Snap Out of It

noeltone

I have all my life and I keep getting and have had messages both generally and by pm on here to snap out of my down times but it is not that easy if it was I wolud be able to and live a happy life and skip around singing jolly tunes and cracking good jokes and I would climb Everest every day and likewise I get helpful NOT comments that my arthirititis is not that bad and i get that and you get out and go places like beach huts and the beach and so what are you moaning about and I feel I am nothing in peoples eyes and are treated like an imbecile so that is how i behave after a while as i feel as though i have to live up to these labels of being disabled and on benefits but what really gawls me is so called similar people with arthuritis to me saying i have that and i can manage so why cant you you miserable and awkward so and so if only?????

holmesi

hi noeltone ,i don't know how you manage youv'e had this THING since you were very young,I've only been diagnosed with OA since May09 and I'm not coping with it at all well, i have people saying to me oh you look great, pity they cant see me in the morning in agony, so i say to you as a new fellow sufferer ,you are bl**dy marvellous ,just put it down to another bad day and think of something nice[I don't want this to sound patronising]holmesi

tkachev

It is really difficult to explain to people how painful arthritis is,how so much of our former lives is lost,and how depressed we feel as a result.To me,at my worst,arthritis is like a giant,permanent chinese burn all over.Even lying still was painful.
At the moment I am much better and as a result I am on a high because I remember the shear hopelessness of my situation.It is clear that you have a prolonged,painful flare and it is rightly getting you down.When you are in that much pain,day after day, nothing is going to comfort you except relief from the pain, and understanding people around you.Any advice on here is to help you,because we have all suffered and have experienced uncaring comments ouselves.

Take care Noeltone
Tkachev

skezier

Oh Chrisov, please don’t let these idiots get to you. They have no understanding of what arthritis does to you physically, mentally and financially. I can’t say anything helpful but I do know there are so many people on the site with a real understanding that you can't snap out of it and a genuine care for you. I am one of them. It may only be cybercare but its still real in a genuine way. Please don’t let people who have no understanding or empathy get to you and in my eyes, and I know its not the same as a real person in 3d form saying it, you are not an imbecile, you are a genuine and nice person and well that’s all I can say. A ((( ))) to, and take care. Cris x

joanlawson

Oh, Chrisov, it makes me very sad, and angry on your behalf, that people can be so insensitive, and downright rude. I am shocked that such comments are made to you by some people on this site,too. Anyone with arthritis should understand how you feel, and why you sometimes feel depressed. Also, anyone who has read your very moving accounts about your difficult childhood should have an insight into what you have come through. I am sure that the majority of people who know anything about you are, like me, full of admiration for you. I think if I had to put up with half the things you have had to endure, I shouldn't be nearly so brave.

All I can say is that some people can be very ignorant, and comments like snap out of it, or pull yourself together, just show them up as the shallow individulals they are. It is probably easy for me to say ignore them, because I haven't been on the receiving end like you. But really, anyone who makes such comments isn't worth giving the time of day. I think it is best to try to rise above them if you can. Only you know how you feel, so how dare they presume to know better? Just say that next time you hear that they are ill or in pain, you will be very pleased to tell them to snap out of it :!: :!:

Joan

page35

Hi Christov
just wanted to send you my support
i have early RA so cannot understand what you deal with everyday, but i did suffer with depression for 4 years on and off and very few people understood that.
with help i did recover from it but now i have RA i feel it will be something i will have to deal with again. although i am coping at the moment.
i know there are many people that think well of you on here and like me wish you well.
best wishes
page x

ninakang

Hi christov

I'm sorry you have been treated so badly by people. I've had the odd comment (not on the scale you have) about how I look well and am too young to have RA and so have an idea of how you feel.

Wouldn't it be wonderful just to be able to tell someone to f*** off? But we are far too polite!

The best advice I can give is to keep coming on here and telling the people who you know will understand. As for the people on here who've PM's you to tell you to snap out of it - tell me who they are, I'll sort them out :-)

Nx

elnafinn

Dear chrisov

Anyone who tells you to snap out of it, make a cup of tea, climb a mountain, get over it, go and sit on a bench and look at the beautiful world outside and everything will be rosy, take no notice. You do not need these people with their useless retorts.These people are not worth listening to, think of all the people who do understand, care, love you. Listen to them. You have done much with your life already, more than many people, you are very talented. Carry on doing the things you are good at and enjoy doing as and when you are able to do so.

Luv
Elna x

jaspercat

Hi Chrisov, please ignore these silly idiots, if they knew who we all suffer they would keep their mouths shut, I do admit that these people drive me insane, they have no idea at all, perhaps if they had Arthur then they would feel how you do.

I hate people that say "I know how you feel", they don't you have to have our problems to know, as for living off benefits, we have enough trouble getting them in the first place, we are surely entitled to them.

Take care Chrisov love Jaspercatxx

holmesi

ninakang wrote:

Hi christov

I'm sorry you have been treated so badly by people. I've had the odd comment (not on the scale you have) about how I look well and am too young to have RA and so have an idea of how you feel.

Wouldn't it be wonderful just to be able to tell someone to f*** off? But we are far too polite!

The best advice I can give is to keep coming on here and telling the people who you know will understand. As for the people on here who've PM's you to tell you to snap out of it - tell me who they are, I'll sort them out :-)

Nx

I have got no problem with telling people to F**k off ,especially work colleagues ,**** being polite, being in pain all the time is not funny let them get on with it and let us sort it out in our own way.holmesi

debatat

Hi Crisov, I am sorry you have been on the recieving end of such hurtful comments. I am suprised that anyone on this forum has been so rude, I have found it to be so supportive. Maybe you could screen your PMs and not read ones from certain people? Not sure if this is poss? :oops:

You have many supporters on here, who understand what you are going through, ignore the rest. Pain and depression are invisible and immeasurable by others. You know the truth and that is what matters.

Keep posting I enjoy your posts!!

Deb

woodbon

Hello Christov, I'm so sorry that people have been hurting you, but, in the end it shows you how stupid they can be. I've often been guilty of passing judgement on people without knowing the facts. You've shown me just what a stupid, daft, and hurtful thing that is to do. I get down and have had and still have depression, you can't pull yourself together, otherwise you would. Anyone who has had any sort of depression should know that 'pulling yourself together' is rubbish. Being down, like this requires time, rest, someone to talk to and understanding for me, anyway.

I wish I could offer something more positive to you. I hope time will help you and bring back some of the lighter side of life.

Lots of love and good wishes Sue

karinak

Hello Noeltone,
Just read your post and was disgusted that ppl could be so rude and insensitive, I aggree with all other replies that to ignore those who have made you feel like this.
I have just been diagnosed and have up and down mornings and ppl on here have been so kind and supportive, rest assured it must be the very minority who have made you feel this way.
Thoughts are with you Karina

kathbee

HI Chrisov

Its definitely THEM that are imbeciles.
Its hard to believe that there are such
idiots on this usually helpful forum.
You are one of the people on here
who cares about your
fellow sufferers and are kind and helpful.

They should be banned from the forum if they cant
be of more use, they are a total waste of space.
I think the Mods should be giving out warnings to the
folks who are doing this.

People really 'p' me off who are eager to say 'pull yourself together'
'snap out of it', if only it were possible, there would be no
use for docs, medication and therepists, its just not that cut and dried, we all have our reasons for needing all or some of these.

As someone already said, just delete off the messages from the ones who are
giving you grief and dont give them the satisfaction that are
are prepared to give your time to read the rubbish they write.

Keep strong and remember you have some great friends who only wish the best for you.

Take care
love from Kath

trisher

Hi

I don't know everything about you as I have only been on here since May.

You seem to be getting a hard time of it. Is there anyway, that if you get a pm , from someone who has made nasty comments that you would delete it without reading it?

As for the people who say things to your face have you ever challenged them and asked if they would like to swap places.

As for comments that you go to the beach ect, yes, we can all go to places. At good times I like to travel but I have to make sure that I have all the right medical equipment in place before I go.

I sometimes find that because I'm an amputee people stare at me but I found the courage to ask them if they would like to take a photo. I wish that I could have taken a photo of them when their faces were bright red. On the other hand I used to find that people would never ask me what I wanted they asked my husband. It would make me feel that I was incapable of speaking for .

What I would say to you though is that you are you, and it is your body that is suffering in the way that it is. People all react in different ways, what drug may suit one person does not suit another that is what makes us individuals.

As for you being on benefits please try and not let it upset you. some people with arthritis can go to work while others cannot that is your business not theirs.

There are so many good people, on here and they all care about YOU and how you are feeling . They have helped me with my troubles recently.

I don't know if Iam any help to you

trisher

mellman01

Hi noeltone I sympathise with you 100%, bin there got the T shirt, I went through a really ruff patch recently I ended up on Fluxotine (Prozac) as I knew deep in my heart that it, my OA was slowly breaking through my physiological defences and every flare it was getting worse, I don’t know what pain meds you are on but I was told by my GP that my problem was direct result of taking Tramdol and other strong codeine based pain killers over a long time, apparently it not only reduces your serotonin levels but the pain meds also inhibit the receptors in the brain from working properly.
Now things aren’t tip top but it’s a fair bit better than it was, sadly though I you and those on here will still have to deal with these heartless idiots, I’m getting to the point where I will either just walk away or tell them to shove it up their ar*s!, bottom line is these people are totally self centred and highly opinionated and they are normally quite loud, the only way they will have any empathy or sympathy with or for you is if they get it themselves.
.Try your best to ignore them, I tend to either avoid them or walk away if they start talking to me, if you can’t them tell them as little as possible as these types of people tend to use your own words to attack you normally when you least expect it. And remember the old saying that states that you can’t educate pork!
Please try and keep your pecker up as best you can, and remember not all people are dicks there are still some nice souls out there and on here.

angel1

I truly hope that this wonderful show of support helps you Chrisov. I have felt admiration for you many times over the months that I have been privileged to be part of this forum. Far from being an imbecile, I believe that you deal with your problems in a very sensible way. You are also a deeply sensitive person, which, of course, is why the know-alls can get to you.

For years now, well since I lost the other half of me actually, I have kept all my problems to myself. The thinking behind this being that those who care deeply for me will only worry themselves silly. As for the rest, they don`t give a stuff anyway, and will just respond in the way you have described. So it`s great to be able to come on here, and interact with like-minded, good people, who do understand, and care.

Just to give you a laugh. I did actually try to explain to a "friend" a few months ago how low I was feeling. She looked at me in amazement, and said "But you`re a Counsellor"..........Ange.

PS. Maybe you should think about naming and shaming the people who are abusing you, and our lovely forum.

Wonkylegs

Hey Chrisov, you are NOT on your own, and you are very much loved.

Please ignore these very hurtful and non-constructive comments and concentrate on those that are so positive.

I have met you , and I know that you are certainly not a waste of space, and you have a very fine grasp of what living with arthritis and depression long term really means. You have helped me enormously through your posts, and this forum would be the poorer without you - so do keep on here and let your cyber friends support you.

I have been having a tough time for similar reasons just lately - someone who should know better telling me how useless I am and worthless, and how I should have got myself up and worked harder at getting myself out into the world just like they have.

Well I have realised today that friends are the people who are the real blessings in life - they choose you because of who you are, love you for your faults and stick with you despite them.

I hope I can count you as a friend ...... I certainly admire you for what you do each and every day, and admire your honesty to us on here.

all the very best,
Wonky

twinney

Hello there,
Sorry only just read your post, I am so sorry to hear how you have been treated, its diabolical. Why are people so unkind, I just don't understand it.
No one will ever know the pain Arthritis sufferers have to deal with on a daily basis, until they suffer it themselves.
Just keep on doing the best that you can and keep smiling.
Take care
Regards
Lyn

noeltone

Hi all and many thanks for your kind words I will try not to open or listen and react moodily to certain comments about being snappy and snapping out of it and I get that and lazy benefit scrounger as someone said I am too sensitive as for naming comments and peeps etc I think that would be too divisive my pals on here know who I am thinking about ill leave that to mods who have acted before with some of the comments made on here in their censoring I think such comments are made becos I depress others with my comments and moods but that is me and if I cant get it down on here I mught go mad???perhaps there ought to be a forum for the mad depressed and cant cope on here where only we go to

skezier

Chrisov don't you dare let those morons put you off posting here. I hope something will be sorted out about this but you keep coming here and posting when ever you need to. Cris x

debatat

Crisov, glad to see you posting. Please keep posting, by the way if you find a forum for the mad, let me know and I will join you!!!!

Have a good day

Deb x

elnafinn

So good to hear from you Chrisov, yes some of us, know who these peeps are. .......

You are staying right here with us Chrisov. We want you here with us. This is a forum for all and we post what and when we wish to do so. With so many people visiting this site there are bound to be some that we do not get on with or do not wish to particularly be associated with. That is only natural, that is life.

I do hope you day goes well for you. Please call in again very soon.

Love
Elna x

madwestie

Chrisov,

We are all capable of having down days and it is only on here that we feel we can share our problems.

You should be free to feel however you want and no-one can tell you if it is right or wrong to feel that way.

Please keep posting we all miss you when you don't

Tracey

joanlawson

Hi Chrisov

Glad to hear you are OK and fighting back.Your suggestion of a forum for the mad, depressed and can't cope would include all of us at some time. I know it does me! We all feel like that sometimes, but not many people have the courage to admit it.

Keep posting! You have so many friends here.

Joan

sharmaine

Hi

Just remember that we are all different and there people suffer in different ways. Try and ignore these people ....they will never understand what pain is until they have it.

Life is harsh and throws a lot of stuff our way. I remember reading a book on psychology which had some good advice and I tend to stick by it. If someone is always putting you down or disbelieving you then don't have them in your life - do you need them? It's difficult when it is family and you share the same house. You'll then have to find some strategy to deal with it. I never hang around people who pretend to be my friend and when you really need them they're nowhere to be found. I don't need friends like that. Keep your dignity. Try and be cool and confident. Life is just too short to put up with people who really don't care about anyone except themselves.

Be assured that not everyone is so cold hearted. There are many caring people on the forum.

Take care
Sharmaine