Orthopaedic appointment, not the best news

Slosh
Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
edited 30. Sep 2014, 15:14 in Living with Arthritis archive
Well it wasn't the end to what had been a good week that I was hoping for.
Saw a senior registrar and initially all was going well. He looked at the main spinal part of my most recent MRI and said all was well there which is what I was expecting to hear, and then said I would be reviewed again in Orths 6 weeks after my neurology appointment so they could look at the whole picture. He then asked me a few questions, and then asked me to lie down on the bed so he could examine my leg.
He did the usual checks, how far I could raise my legs etc and then held my left leg while he pushed my left foot towards me... not good, my foot just started shaking uncontrollably! He then checked my reflexes in both legs and in my left leg they went a bit mad. At this point he went and got a nurse/doctor in, repeated the tests and also one in which he ran his key over the sole of my feet. There was some whispering, he did some checks on my hands, and then got me to stand while he did a couple more tests. I was then told to wait while he went to find my consultant. At this point I started to get really worried and I must admit a bit frightened.
He came back and said that Mr Khan wasn't in. He then took another look at my MRI and compared the neck on my MRI from last December with the most recent one....not good!

I have another prolapsed disc/more arthritis in my neck which is putting a lot of pressure on my spinal cord, he showed me and even I could see the dent it was making.

He then said the dreaded words...you may need another operation!

I will now be seeing my consultant next Wednesday, which while it is good that I don't have to wait longer also makes me think this could be quite serious.

I made it into work, got a cuppa and promptly burst into tears! I am just so fed up and frightened. I am so enjoying being back at work, have loads to do and my Infants colleague has just gone on long term sick/maternity leave. I just don't want to have to go off sick again let alone have further surgery. My headteacher got tears (my spport officer phoned him to say I was crying) and I just feel so bad that after all the support he has given me I'm just letting him down again. Plus I could still have a neurological problem as well.

Sorry this is such a long post. It was so not what I was expecting as the scan was really just a double check and wasn't supposed to show another problem. Just wish I was allowed to have a drink with my meds.
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Comments

  • Boomer13
    Boomer13 Member Posts: 1,931
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Poor Slosh! ((((()))))) I am sorry about your news. I have a neuro problem as well. There is a lot of fear there; I can relate! Do take care of yourself.
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,267
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh slosh ..we never know how these appointments will go..I am sorry things are not good with your neck..the cry at work will have done you some good ..just to let it all out ....hopefully they can avoid the surgery ...wishing you well for the future and please keep us updated..
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you both. It's the speed at which things are happening which is also freaking me out. All I can say is thank God for the NHS. Just can't cope with much more of this, I just want the changes to slow down a bit.

    Just wondering if I should continue with my neck exercises or give them a rest until Wednesday.
  • kirst74
    kirst74 Member Posts: 72
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh lovey, you are allowed to cry! who wouldn't! such things are so difficult to hear and process. Sorry about your news! You are not letting anyone down! Hopefully the outcome wont be so invasive, but whatever the outcome, your work sounds supportive, and I wish all the best for you.....yes I understand what you are saying about the speed of things, I too feel like I am being carried away with it all...do what you feel is right xxx
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you. I just don't like doing the crying thing, especially not at work. Just feeling numb now and trying to, block it out of my mind as it's less painful than thinking about it. Mind you I'm still planning to increase my hours at work again next week.
  • theresak
    theresak Member Posts: 1,998
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Slosh, it must have been awful for you to receive news which you desperately did not want to hear. Letting the tears flow will be some form of release. I can understand that the speed with which things are happening is frightening - we grumble when things take ages then worry when they happen quickly!

    I wish I could offer some practical/helpful advice, but can only think of taking one day at a time - mind you, I'm absolutely rubbish at that.

    Take care,

    Tezz x
  • fortuna
    fortuna Member Posts: 149
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Sorry to hear your news and don't worry about crying it is a natural release.
    I have been in tears a couple of times today due to pain which made me struggle to the bathroom to wash my face and after I'd struggled back felt a bit better.
    I do wish you well and hope things will improve. The upside of it happening quickly is that you haven't a long time to worry. And once decisions are made you will find strength to face it.
    I have read posts of yours and admire your resolve to return to work.
    (((hug))))
    Fortuna
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    ((( ))) I am so sorry, this arthritis business is (literally in your case) a pain in the neck. This is what the disease does, however, it rides roughshod over our wishes, thoughts and desires and revels in the disruption it causes. DD
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you for your understanding.
    Fortuna, I love my job and while the return hasn't always been straightforward I am enjoying being back. You probably won't be surprised that not only did I refuse to go home yesterday when my Head suggested it I then met with him later to review the week and to increase myhours again next week to 8.30 -3.00 so I will be close to full time, although we did agree that if I have a morning appointment at the hospital on Wednesday, as I then have physio in the afternoon I won't bother going in for a couple of hours in between but will do some work at home.

    It came at the end of a week in which one new member of the team told the head she found me very welcoming and encouraging, and the Deputy told me he could already see the impact of my being back at work on the school and that I was clearly getting on top of the work. I desperately don't want to let the school down again.

    I have a really good friend coming round today, so there will be a combination of laughter and tears which will probably be just what I need!

    Just want to have a toddler style tantrum and scream and shout "It's not fair" but I don't have the energy and anyway as we all know life ISN'T fair!
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Toddlers have tantrums because they are trying to impose their will on the world and they discover they can't thanks to the interference of others. I hope you have a good day with your friend and I see absolutely no reason why some screaming, shouting and stamping of feet shouldn't take place because your will is being disrupted by a disease. You are right, it is not fair because this should have happened to someone else. The fact that it has in its various forms is neither here nor there - it just shouldn't be happening to you. ((( ))) DD
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I've said it before and I'll say it again - you have done the express route to arthritic changes and add-ons and it must be a huge struggle to accept each one. I know it's tough enough when they come singly and with a decent recovery period in between each.

    You are being positive about your work and, although the difficulties are obvious, you are still able to acknowledge that, despite all, YOU ARE VERY GOOD AT YOUR JOB. You value it and your colleagues clearly value you. And no wonder. What an example you set!

    You are dealing so well and openly with everything, I can't give you any advice other than an insistence that you make the most of today with your friend. I'm sure you will.
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you, once again, Sticky and DD for your words of wisdom and encouragement. Had a good couple of hours with my friend, the kind that I've known for so long that I was quite happy to sit in my PJs while she made tea and lunch. Good chat, tears and laughter and plans to do something nice soon.
    Got my appointment next Friday morning so it's physio on Wednesday and I've decided to continue with my arm and shoulder exercises but leave the neck ones until then so I can get their advice.

    The positive comments from my managers at work are really encouraging though they make me worry more about letting them and vulnerable pupils down if I have to go sick again.

    I start my EPP course on Monday so that seems well timed and I do seem lucky in that I have such a good NHS team supporting me.
    Watching an Astaire and Rogers film on BBC2 -thought it was time Fred and Ginger saw their name sakes.
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Be careful. You might give them ideas :wink::lol:
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I watched it too - and sang along. They don't write songs like that anymore, do they? DD wanders off warbling ' . . .Just the waaaaay you looook, tonight . . . .'

    PS My favourite version of that was on a Peter Skellern album of 'proper' songs, featuring a brass band. I once had the cassette tape, I must discover if there's a CD.
  • Starburst
    Starburst Member Posts: 2,546
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Slosh, it must be hard to hear after you've just got settled back in at work. Be kind to yourself this weekend. Relax, eat or drink something nice, watch a good TV programme and take it easy. Remember; tough times don't last but tough people do. ((((Slosh))))
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Love the music, and I have a recording of Fred singing a lot of the songs. A couple of years ago my sister took me to see the stage version of Top Hat which was wonderful. Two more fikms next week, BBC seem to do this every year now to coincide with Strictly
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Aww Slosh
    I'm sorry you are having such a hard time of it.
    Its awful being told things you don't want to hear. Like me when I was having that "day procedure" last week and still on the operating table I said to him....will this fracture ever heal? It was frustration made me say this...I didn't expect an answer but he said NO
    I'll see him sometime next week and find out more then
    I'm thinking about you
    Love
    Hileena
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks, it was so unexpected as my consultant didn't expect this MRI to show up anything, just as well he decided to be thorough and double check anyway. Hope your next appointment goes well, sometimes it's hard to know if we want answers or not, especially when they're not the ones we want or expect. Thinking of you too
  • JamesFoote
    JamesFoote Member Posts: 86
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I am so sorry to heart his new mate and I wish you well or as well as you can be

    I havejust been told I have arthritis in my neck and spine

    I have an appointment at the pain Managment clinic in a few weeks
    So I am hoping this may help but the lake of feeling in my legs and arms is very odd.

    Anyway I hope you get some good news soon

    James
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks Slosh.......I'll post a reply after I have seen the consultant
    James.....Sorry you've been told you've got arthritis in your neck and spine. I have it in my lower spine along with other things......not nice!!!!
    Hope the pain clinic come up with something
    I have an appointment with the pain clinic beginning Nov. so we'll see what they have to say.
    Love
    Hileena
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks James.
    It's going to be a long week until I get to Friday morning. Not a good weekend, really achy and stiff today and very anxious. Feel like asking if he can just fuse my whole neck while he's at it and get it over and done with.
    What with this and the neurology appointment to wait for in November I just feel very scared at the moment. Just hope I can get through the next week at work dry eyed.

    My GP is on holiday at the moment and I have a feeling he will get a "welcome back " visit from me soon after his return.

    Wish I could just go to sleep and find out this is just a bad dream, unfortunately this is real life and not Dallas.

    Sorry, not usually as negative as this, but things were going so well with my return to work.
  • LignumVitae
    LignumVitae Member Posts: 1,972
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Slosh! (((((()))))) you have come so far and been so positive I think you are allowed to have a cry and feel a bit rubbish. Another hurdle, how unfair is that. I really hope that you at least begin to feel a bit less sore and tired and anxious. I know when you really want to make a go of working how frustrating it is to stumble again but keep your eye on the prize and find a way to keep going in some way. Sometimes limping along keeps you mentally focused if that makes sense? You have achieved and are achieving so much. Imagine what you are teaching those pupils!
    This doesn't help and might make you cry more but my arthritis journey has definitely taught me that the faster you find acceptance of however the situation is then the easier it becomes. If nothing else focus on that old mantra - this too shall change. More (((((())))))
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanks for that LV, I really appreciate it, especially with all you have on your plate right now. Worked my longest day for about a year today so feeling tired etc but also pleased/proud. Physio tomorrow afternoon, I was discharged from physio for my neck so this is a new referral for my leg bt I am also going to ask if it's ok to continue with my neck exercises as I was not allowed to exercise it before my op due to the risk of doing more damage.
    Very full work diary, and a worried head teacher, not that I blame him. Roll on Friday, just want to know now.
  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 26,764
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Slosh wrote:
    Worked my longest day for about a year today so feeling tired etc but also pleased/proud.

    And so you should feel pleased and proud, Slosh. Me too :D

    Good luck with tomorrow's physio.
  • Slosh
    Slosh Member Posts: 3,194
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thank you for your encouragement Sticky. I'm hoping I get the same physio as before.
    By the way I will be asking for pocket duties again for Friday.

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