Does anyone else get disheartened?

Snap know exactly how you feel I have 5 kids and have always done everything and like you walked everywhere I have those days where you cry sometimes it's good to let it out just be easier on yourself do what you can and take time out and do something that you enjoy like watching a film or sitting in the garden or something it's not your fault so be easy on yourself your daughter will understand 😁

My youngest is 13 but she still loves mum doing everything I don't think she wants to think that I'm not capable anymore cos I was always 100 miles an hour person it just takes time for everyone to adjust including yourself you'll be OK mate and if ur not come on here and have a chat or a moan hehe

Hi @Whiskey26 and @Jewels , oh boy can I relate! my hip packed in at the start of the pandemic (great timing) and I'm reduced to needing a stick whenever I'm out and sometimes round the house. I used to be very active, in Jan 21 I was hill walking, but now it's literally all I can do to get round a supermarket, buoyed up by handfuls of industrial strength pain killers. I get referred pain all the way down my left leg, my right leg is getting fed up with doing all the work and joining in the general winge-fest, and my back's now playing up from walking so weirdly for 12 months. My hip hurts whenever I do something, and the rest of the time when I don't. It wakes me up at night just to remind me it's there, and is determined to make me as miserable as possible. It's completely ok to feel fed up with this, because it is awful.

It is also completely ok to ask for help. If your daughter was in pain, wouldn't you be there for her? Explain to your family how bad your pain feels, where you feel it and when, and tell them how it makes you feel sad, frustrated, tearful, depressed, defeated and useless, and how you would really like to do everything the way you used to, but just can't anymore. It's really difficult to get the effects of this across to people who don't know what it's like to be in constant pain, how it affects what you can do, and how exhausted it makes you feel, but if you don't tell them they won't know. It's their turn to support you now. We may hate it, but that's the reality of the situation.

Meanwhile there are probably some things you can do for YOU. You'd probably benefit from the Let's Move with Leon programme, which gets the rest of your body loosened up (it's so easy for everything to tense up when you're in pain and when your odd posture affects the rest of your body), It may even help build the muscles that support your hip, reducing your pain. They're also quite fun, and you can make them as gentle as you feel you need them to be, or a bit more "strenuous" if you feel you're up to it.

You also sound like you need to schedule in some rest time. If your body is constantly working, you are constantly aggravating the damaged joint, so it never recovers. If I have to do a full day on my feet for work, I programme in a couple of days on the sofa afterwards (cos that's the effect it has on me). Allow some rest time every day, even if it's just the evening. This is NOT being lazy, this is because you NEED it and it should be entirely guilt free. You need this as much as you need to go to bed to sleep at night. People with arthritis can't carry on pretending they're ok indefinitely, the need for rest is a fact of life now.

I find a hot wheat bag on my hip helps if I've really overdone it. I also prop myself up on a strange arrangement of cushions etc in bed that puts my wrecked hip in a comfortable and supported position. Experiment a bit and see what works for you.

Also, find time to do things you enjoy that take your mind off the pain. Depression is arthritis's bed-fellow I'm afraid, so you need to nurture your mental health and well being as well. Find things to do that lift your spirits a little, or that give you a sense of peace and relaxation. Sometimes that will be spending time with friends, or doing a spot of light gardening, a bit of crafting/knitting etc, or just sitting in front of a movie. But it needs to be done, just like you need to eat and drink.

It might also be worth speaking with your GP about pain relief, or get yourself referred to a pain clinic. You haven't said whether you're waiting for surgery, but if it's affecting you this badly, maybe it's time this was considered?

I hope these help. They've certainly helped me get through the last year, when my hip has got worse and worse at a rate of knots. I finally have a date for surgery, and without that in sight, I think I would be on the verge of despair.

Sending hugs xx

Hi @Whiskey26

I have been exactly where you are now! I called it my out of control time. The OA and everything else was in charge not me at all. I could sit and go through y joints and catalogue where the pain was and how horrible it was too. I didn't want to 'make my life easier' with aids/help, I didn't want to put up with it I just wanted it to go! It didn't.

Definitey come on here to rant - as often as you need to, once it's been acknowledged you can move on.

Eventually I think we have to realise that we have lost a lot but then to think about what we have and what we want for the future. I decided I wanted to be happy, to play with my grandchildren, to get out and about and to keep up with my garden hobby. That meant having aids, and having lots of talks with my oh, he had lost all those things too, but he didn't care, he remembered I was still me, it was me who had forgotten. It is slow, there are days which are just to be waited out until tomorrow but I enjoy life. My g'ch love their Mam-gu and love coming round, I think we talk more and do more craft type things than I maybe would have but it's a great change for the children.

I think you must get a GP who is actively on your side, check out all the GPs in your pracitise and find one who can relate to you. Mine even has a magic wand which I need sometimes (I think she has it for the littlies but it helps me as well, even if it is just a feather duster!)

There will be exercise you can do, you can adapt the Exercise with Leon or find one more suited to you, he is doing other videos now too that may help you. The trick is to finish BEFORE you have made your symptoms worse. Clearly trial and error but you can do it, take it slowly and take it joint by joint. I have a little routine I do before I get out of bed, it helps me to decide what to wear, pull on or buttons, whether I need to tweak my plans, OA loves ruining plans, and it warms my joints ready to get going. At bedtime I try to think of one or two things I enjoyed that day, it's easy to lose sight of those and it might help you have some happy dreams too.

I know you will do it, stay with us so we can walk this tricky bit with you and then stay to help the next ones who will need help too

xxx

The original comment was like I had sent it! Sums me up completely - I was refused surgery for a hip replacement in 2019 - high blood pressure - thanks to the stand-in Consultant who frightened me to death with his warnings - no positivity. I cope with 2 ibuprofen a day and have had to stoop to 1mg diazepam every other day or so. I live alone and have only left the house twice in the last year. Luckily I don't get depression but I do suffer from panic attacks and fear for the future. the hip and knee pain are sometimes unbearable.

Then I suddenly feel ashamed and beat myself up because there are thousands waiting for different types of surgery far more serious than my osteo and silly panic. I just want to be me again! Helen.

Whiskey26 thank you for your advice/comment. I do various exercises but have few aids around the house - kept falling over those I was given by the NHS.......I just use two sticks indoors and hope for the best! Helen.