help!

03darhum
03darhum Member Posts: 72
edited 23. Feb 2011, 03:30 in Young people's community
Hi
I am 19 and newly diagnosed with RA after waiting three years no less, see i don’t exactly understand this all i know is that I get pain in my hip, legs and fingers its been worse this winter and even with the steroid injections and my other pain relief I still have trouble sleeping this is seriously affecting my collage work and what I can do in a day .
The other thing that I am having trouble with I the looks I get from people It makes me angry that people don’t understand also in collage a lot of the time I feel singled out because there is a lot of things I struggle with, a lot of the time it gets me down because I can’t help but think about what I “used to be able to do” am I being stupid? And is there any advice anyone can give me about dealing with RA.
anything is helpful and all advice would be gratefully received thanks
:smile:

Comments

  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Darham...

    I'm not exactly a young person.. i'm 31...
    I read your story though and i just wanted to drop you a reply...
    You have come to the right place for support and advice and here you will realise you are not on your own and that there are others in the same or similar situations to yourself..
    I'm prob not the best person to help you as i have only been suffering since sep and have no diagnosis, but i do kbow your pain an dthe feeling of feeling different and looking at the things we were once able to do... it's hard .. but it will get easier in time... it's about adapting and knowing your limits.. hard this may be at times...
    The ppl that give you looks or comment are just shallow minded and have NO understanding of how you feel, so try( as hard as it may be) and not let it get you down... if they pull faces.. just politely smile an be on your merry way..
    There is also a helpline on the forum, maybe they can advise you more.. and there are plenty of lovely people hear who will listen and guide you if they can..

    Wish you well

    Tracy..xxx
  • 03darhum
    03darhum Member Posts: 72
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    thank you honstly any advise i can get is great at the moment well because i am learning about it alll at the moment, i find it realy hard to decide what i should spend my energy on because well for one I am rather stubborn and too i have to look after my brother and sister and do cleaning as parents work night and with collage on top I DONT HAVE A CLUE what to do :smile: is there any advice you could give that could help me with this?
    ow and you can call me darren :smile: thanks
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Darren...

    Yeah it is hard to know your limits and learning to work with how your body is feeling can be hard..
    Don't mean to be rude or pry, but do your parents know how you are feeling???
    For me personally i have now learnt too slow down(was always on the go) am currently off work so it easier for me to be able to relax on a bad day.. for you it may not be as easy cause of college.. learn to pace yourself,, if you not feeling too good (bad day)then you really need to listen to your body as you could end up making it worse for yourself.. you will prob find on the gd days that you will rush round like a headless chicken getting everything done that you couldn't previously do.. but i find that i suffer for this after too..
    It really is about finding the balance and if your parents are aware of how you are feeling then maybe you can work something out together to take some of the pressure off you, so you can focus on college and looking after yourself..

    Hope that helps a bit..

    Tracy
    xxxxx
  • 03darhum
    03darhum Member Posts: 72
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    yes it does :) and realy understand what you mean about rushing round like a headless chicken and feel worse after it, i do regrate playing football today usally i can do it, so me being my stubborn self thought ow i will give it a try :grin:
    dam my stubboness!

    on the thing about the parents well its hard to explain to them how i feel and also it pretty much hard to change it because they both have to work espacilly after since this new goverment has come in.

    if u support them sorry lol i just dont like them prefer labour :grin:

    thanks tracy
    darren
  • 03darhum
    03darhum Member Posts: 72
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    i mean usally cnt do football realy need to look at my spelling :smile:
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Darren don't worry bout your spelling luvie.. i can understand what you saying...
    I know where your coming from in regards to your parents and working and that.. i bet you feel like you don't want to burden them with your worries as they have there own,,, but you do need to look after yourself and i'm sure your parents would rather know than to realise you are finding things difficult at the mo..
    I'm a mom and i would rather my daughter cam to me and told me how she was feeling rather than bottle it up...
    I don't think you should be dealing with this on your own, how about other close family members or friends.. ,maybe they could help?? what do u think??
    I don't do politics so u won't offend me lol...

    xx
  • 03darhum
    03darhum Member Posts: 72
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    there is one friend who has been coming to my recent appoiment for the ra and my other health problems, she is like a sister and also i am talking to my collage to see if they can help me with my exam stuff as i have missed a lot lesson because of my appioments and there sorting out free taxis for me because i live just less than an hour away to were i go.

    darren :smile:
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Nice that you have a gd friend like that and she is being very supportive.. you want to hold on to her lol...xxx gd friends hard to find...
    It's gd that you have spoke to the college too.. sounds like they will be a great help too,
    So finally the last thing u should do is talk to your parents...maybe with yourfriend there if that helps.. i really think in the long run speaking to your parents will be beneficial..

    Darren i think you are doing a great job already and you are starting to adapt and realise things... you should be proud of yourself.. take a look back at what you are achieving at the moment n u will see what a great job you are already doing without even realising it...xxx
  • 03darhum
    03darhum Member Posts: 72
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    thanks :grin: not sure about the girlfriend thing though lol unforntally for me she has a boyfriend
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Darren..

    sorry didn't mean as gf.. meant gd friends are hard to find an you want to hold on to her... don't ruin your friendship ... thast a no no lol.... :grin:
  • 03darhum
    03darhum Member Posts: 72
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    yes i know, and i read the message wrong swear i am lossing it
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Don't worry Darren lol :grin: ... i'm always loosing it..

    I'm sure it's the meds ... lol...
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Darren :smile:

    Welcome to the forum. I am sorry to read that you have had to wait three years for a diagnosis and are very understandably in a turmoil about your RA and how it is affecting you, your college/family life and so on.

    Have you thought about phoning the helplines on 0808 800 4050. Many people on this forum and others have been helped greatly by doing this. They are a wonderful, dedicated, extremely knowledgeable team who are there to help all of us. It is good to talk and a problem shared is a problem halved.

    I do hope you feel able to give them a call tomorrow.

    Look after yourself,

    Elna x
  • 03darhum
    03darhum Member Posts: 72
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    lol tracy thats a great excuss might use that at collage lol

    and thanks elna will try that tomorow :smile:
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    03darhum wrote:
    lol tracy thats a great excuss might use that at collage lol

    and thanks elna will try that tomorow :smile:

    Hi Darren,

    I am pleased to hear that. I know they will be able to give you help, advice and guidance.

    Elna x
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Let us know how u get on Darren..

    Take care..
  • 03darhum
    03darhum Member Posts: 72
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    ye will do and thanks for the help
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    No worries Darren...

    Not that i helped much lol... feel free to chat anytime.. there all a great bunch here.. xx
  • loopylou94
    loopylou94 Member Posts: 24
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hey
    I'm 16 and I've recently been diagnosed with a different type of arthritis but I have seen my dad deal with RA for 8 years. The best thing that ive found for the pain is cold packs. They ease all of the pressure and the inflamitary. In regards to feeling different i know exactly what you mean i have recently started sixth form and when i am having a really bad day and my hand arent working or my knees are playing up then i feel really isolated and my friendds help me but i feel like everyone looks if i need help to get up if ive been sat on the floor ar i need a bottle opening. Although i try and stay focused on the good days. Also with not havingability to do everything your friends are doing its really furstrating I know, when everyone else your age is able to do more than you. I keep thinking about what i used to be able to do and all i want to do is be able to do the stuff that everyone else can do. But just try and do things with your friends that you know you both you and your friends can do like go to the cinema and things like that. Don't let it get you down. Keep smiling :grin:
    xxxxx

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