.......Ange.0 -
Hi, didn't know until joined the forum that THR are often done without a GA. When I had my first done 13 years ago I had a GA and an epidural ... the epidural was to help with post operative pain. I'm not sure what I would prefer - can see the pros and cons. I
SpeedalongI have had OA since mid twenties. It affects my hips and knees. I had a THR on the left aged 30 and now have a resurface-replacement on the right - done May 2010.0 -
speedalong wrote:Hi, didn't know until joined the forum that THR are often done without a GA. When I had my first done 13 years ago I had a GA and an epidural ... the epidural was to help with post operative pain. I'm not sure what I would prefer - can see the pros and cons. I
Speedalong
I agree that there are pros and cons but as my biggest fear, so far, is not coming round or a complication from the GA, I'm starting to veer towards the epidural. Another probably stupid fear is that I can't tolerate morphine, and wondered if any of you who had kindly avised me on here had the op without this painkiller for the pain afterwards?? Thanks .0
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