Feel like my life has ended

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janster
janster Member Posts: 3
edited 25. Jul 2025, 13:01 in Living with arthritis

hi my name is Jan I’m new on here( first post) and tomorrow I will turn 60, I don’t know where to start, for the past 4/5 years iv been suffering with my shoulder joints, iv been to doctors/ sent to physio, had X-rays/ mri and had many blood test this has been ongoing for the last 2 years at least, iv spent my days just taking over counter meds which have done nothing, my doctor finally prescribed naproxen, codein and told to take paracetamol too, long story short , iv always been very active and living life to the full, iv worked all my life and now it feels like it’s all over, June this year I started feeling pain in all my joints literally got up one morning to find I couldn’t put my feet on the ground to walk, my arms I couldn’t lift or use , my wrist, fingers , ankles all hurt, the past 2 years iv been to hospital 3 times because my groin was painful and I couldn’t stand or walk?.. my doctor has now requested urgent that I see a rheumatologist ( 46 weeks wait) I can’t get through the next few weeks let alone 46… I’m depressed, my emotions are all over the place, and I feel my life is in ruins… my doctor has now prescribed amitriptyline… I’m also waiting for a dexa scan( 4/8/25) and another MRI( no date yet) what I’m asking is what’s the way forward? Does the pain get easier?… I’m signed off work again for another month, I just don’t know anything… I’m really sorry for the long post ( this is just a small part of it all)… I would really appreciate any advice… many thanks Jan xx

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Comments

  • PJoanne
    PJoanne Moderator Posts: 324

    Hello @janster

    It's really great to have you here with us and it is a good thing that you have posted. Don't worry about the length of your posts, it is a safe place for you to express how you are doing and what is going on in your life. Many of the members either have or have family members who have relatable experiences.

    The medication you now have will hopefully bring you some relief. It may take a number of weeks to fully gain the benefits, so have faith that you are on the road to feeling better and that there are diagnostic tests planned.

    I would highly recommend that you call the helpline. It is free and they have lots of resources and knowledge to share.

    All the best Joanne

    Need more help - call our Helpline on 0800 5200 520 Monday to Friday 9am to 6pm

  • janster
    janster Member Posts: 3

    thank you Joanne, today I’m In pieces, my emotions are in bits, is the helpline on here?…

    Really appreciate your reply xx

  • Arciere
    Arciere Member Posts: 132

    Hi @janster

    I’m so sorry to read your post. It’s such a difficult thing to deal with. I can’t think of anything that will help you immediately but talking will help - so calling the helpline is good advice: 0800 5200 520

    I thought in the mean time that Stephen Fry’s letter may help you.

    “I’ve found that it’s of some help to think of one’s moods and feelings about the world as being similar to weather.

    Here are some obvious things about the weather:

    It’s real.
    You can’t change it by wishing it away. 
    If it’s dark and rainy it really is dark and rainy and you can’t alter it. 
    But nor is it your fault that it’s dark and rainy, and it might be dark and rainy for two weeks in a row.

    BUT

    It will be sunny one day.
    It isn’t under one’s control as to when the sun comes out, but come out it will. 
    One day.

    It really is the same with one’s moods, I think. The wrong approach is to believe that they are illusions. They are real. Depression, anxiety, listlessness—these are as real as the weather—AND EQUALLY NOT UNDER ONE’S CONTROL. No one’s fault. Not yours. 

    BUT 

    They will pass: they really will.

    In the same way that one has to accept the weather, so one has to accept how one feels about life sometimes. “Today's a crap day,” is a perfectly realistic approach. It’s all about finding a kind of mental umbrella. “Hey-ho, it’s raining inside: it isn’t my fault and there’s nothing I can do about it, but sit it out. But the sun may well come out tomorrow and when it does, I shall take full advantage.”

    I don’t know if any of that is of any use: it may not seem it, and if so, I’m sorry. I just thought I’d drop you a line to wish you well in your search to find a little more pleasure and purpose in life. “

  • janster
    janster Member Posts: 3

    thank you arciere, after being in tears today this has given me tears of happiness… and I think a call to the helpline will be very helpful.. thank you so much and wishing you well xx

  • cocoa
    cocoa Member Posts: 50

    janster
    first if all a happy birthday fir tiday !
    please think positive . You have done the right thing contacting this group . I’m sure all the positive feedback will make you feel better. It’s very difficult when you feel so low but hang on in there . Be kind to yourself , take each day as it comes, lean on friends fir support .
    Cocoa

  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 30,474

    Hi Jan

    I am so sorry you are having such a tough time and on your birthday too. I hope hearing from us lot is helping a bit. I know my first replies here years ago made me feel really tearful. All those kind people helping me. I hope you feel supported now and much less alone.

    You do sound as though you have a good GP everything they have given you will and should help quite a bit. 46 weeks is a very very long time to wait though almost a year. I don't know whether it's even fair for me to say this, but some people here do pay privately for an initial consultation with a consultant in your case a rheumatologist. They can often then be referred back to the NHS once they are diagnosed. The cost is a lot less than you might think although I don't know actual figures.

    This member @helen1937 did this recently might be worth asking her?

    https://community.versusarthritis.org/discussion/64790/rheumatoid-arthritis

    My advice is keep posting talk to us we'll help if we can an dyes ring the helpline they are lovely so patient and prepared to wait if you are bawling which I was when I rang them🙈

    Take care Jan

    Toni x

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