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stickywicket
Member Posts: 27,719
SIGNS OF INSANITY?
Not to be removed from Crewe station (on a luggage trolley at Singapore airport)
Wanted: man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
Waitresses required for breakfast.
Warning: Do not drive whilst using this product (on a packet of condoms)
It is advisory to be two people during assembly (Instructions on Swedish flat pack furniture.)
Warning. Remove child before folding (On a pushchair)
Horse manure: 50p per pre-packaged bag. 20P Do it yourself.
Due to increasing problems with litter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.
Please do not lean on the widow.
When you can't see this sign the river is under water.
Quicksand: any person passing this point will be drowned by order of the district council.
Not to be removed from Crewe station (on a luggage trolley at Singapore airport)
Wanted: man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.
Waitresses required for breakfast.
Warning: Do not drive whilst using this product (on a packet of condoms)
It is advisory to be two people during assembly (Instructions on Swedish flat pack furniture.)
Warning. Remove child before folding (On a pushchair)
Horse manure: 50p per pre-packaged bag. 20P Do it yourself.
Due to increasing problems with litter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.
Please do not lean on the widow.
When you can't see this sign the river is under water.
Quicksand: any person passing this point will be drowned by order of the district council.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright
Steven Wright
0
Comments
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Thank you0 -
Thanks Sticky I needed that, can't make up my mind which one is the best xxSmile a while and while you smile
smile another smile and soon there
will be miles and miles of smiles
just because you smiled I wish your
day is full of Smiles0 -
One can never underestimate the humerous side of people's battles with language. Thanks Sticky, a laugh was needed and you provided in style.
My favourite book when younger was a compendium of newspaper mis-prints. I clearly remember this one: 'Thieves as escape as police ponce!' The mental image that provides is utterly delicious. DDHave you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben0 -
Thank you stickywicket, those were wonderful and I really needed a laugh this morning0
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Brilliant...and can I say we have the horse manure sign at a farm on our rd...it always makes me laugh.... it doesn't take much...Love
Barbara0 -
Apologies: an extra 'as' crept into my last post. Blast. DDHave you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben0
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Excellent Sticky I particularly like the "quicksand" one
DD, I like yours too0 -
And an unwanted 'o' into the funny bone as well DD0 -
Hmm, don't think I've got the hang of doing quotes.....ah well hope you get the gist.0
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stickywicket wrote:SIGNS OF INSANITY?
Warning: Do not drive whilst using this product (on a packet of condoms)
Hilarious, the mind boggles
Kath0
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