Would love some advice

Newgirl Member Posts: 8
edited 19. Dec 2016, 18:01 in Living with Arthritis archive
Hi Everyone,
Is anyone else struggling this time of the year? Yes, I'm feeling the pains of a flare but more than that. Recently I've been feeling so low, lack all motivation and have seem to me more emotional than ever. I seem to always be in tears but never in front of anybody.
I've had RA 10 years this year, I'm now 24. I like to think I've always managed living with this illness well but currently, I just seem to dwell on what my future holds and the reality of living with this forever.
I don't feel happy in myself at all anymore which is totally unlike me but I worry that speaking to my family will make them worry, particularly my mum.
Apologies for the tone of the message, maybe this is just a blip. You guys are the only ones who could know what it's like to feel the way I do

Sam xx


  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,088
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Sam.

    I'm so pleased you felt you could talk to us. Families can be difficult. As you say, we don't want to burden them with all our troubles but there are times when we all need to talk to someone who understands the sheer relentless grind of living with arthritis.

    You say you feel this is more than a flare. I agree. It does sound like more than an ordinary flare, even if one factors in the winter chills. It sounds as if you are really depressed right now. And no wonder. The daily difficulties of our lives drag us all down from time to time. And the unhappiness actually makes us experience the pain more keenly.

    I suggest you make an appointment with your GP and explain how you feel. A short course of antidepressants could help you get on top of things again. You might also like to give our lovely helpline people a ring too but I think they might not be available until Monday. Meanwhile, we are here and we do understand.
  • Kerrsa
    Kerrsa Member Posts: 233
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Sam

    I understand how you feel. I'm recently diagnosed with RA (I'm 43) although suspect I've have it for a good few years. It mainly affects my hands so walking is not a problem but some days find it hard as I'm starting to realise I will probably never be able to play competitive tennis again. I was a county level player. I also find this time of the year hard with the dark nights and suffer from SAD.

    Antidepressants do help, so might be worth talking to your doctor. It can't be easy having RA at such a young age.

    Here for a chat anytime you need.


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 28,067
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Sam

    I am so sorry you feel down, at this time of year when everyone else appears so happy it isn't easy is it?

    Of course the truth is, not all of them are really, but we don't know that.

    Like birthday milestones ,Christmas is often a time of year when we look at what we've achieved/not and what we had expected to have achieved. If this is the case with you it could easily just be a blip overcome with a plan to change things in the New Year, but if it's not you might need to do something about it.

    My sister suffers badly with SAD and actually goes to a light-box 'class' regularly until about March. She lives up in Scotland though and I have no idea how she found out about it. She bought herself a light-box herself, but finds it easy to not find time to use it.

    Of course you don't want to burden your Mum with your worries, but, as a Mum to 3 girls, I am sure she would want to know.

    I agree with the others sometimes a visit to the Doctor is the best idea.

    You've made a good start by coming on here and talking to us lot.

    Sending you some ((()))

    Toni xx
  • pot80
    pot80 Member Posts: 109
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    The saying " A trouble shared is a trouble halved" has some merit so I suggest that you confide in a good friend if you really feel you are unable to tell your mother. I think that you have to share your problem with someone. Have you asked yourself how your mother would feel learning about the problem without being told ? Whichever path you take I obviously wish you well.
  • hileena111
    hileena111 Member Posts: 7,099
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Sam
    I've got much the same to say as the others.

    Go to your GP..........a short course of anti depressants would help {never had them} but I have had a course of CBT and that did help me a few years back when I was feeling like this.

    Glad you could talk to us.
    Think of your mother......if she realised what you were going through and you hadn't told I think she would be upset.
    I think you should tell her but not worry her too much. Tell her but then come on and talk to us. Most of us have been through things like this. ....I've got 2 children {well 35 and 37} :lol: and I would want them to tell me. I do understand what you mean about not worrying her but she would want to know.

    Keep in touch

  • stickywicket
    stickywicket Member Posts: 27,088
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    How are you feeling now? I hope you managed to talk to someone about it.

    As a mother of two adult sons I'd certainly want to know if life was very difficult for them but, on the other hand, I equally certainly wouldn't feel I had any right to know. When I was a teenager living with my parents I tried to keep quiet about my arthritis partly not to worry them and partly because they tried to wrap me up in cottonwool if they knew things were bad.

    None of us wants to inflict our pain on others. We tread a fine line always and that, in itself, is stressful.

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