Being called a fraud!

As5567
As5567 Member Posts: 665
edited 31. Jul 2013, 08:57 in Living with Arthritis archive
Today while at the hospital I was approached by an old woman, she knocked on my window so I rolled it down to see what was up. She started to shout abuse at me, calling me a fraud, telling me I should be ashamed of my self etc etc. At this point I just shown her my blue badge pointing towards it calmly and telling her I'm not a fraud and for her to get her facts right. After mumbling something she walked off and back to her car.

It really annoys me when people call me a fraud, I think people really need to get educated and understand that disabilities can affect anyone at any age, but when people say stuff like that to me it really does make my question myself should I be parking in disabled spots. Because of this I was stupid enough to move my car and park in the multistory car park...what a stupid idea that was. It's safe to say I should use my blue badge and park in the disabled parking.
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Comments

  • jillyb1
    jillyb1 Member Posts: 1,725
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    If ignorance is bliss , there must be a lot of very happy people around ! I still get this reaction and I'm nearly 60 and a wheelchair user . You know your limitations better than anyone else does . Take no notice and do what's right and beneficial for you and yours .
    Jillyb
  • ouchpotato
    ouchpotato Member Posts: 453
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I have this too. I don't 'look' disabled, and indeed more days than not I'm almost as able bodied as the next person, but on bad days I have to use a cane. I have a disabled bus pass and on a bad day I will sit in the seats reserved for disabled and elderly people. Without fail, because I am 'only' 44 and appear 'normal' elderly women (never the men strangely) will tut and comment that I am not giving up my seat to them when I have just seen them running for the bus!!! One woman just came and stood right in front of me glaring at me, waiting for me to move, holding the bus up because the driver wouldn't move until she was sat down. She made herself look a complete idiot though when I moved my cane from the far side of my leg where she couldn't see it, to being in full view. What made it worse was that there were loads of seats empty, including the ones behind me, she was just being bloody minded and entitled.
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,934
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I used to get this when I was younger. I don't now :roll:
  • dachshund
    dachshund Member Posts: 8,351
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    As5567
    I was in town on my scoota a lady walked past and said to her friend there are a lot of lazy people about today.
    take care
    joan xx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    BBs are awarded to all ages for many reasons. I see many 'frauds' who park their BB in the windscreen then casually stroll into the supermarket / hospital / theatre etc with no difficulty whilst I'm still struggling to decant the sticks or rollator. Ignore the bad-mannered twerps and don't allow yourself to be bullied into parking elsewhere. DD

    PS Last October me and my mum went to Sainzbriz. There were no disabled spots free (we both had BBs) so we parked in a mother and child space. OK, she was a very old mum with a not-so-young child but we reckoned we fitted the criteria.
  • ELAINE55555
    ELAINE55555 Member Posts: 123
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Some people casually stroll because they have severe heart problems or are in a lot of pain in they walk quickly. Just a thought!
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    As I said, BBs are awarded to all ages for many reasons, I put 'frauds' in inverted commas intending to indicate that they're not. DD
  • ELAINE55555
    ELAINE55555 Member Posts: 123
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    So which ones are the "bad mannered Twerps"? lol
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,934
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I guess, going back to the original post, the ones like the old lady who shouted abuse.

    I agree one can't judge by appearances. I used to know a lady who looked very fit and healthy who had a BB for heart failure which did, indeed, kill her.
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi
    I'm sure we've all seen the saying "you cant see it but it still hurts"
    That applies to a lot of us.....some days when walking a short distance we can look quite ordinary but other days we need to get the whole lot out of the car to help us walk.
    As Sticky says people are awarded BB for heart problems...not just mobility......

    Love
    Hileena
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Ummmm, that wasn't Sticky my lovely, it was Elaine55555. DD
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Petal
    It was Sticky {or Stocky :lol: }
    The last bit of her post.....

    I agree one can't judge by appearances. I used to know a lady who looked very fit and healthy who had a BB for heart failure which did, indeed, kill her

    How are things with you these days anyway....sorry I'm hi-jacking this a bit

    Love
    Hileena
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Ah, I see. I read that as Sticky confirming the other post, sorry. :oops: I blame the heat - mush brain rules. :oops: As for things with me, well, least said the better. :| DD

    PS Do you have your car back?
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Morning DD
    I've sent you a pm rather than hi-jack this post :lol:

    Love
    Hileena
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,274
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I have been lucky so far mind you I am old.... :lol: but when I was fit I would never have dreamed of approaching someone and saying they should not be in a disabled bay....how ignorant....saying that the other week we were parked in a bay and the car next to us had no blue badge in....its a little carpark were no one checks...there was a gentleman putting a note on the windscreen...I was tempted to read it.. :wink:
  • bubbadog
    bubbadog Member Posts: 5,544
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    My OH & I do get stopped a lot because of my age and get verbally abused, hate to say it is's mostly the elderly who seem to revert to shouting & pointing at myself. I flash them my BB and carry on getting into my wheelchair. It does get to you but eventually you get used to it!!
  • dachshund
    dachshund Member Posts: 8,351
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello all
    I saw in the paper this morning a young boy was stopped going in t..co
    because he had a walking frame it was against their rules.
    have a good day.
    joan xx
  • ouchpotato
    ouchpotato Member Posts: 453
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Joan, seriously??? That's shocking. I'm off to look for that story. There really does need to be more understanding of disability issues doesn't there? In this day and age I am horrified that businesses and people in general are not more enlightened.
  • ouchpotato
    ouchpotato Member Posts: 453
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Just found it...the security guard mistook it for a scooter???? Poor little lad and his poor mum. I'd have played merry hell!!!
  • Boomer13
    Boomer13 Member Posts: 1,931
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I just can't get used to people's judgements either, although rationally I understand it's human nature to "believe what you see", that doesn't excuse such bad behavior. I never would have believed I could look healthy and be completely disabled without having had a serious injury, until it happened. I still feel very self-conscious about using a scooter and shuffling/hobbling when out in public. Why? I have no idea.

    My brother, who has an obvious disability but no pain on movement, has people rush to help him, while I'm left on the sidelines looking normal but unable to move much. It really shows people form judgements and act on what they can see. I'm glad he receives help, though. I get the dirty looks for just sitting there and not helping my brother!! :lol:

    As5567, the treatment you received defies belief. It's one thing to judge but entirely another to act on those judgements.

    Another way we have to be brave....

    Anna
  • shandy4greenday
    shandy4greenday Member Posts: 344
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm so sorry to hear of what happened to you AS5567, There are so many ignorant and un-educated people in this world who have no idea how disabilities effect everybody everyday.I for one if I was you would not of moved your car, You have a blue badge for a reason and have every right to use a disabled space as much as every other disbled person.I would continue to do what you always do and stay put and use a disabled space no matter what people say or think. :)
  • As5567
    As5567 Member Posts: 665
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks all, been having a real rough few days with what appears to be a kidney/bladder infection -.- 2 weeks antibiotics ugh
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,934
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm so sorry. I thought it wasn't like you not to come back to your thread. That sounds nasty. I do hope the antibios work quickly.
  • Christimay
    Christimay Member Posts: 112
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi I'm the same age as you and have experienced this too when comming out with my prescription from chemist my car outside at door with my bb on display this woman approached me mad as hell sayin I've had to park up that brae and walk down town because you were in that space I just said well lucky you then I would love to have been able to park up there and walk down here but with a choice of doing it with my crutches or rollator which are both always in car when out btw. I didn't Have a choice they are just embarrassing themselves its unbielevable how discriminated we are through age and disability
  • Megrose489
    Megrose489 Member Posts: 745
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Lots of sympathy, As5567. I get these infections fairly frequently and know how horrible they can be. Take care and I hope the antibiotics kick in quickly.

    Meg

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