Wear a smile - one size fits all

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stickywicket
stickywicket Member Posts: 27,716
edited 2. Jul 2013, 13:57 in Community Chit-chat archive
SIGNS OF INSANITY?

Not to be removed from Crewe station (on a luggage trolley at Singapore airport)

Wanted: man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

Waitresses required for breakfast.

Warning: Do not drive whilst using this product (on a packet of condoms)

It is advisory to be two people during assembly (Instructions on Swedish flat pack furniture.)

Warning. Remove child before folding (On a pushchair)

Horse manure: 50p per pre-packaged bag. 20P Do it yourself.

Due to increasing problems with litter louts and vandals we must ask anyone with relatives buried in the graveyard to do their best to keep them in order.

Please do not lean on the widow.

When you can't see this sign the river is under water.

Quicksand: any person passing this point will be drowned by order of the district council.
If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
Steven Wright

Comments

  • maria09
    maria09 Member Posts: 1,905
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    :lol::lol::lol::lol:
    Thank you
  • villier
    villier Member Posts: 4,426
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    :lol::lol::lol: Thanks Sticky I needed that, can't make up my mind which one is the best xx
    Smile a while and while you smile
    smile another smile and soon there
    will be miles and miles of smiles
    just because you smiled I wish your
    day is full of Smiles
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    :lol: One can never underestimate the humerous side of people's battles with language. Thanks Sticky, a laugh was needed and you provided in style.

    My favourite book when younger was a compendium of newspaper mis-prints. I clearly remember this one: 'Thieves as escape as police ponce!' The mental image that provides is utterly delicious. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • Boomer13
    Boomer13 Member Posts: 1,931
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thank you stickywicket, those were wonderful and I really needed a laugh this morning :lol:
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Brilliant...and can I say we have the horse manure sign at a farm on our rd...it always makes me laugh.... :lol::lol: it doesn't take much... :D
    Love
    Barbara
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Apologies: an extra 'as' crept into my last post. Blast. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • Numptydumpty
    Numptydumpty Member Posts: 6,417
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Excellent Sticky :lol: I particularly like the "quicksand" one :lol:

    DD, I like yours too :lol:
  • daffy2
    daffy2 Member Posts: 1,636
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Apologies: an extra 'as' crept into my last post. Blast. DD

    And an unwanted 'o' into the funny bone as well DD
  • daffy2
    daffy2 Member Posts: 1,636
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hmm, don't think I've got the hang of doing quotes.....ah well hope you get the gist.
  • kathbee
    kathbee Member Posts: 934
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    stickywicket wrote:
    SIGNS OF INSANITY?

    Warning: Do not drive whilst using this product (on a packet of condoms)

    Hilarious, the mind boggles
    Kath
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