A Test for Men

Options
NinaKKang
NinaKKang Member Posts: 663
edited 2. Aug 2011, 15:33 in Community Chit-chat archive
This is a bit rude but very funny. I was first sent this via email years ago, when the whole email and internet thing started and I came across it again today. Hope you enjoy it:

In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
a. Lovemaking
b. Screwing
c. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town

You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
a. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship
b. Your blood-test results
c. Five tequila slammers

You time your orgasm so that:
a. Your partner climaxes first
b. You both climax simultaneously
c. You don't miss Sportscenter

Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
a. Healthy, creative love-play
b. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to
c. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need to ever find out about

Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is:
a. The best part of the experience
b. The second best part of the experience
c. $100 extra

Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is:
a. No concern of yours
b. Not a problem, she can join your gym
c. A conservative estimate

You think today's sensitive, caring man is:
a. A myth
b. An oxymoron
c. A Moron

Foreplay is to sex as:
a. Appetizer is to entree
b. Primer is to paint
c. A long line is to an amusement park ride

Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship?
a. "I hope we can still be friends."
b. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep."
c. "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."

A woman who is uncomfortable watching you ****:
a. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy
b. Is uptight and a waste of time
c. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place


I think you're in trouble if most of your answers were C :D

Nxx

Comments

  • sbolam
    sbolam Member Posts: 374
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Oh...Think I am in Real Trouble...coz All My answers were C ROFLMAO :lol::lol:
    04_pain.jpg
  • NinaKKang
    NinaKKang Member Posts: 663
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    :shock: I think a lot of honest people would answer the same - the last question makes me laugh out loud every time I read it!
    Nxx
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    did love the last one as well
    val
  • Compositor
    Compositor Member Posts: 122
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Reading this post makes me feel like I've lived a sheltered life? Not sure now! I'm sat hear scratching my head...Have I logged on to the right forum...yes I have... it must be another way of coping with Arthur...I'll try that one? Oh I'm lost...I give up...I'll read it again tomorrow with my glasses on. haha John x
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    :lol: Nice one , Del.

    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Steady on Nina!!!!. :oops:
  • NinaKKang
    NinaKKang Member Posts: 663
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    I'm sorry it was a bit rude for some people, but I did say so at the beginning! I'm glad others liked it though - like a lot of stuff, not to everyone's tastes!

    DEL! Talk about below the belt! Why are you posting on here anyway - go enjoy your holiday! LOL

    Nxx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Loved it! Thanks Nina, that has started my day off in fine style! :lol: DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • Dugg104
    Dugg104 Member Posts: 8
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Oh Dear I can feel my knuckles scraping the floor!!!!!

    I emailed it to my mate at work, she fell of her chair laughing.. :shock:
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Oooooh Matron!!!!.
  • julie47
    julie47 Member Posts: 6,041
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    well nina I just your questions to the other half and guess where is sleeping tonight :eek: :lol:

    Thank you for making us both laugh x
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    I'm much too young and innocent to understand this thread :oops: :oops:
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • limpinglenny
    limpinglenny Bots Posts: 14
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    Dugg104 wrote:
    Oh Dear I can feel my knuckles scraping the floor!!!!!

    I emailed it to my mate at work, she fell of her chair laughing.. :shock:

    Sorry at first glance I thought you typed Oh dear I can feel my knickers scraping the floor.

    :eek:
  • limpinglenny
    limpinglenny Bots Posts: 14
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    I will not show it to my gf it will give her ideas above my pay grade :)

    LL!
  • NinaKKang
    NinaKKang Member Posts: 663
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    :D
Back to top

Categories