Ooops I flipped over disabled parking bay

woodbine

Hi,
I had another problem at a supermarket a while ago.
I have OA in my lower back and hands which, added to the fact I'm only 5' 2'' , means that I find it impossible to use normal sized deep trolleys as I can't bend to reach the bottom to empty the last few things out at the checkout. There was only one of the shallower trolleys left, and I was reaching out for it when an elderly, but sprightly, lady reached past me, grabbed it, and said something along the lines of 'I'm sure you don't mind dear, but at my age those big trolleys are too much for me'.
I was too gobsmacked to reply as she disappeared with the trolley. I realise that she may well have had good reasons for finding the smaller trolley easier too, and I've certainly no objection to helping out elderly people, but it's the assumption that because I'm youngish (40) and not visibly disabled that there's nothing wrong with me that gets me. :shock:
I'm finding the 'invisibility' of OA symptoms one of the hardest aspects of it to cope with - does anyone else find this a problem? If so, would you say something to the other person in a situation like this? :?
Naomi

PS I don't have a blue badge, but even on my worst days would never dream of parking in a disabled bay, so I find it infuriating when those with no badge do so.

frogmorton

Hi Woodbine
Poor you!
Those deep trolleys ARE awful aren't they? I just can't use the myself. That person wasn't being fair at all. Did you have to give up on your shopping?
Meanie
Toni x

woodbine

frogmorton wrote:

Hi Woodbine
Poor you!
Those deep trolleys ARE awful aren't they? I just can't use the myself. That person wasn't being fair at all. Did you have to give up on your shopping?
Meanie
Toni x

Hi Toni - thanks for the sympathy

They certainly are awful, and heavy to push too, especially on days when my hands are aching.
I didn't entirely give up on my shopping, but just bought the few items I needed urgently so that I could restrict the amount of bending necessary. (The supermarket concerned has now got more of the smaller trolleys so hopefully the problem won't arise again.)

Thanks again

Naomi

suzster

woodbine wrote:

Hi,
I had another problem at a supermarket a while ago.
I have OA in my lower back and hands which, added to the fact I'm only 5' 2'' , means that I find it impossible to use normal sized deep trolleys as I can't bend to reach the bottom to empty the last few things out at the checkout. There was only one of the shallower trolleys left, and I was reaching out for it when an elderly, but sprightly, lady reached past me, grabbed it, and said something along the lines of 'I'm sure you don't mind dear, but at my age those big trolleys are too much for me'.
I was too gobsmacked to reply as she disappeared with the trolley. I realise that she may well have had good reasons for finding the smaller trolley easier too, and I've certainly no objection to helping out elderly people, but it's the assumption that because I'm youngish (40) and not visibly disabled that there's nothing wrong with me that gets me. :shock:
I'm finding the 'invisibility' of OA symptoms one of the hardest aspects of it to cope with - does anyone else find this a problem? If so, would you say something to the other person in a situation like this? :?
Naomi

PS I don't have a blue badge, but even on my worst days would never dream of parking in a disabled bay, so I find it infuriating when those with no badge do so.

hi, i've said before we should get t shirts printed, because it is a big issue. i was using a lift in the library once, had my walking stick but because the lift is tiny an old there was only room for 2 people, i had my daughter with me, she's was only little at the time so i wasn't going to send her up the stairs on her own! well this old man asked me if i would mind using the stairs as he could'nt because he had bad legs, hmmm, i said that actually i have mobility problems to, see my walking stick? so he said again that he wanted to use the lift and surely i could manage the stairs?
so bluntly i said that no i can't walk up the stairs, but if you call the lift it doesn't take long after i get out!! he gave a real evil look so i closed the doors!!!
people like that are just rude, i know we look fine, but surely people realise not all disabilities are obvious?
i've had problems from staff in shops and at the train station because i use the disabled toilet, i have a radar key, surely we shouldn't have to expolain ourselves, especially when we're desperate for the loo!!!
if we had a t shirt to flash, that might work lol

eckstardeluxe

suzster wrote:

woodbine wrote:

Hi,
I had another problem at a supermarket a while ago.
I have OA in my lower back and hands which, added to the fact I'm only 5' 2'' , means that I find it impossible to use normal sized deep trolleys as I can't bend to reach the bottom to empty the last few things out at the checkout. There was only one of the shallower trolleys left, and I was reaching out for it when an elderly, but sprightly, lady reached past me, grabbed it, and said something along the lines of 'I'm sure you don't mind dear, but at my age those big trolleys are too much for me'.
I was too gobsmacked to reply as she disappeared with the trolley. I realise that she may well have had good reasons for finding the smaller trolley easier too, and I've certainly no objection to helping out elderly people, but it's the assumption that because I'm youngish (40) and not visibly disabled that there's nothing wrong with me that gets me. :shock:
I'm finding the 'invisibility' of OA symptoms one of the hardest aspects of it to cope with - does anyone else find this a problem? If so, would you say something to the other person in a situation like this? :?
Naomi

PS I don't have a blue badge, but even on my worst days would never dream of parking in a disabled bay, so I find it infuriating when those with no badge do so.

hi, i've said before we should get t shirts printed, because it is a big issue. i was using a lift in the library once, had my walking stick but because the lift is tiny an old there was only room for 2 people, i had my daughter with me, she's was only little at the time so i wasn't going to send her up the stairs on her own! well this old man asked me if i would mind using the stairs as he could'nt because he had bad legs, hmmm, i said that actually i have mobility problems to, see my walking stick? so he said again that he wanted to use the lift and surely i could manage the stairs?
so bluntly i said that no i can't walk up the stairs, but if you call the lift it doesn't take long after i get out!! he gave a real evil look so i closed the doors!!!
people like that are just rude, i know we look fine, but surely people realise not all disabilities are obvious?
i've had problems from staff in shops and at the train station because i use the disabled toilet, i have a radar key, surely we shouldn't have to expolain ourselves, especially when we're desperate for the loo!!!
if we had a t shirt to flash, that might work lol

Good for you! Looking at both you and Naomi's posts this does really seem to be such a big issue. I'm imagining a t-shirt now in an 80's style that says

FRANKIE SAYS I'M DISABLED

frogmorton

Hi Naomi
That's what you have to do isn't it? Use a basket! So they loose trade don't they....
Our superarket just did the same and got a load more small ones. Lots of people appreciate them domn't they.

Now as for the T shirts....can I order mine in pink please!
Suz - my youngest has a stair-phobia as well as donw escalator phobia (got that bit from me! ) so we have to use the lifts and they glare at me too. I NEVER comment if other people need to use the lifts etc - as you say - who knows?
people should be more accepting don't you think?
Happy shopping everyone!
Toni x

gocat1

livinglegend wrote:

If you are collecting meds for a disabled person, then if you park in a disabled bay you should still display the badge.

the above would collect a £30 fixed penalty fine in Scotland. The sooner it extends to England the better for all of us.

Joseph 8)

Does the same apply in england? I didnt know an able bodied person can use the blue badge to collect medication for a disabled person .

justinbarrow

People abusing the disabled parking rules has been going on for years i remember when my mother had the old style orange badge people would park in a disabled bay without displaying a badge.

I have lost count of the times i see people displaying a blue badge then go into a shop and come out lugging a telivision or some flat packed furniture with a sticker on it that says "caution heavy item"

Then you see a genuine person who is struggling and they have to park further away and struggle even more - Our trafffic wardens now have cameras fitted on them and they have the use of cctv aswell to try and enforce the people abusing the blue badge scheme.

justinbarrow

woodbine wrote:

it's the assumption that because I'm youngish (40) and not visibly disabled that there's nothing wrong with me

I know how you feel and there are a lot of young people that have to put up with the same thing.

If only they knew what the pain and complications were like

eckstardeluxe

gocat1 wrote:

livinglegend wrote:

If you are collecting meds for a disabled person, then if you park in a disabled bay you should still display the badge.

the above would collect a £30 fixed penalty fine in Scotland. The sooner it extends to England the better for all of us.

Joseph 8)

Does the same apply in england? I didnt know an able bodied person can use the blue badge to collect medication for a disabled person .

Hi there, alas it is Scotland only, but I'm pretty sure as we are firt with everything, poll tax too :x they'll spread this out UK wide. It is kicking the supermarkets up the bum into action anyway.

livinglegend

gocat1 wrote:

livinglegend wrote:

If you are collecting meds for a disabled person, then if you park in a disabled bay you should still display the badge.

the above would collect a £30 fixed penalty fine in Scotland. The sooner it extends to England the better for all of us.

Joseph 8)

Does the same apply in England? I didn't know an able bodied person can use the blue badge to collect medication for a disabled person .

Its a rule which has been amended/updated in the latest Handbook for England.

Page 8:
Do not allow other people to use your badge to do something on your behalf such as shopping or collecting something for you, unless you are travelling with them.

The trip must be for your benefit only and you must be using the vehicle.

The second paragraph is the one that still causes confusion. People ignore the words 'for your benefit only'. Parking for shopping for anyone else is therefore outside the rules.

Joseph 8)

angel1

I have just come back home from the supermarket - without my shopping - in floods of tears. I thought I had seen and heard it all regarding the parking problem.

I was following a huge 4 x 4 along the line of disabled spaces. I had already spotted a couple next to each other, so was indicating. Suddenly this guy in front of me pulled in across not one, but both of the spaces. He jumped out, and started to walk off. As far as I could see he had no badge. He must have seen my face. I thought he would go back, and straighten up, but in fact he stood just a few feet from the front of my car, with a "Well, what are you going to do about it?" look on his face. He was a big guy, early thirties, and I`m sixty seven, and five foot two. I drove off, and now I`m ashamed of myself, but I felt scared, and very vulnerable.....Ange.

suzster

Good for you! Looking at both you and Naomi's posts this does really seem to be such a big issue. I'm imagining a t-shirt now in an 80's style that says

FRANKIE SAYS I'M DISABLED [/quote]

lol, that would be a great t shirt, i might have to look into it lol

suzster

angel1 wrote:

I have just come back home from the supermarket - without my shopping - in floods of tears. I thought I had seen and heard it all regarding the parking problem.

I was following a huge 4 x 4 along the line of disabled spaces. I had already spotted a couple next to each other, so was indicating. Suddenly this guy in front of me pulled in across not one, but both of the spaces. He jumped out, and started to walk off. As far as I could see he had no badge. He must have seen my face. I thought he would go back, and straighten up, but in fact he stood just a few feet from the front of my car, with a "Well, what are you going to do about it?" look on his face. He was a big guy, early thirties, and I`m sixty seven, and five foot two. I drove off, and now I`m ashamed of myself, but I felt scared, and very vulnerable.....Ange.

that is terrible, i don't blame you, i'd of done the same, no way i'd comfront someone like that, it's a real shame you couldn't of said something to the shop, it makes me so angry, you poor thing.
sue

eckstardeluxe

suzster wrote:

angel1 wrote:

I have just come back home from the supermarket - without my shopping - in floods of tears. I thought I had seen and heard it all regarding the parking problem.

I was following a huge 4 x 4 along the line of disabled spaces. I had already spotted a couple next to each other, so was indicating. Suddenly this guy in front of me pulled in across not one, but both of the spaces. He jumped out, and started to walk off. As far as I could see he had no badge. He must have seen my face. I thought he would go back, and straighten up, but in fact he stood just a few feet from the front of my car, with a "Well, what are you going to do about it?" look on his face. He was a big guy, early thirties, and I`m sixty seven, and five foot two. I drove off, and now I`m ashamed of myself, but I felt scared, and very vulnerable.....Ange.

that is terrible, i don't blame you, i'd of done the same, no way i'd comfront someone like that, it's a real shame you couldn't of said something to the shop, it makes me so angry, you poor thing.
sue

You poor thing. Imagine if he'd been there the day I had my four letter rant :x I was very ashamed of myself over that but this type of scum would have deserved it.

Re the badge, I told my hubby never to use it ever even if going into the Dr for me, he can walk and someone behind him will likely need it more. We had a scary time recently when we found out his heart rate was very low at resting. Turns out he's as fit as Bjorn Borg in his heyday. I was like :shock: He can run for my prescriptions from miles away I said

livinglegend

angel1 wrote:

I have just come back home from the supermarket - without my shopping - in floods of tears. I thought I had seen and heard it all regarding the parking problem.
He was a big guy, early thirties, and I`m sixty seven, and five foot two. I drove off, and now I`m ashamed of myself, but I felt scared, and very vulnerable.....Ange.

Nothing to be ashamed of as most of us, me included, would have driven off and parked in some other spot. To tackle an aggressive stranger who acts in an intimidating manner could be taken as foolish.

If someone is aggressive, then it is recommended that you walk/drive away. With the prevalence for some people to carry knives it is only common sense not to place yourself in a potentially dangerous situation. You did the right thing in the circumstances.

Even though you are 67, have you considered a ladies self-defence course which could have given you more confidence in this situation? It doesn't mean that you would tackle him, but it should have helped with your confidence. I would recommend that all our lovely ladies join a self-defence group. Go for it girls.

Joseph 8)

angel1

Thanks Suz, Ecks, and Joseph for your support. I`ve had a cuppa, and I`m off now to try again, for my shopping.

Joseph, I love the idea of self defence, but don`t know how it would gel with Arthur. Still, will give it some thought. Thank you..Ange

livinglegend

angel1 wrote:

Thanks Suz, Ecks, and Joseph for your support. I`ve had a cuppa, and I`m off now to try again, for my shopping.

Joseph, I love the idea of self defence, but don`t know how it would gel with Arthur. Still, will give it some thought. Thank you..Ange

If the course leader knew of your disability and took it into account, there should not be any real problems. People who are permanently using a wheelchair can learn self-defence.

Some courses also deal specifically with people who use a walking stick and how to defend yourself if you carry one.

Has anyone on the forum attended a course?

Joseph 8)

frogmorton

Oh Ange
are you ok?
Nasty nasty man!!!One day he will get his comeuppance!!! One day somehow....
You did just fine and should just be pleased you are home safe and well. Heroics is silly as Joseph says - might have had a knife.
Take care
Toni x

angel1

Thanks Joseph.....You have given me a lot of food for thought. Since having my little Amber put to sleep, I have to admit to - whilst not actually being afraid - not feeling quite so confident in my home. I`ve lived here for forty three years, and this is the first time I`ve been totally alone. Self defence classes would be good. Many thanks.

Hiya Toni,.....I`m OK now that I`ve put things into perspective. What the hell did I think I could have done?.......Much love....Ange.

skezier

Oh Ange what a terrible way to spend a morning. I'm glad your ok about it now though it must have been terrible at the time. I honestly do think you would be better having another dog you know, you will never replace Amber and you'd not want to but you have the love to give and another little or big friend would help to take away the hole. I almost sent you a pm about it as I do understand I promise you and know when I lost my partner I'd have really gone as well had it not been for the animals....... Can't say they kept me sane though. Luv Cris x ((( )))

frogmorton

Hi Ange
Glad you ARE ok.
Cris might be on to something there. Animals ARE lovely and such good company too.
You look after you.
Love
Toni x

angel1

Thank you all for looking out for me. I have been thinking very, very seriously about another dog. The only reason I`ve hesitated is because I would have to be 100% strong enough emotionally, and physically, and at this moment in time, I`m not sure that I am. I` m not being selfish, I`m actually trying to think of the dogs needs, not mine.......Much love.....Ange.

wrenis

wondering what your artwork is/looks like joyful!???
do you have any samples online?
wren