A Test for Men
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NinaKKang
Member Posts: 663
This is a bit rude but very funny. I was first sent this via email years ago, when the whole email and internet thing started and I came across it again today. Hope you enjoy it:
In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a. Lovemaking
b. Screwing
c. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town
You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b. Your blood-test results
c. Five tequila slammers
You time your orgasm so that:
a. Your partner climaxes first
b. You both climax simultaneously
c. You don't miss Sportscenter
Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a. Healthy, creative love-play
b. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to
c. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need to ever find out about
Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
a. The best part of the experience
b. The second best part of the experience
c. $100 extra
Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
a. No concern of yours
b. Not a problem, she can join your gym
c. A conservative estimate
You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a. A myth
b. An oxymoron
c. A Moron
Foreplay is to sex as:
a. Appetizer is to entree
b. Primer is to paint
c. A long line is to an amusement park ride
Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
a. "I hope we can still be friends."
b. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c. "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."
A woman who is uncomfortable watching you ****:
a. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b. Is uptight and a waste of time
c. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
I think you're in trouble if most of your answers were C
Nxx
In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a. Lovemaking
b. Screwing
c. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town
You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b. Your blood-test results
c. Five tequila slammers
You time your orgasm so that:
a. Your partner climaxes first
b. You both climax simultaneously
c. You don't miss Sportscenter
Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a. Healthy, creative love-play
b. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to
c. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need to ever find out about
Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
a. The best part of the experience
b. The second best part of the experience
c. $100 extra
Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
a. No concern of yours
b. Not a problem, she can join your gym
c. A conservative estimate
You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a. A myth
b. An oxymoron
c. A Moron
Foreplay is to sex as:
a. Appetizer is to entree
b. Primer is to paint
c. A long line is to an amusement park ride
Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
a. "I hope we can still be friends."
b. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c. "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."
A woman who is uncomfortable watching you ****:
a. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b. Is uptight and a waste of time
c. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place
I think you're in trouble if most of your answers were C
Nxx
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Comments
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Oh...Think I am in Real Trouble...coz All My answers were C ROFLMAO0
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:shock: I think a lot of honest people would answer the same - the last question makes me laugh out loud every time I read it!
Nxx0 -
did love the last one as wellval0
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Reading this post makes me feel like I've lived a sheltered life? Not sure now! I'm sat hear scratching my head...Have I logged on to the right forum...yes I have... it must be another way of coping with Arthur...I'll try that one? Oh I'm lost...I give up...I'll read it again tomorrow with my glasses on. haha John x0
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Nice one , Del.
Elna xThe happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.
If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.0 -
Steady on Nina!!!!. :oops:0
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I'm sorry it was a bit rude for some people, but I did say so at the beginning! I'm glad others liked it though - like a lot of stuff, not to everyone's tastes!
DEL! Talk about below the belt! Why are you posting on here anyway - go enjoy your holiday! LOL
Nxx0 -
Loved it! Thanks Nina, that has started my day off in fine style! DDHave you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben0
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Oh Dear I can feel my knuckles scraping the floor!!!!!
I emailed it to my mate at work, she fell of her chair laughing.. :shock:0 -
Oooooh Matron!!!!.0
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well nina I just your questions to the other half and guess where is sleeping tonight :eek:
Thank you for making us both laugh x0 -
I'm much too young and innocent to understand this thread :oops: :oops:0
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Dugg104 wrote:Oh Dear I can feel my knuckles scraping the floor!!!!!
I emailed it to my mate at work, she fell of her chair laughing.. :shock:
Sorry at first glance I thought you typed Oh dear I can feel my knickers scraping the floor.
:eek:0 -
I will not show it to my gf it will give her ideas above my pay grade
LL!0 -
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