I want to cut my own leg off!!

Hi Emma. Poor you! Flare-ups are ghastly! I once had such a swollen and painful finger (not the only place I have the Arthers). It was so swollen the skin split, and for months it developed a sinus that leaked fluid., and was excruciatingly painful. Short story: I booked an amputation. By the time the appointment came around the finger had settled, so I cancelled. Now the finger is deformed, but actually quite useful! Don't have anything lopped off yet!!!!!

Sadly, you have arthritis. I do too, and so do hundreds of thousands of other people. It won't go away! Ess Aitch One Tango! Do your best not to make it worse by getting stressed and tense.

I am sure you already have explained to your children that you suffer from "bones" or whatever word you use to them. I am sure that they will help you as much as they can to enable you to look after them

Yes, like you I feel very frustrated by my own inabilities, and also the lack of any help from my GP. I was referred to a Pain Clinic in February by a spinal surgeon (after years of dismissal by my GP, I took my Partner with me to GP surgery and got referred to a surgeon). My GP initially had me in tears when I went to him for Pain. he said "There is nothing more I can do for you". Later he would NOT prescribe Linocaine patches which help, or refer me to a pain clinic himself. So now the Arthers are "extensive", the surgeon can't help, and I am waiting for referal to a Pain Clinic hoping for some help.

You seem to have SOME access to help. More than I have. I haven't heard of methotroxate.

There seem to be two issues causing your frustration: 1. Pain 2. Lack of function.

1. Pain. Other than unobtainable medical help, I find IGNORING it the most helpful on a daily basis. I do counting and sums in my head because numerics don't come easy, or sing songs. I think about tasks needed to be done. Move, despite the pain, keep your mind busy with recipes you can cook in stages for your family, your family's needs, do very hard puzzles, and lose weight if that is a contributory factor. You will feel proud of yourself if you are the right weight, producing nutritious food for your children, and your home is clean.

OK there are the worst days. For those you need childcare. Do you have any support? This Covid19 is making accessing extra needed help very difficult.

1. Lack of function. So frustrating and distressing for someone who is a parent, and a person in their own right who used to be able to do so much more. Being in pain and with physical disabilities means more planning and thinking. The planning and thinking will distract you from the pain. Split tasks down to smaller sections, so the children can help, or you get rests inbetween getting essential things done.

I think I have written too much! Best of luck!