feeling very sad with the loss :o(

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tamnwill
tamnwill Member Posts: 93
edited 2. Oct 2009, 14:05 in Living with Arthritis archive
Some of you are aware I was pregnant, well I lost the baby on Sunday night, very traumatic and painful..............It's so sad as I was nearly out of the typical danger time and had come to terms with the fact that I would have to be drug (RA) meds free for another 6 months. My body was suffering as a result but I felt I was coping. Anyone else experienced this please, whilst with RA? and did you go on to have a successful pregnancy? :cry:
Energy is eternal delight.
William Blake (1757-1827)

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Mark Twain
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  • robertls
    robertls Member Posts: 2,304
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Oh Tam..........

    I'm so sorry...............so very very sorry.

    I can't offer any advise.................but my thoughts and prayers are for you and your loss.

    Rob x
    Roba045.gif
  • lindah
    lindah Member Posts: 445
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss.

    My thoughts are with you both at this sad time.

    Linda H
  • ritwren
    ritwren Member Posts: 928
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I'm very sorry to hear your sad news.
    Big hugs
    rita
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Dear Tam

    I am so very sorry to hear your very sad news. I remember well your thread telling us your good news and also the following thread when you were not feeling too comfortable and were going for a scan. I see no reason why you cannot go on to have a successful pregnancy. I am sending lots of love to you and gentle hugs. You will be needing a lot of TLC at this time and I know your man will be there for you, as we are too.

    Elna x()
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • kathbee
    kathbee Member Posts: 934
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    So very sorry to hear your sad news Tam.

    Thinking of you and sending all good wishes to
    you both.

    Kath xx
  • debatat
    debatat Member Posts: 659
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I am so sorry for your loss. It must be a very traumatic time for you. I have no advice except to talk it over with your rheumy doc. Have you been tested for clotting disorders such as APS?

    Big hugs

    Deb x
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Tam I am so, so sorry and my thoughts are with you both. Cris x
  • suzster
    suzster Member Posts: 1,328
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    so sorry, i have pm'ed you, as yes i truly understand what you re going through.
    take care and hugs to you and your o/h
    sue
  • indigo
    indigo Member Posts: 113
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Tam and hubby

    sorry is not a big enough word.

    Hope it is not to long before you feel able to start over , and all goes

    well. Mean while, take extra special care of you.

    with love

    Indigo xxx
  • debbieclap
    debbieclap Member Posts: 109
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Tam
    I am sorry to hear what you have been through :(:(:(
    I have OA and lost a baby years ago and then went on to have another baby he is 22 now and strapping. I was able to continue with painkillers.
    Things have probably changed a lot since then.
    (((((Big Hugs)))))
    Debbie
  • page35
    page35 Member Posts: 1,081
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Tam
    so sorry to hear your sad news.
    i lost my baby at 9wks it was horible and so sad and i wasnt going to try again but i did and thank goodness i did as i have a beautiful daughter who is now 2yrs.
    my thoughts are with you
    page x
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Dear TamnWill

    I am so very sorry to read your news.I also lost a baby at around 6 weeks in Oct 2002.My mum had died in the Feb,my son was diagnosed as autistic in the May and then I lost the baby.
    But I felt quite calm,as if I had lost the ability to be upset.I just felt I had to be strong.
    I had a daughter in Oct 2003,aged 40,with R.A.At first I was angry because I didnt want to go through anymore upsets and I didnt tell anyone until I was about 20 weeks and felt able to enjoy it all.
    I do hope you will get support from your loved ones and wish you well.
    Take care Tkachev
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • ninakang
    ninakang Member Posts: 1,367
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Tam

    I'm very sorry to read that you lost a baby. We're all here for you whenever you need support. I lost a baby before I got pregnant with my 2nd daughter, it's traumatising. Whenever you need to chat...

    Nx
  • jaspercat
    jaspercat Member Posts: 1,238
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Tam,

    I just wanted to say that I feel really sorry for your loss love Jaspercatxx
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,393
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Dear Tam,

    Nothing I can say will make you feel any better but I am so very sorry, I hope you can gain comfort and love from those around you at this sad time.

    Take care.

    Lots of love, Legs XX
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • Wonkylegs
    Wonkylegs Member Posts: 3,504
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Words are insufficient to express how I feel on hearing your news.

    please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

    Take all the time you need to look after yourself and your hubby.

    When you feel able to, do ask your gynaecology & rheumatology teams for help and advice - I knwo that they were amazingly helpful to us when we were looking into things. There is a lot of knowledge and support out there if you ask.

    lots of hugs to you both (((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))))))
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hello Tam

    I am so sorry that you have lost your precious baby. You will be going through a bad time at the moment and my thoughts are with you.

    I was never able to conceive, and had lots of treatment without success. ( This was before IVF ) My hopes were constantly being raised and dashed, but I think it would probably have been worse if I had got pregnant and then lost the baby. I went through a very bad time, feeling inadequate and desperate for a child. Eventually, we decided to adopt, and were extremely lucky to get twins, a girl and a boy. It was the best thing we ever did.

    I do hope things will get better for you in the future. Sadly, many women suffer miscarriages, but they then go on to have babies later.

    Joan
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • dutchess
    dutchess Member Posts: 79
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    tamnwill wrote:
    Some of you are aware I was pregnant, well I lost the baby on Sunday night, very traumatic and painful..............It's so sad as I was nearly out of the typical danger time and had come to terms with the fact that I would have to be drug (RA) meds free for another 6 months. My body was suffering as a result but I felt I was coping. Anyone else experienced this please, whilst with RA? and did you go on to have a successful pregnancy? :cry:

    I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I can only empathise with you with the fact that I've recently come off my meds. I'm now nearly into three months but things are going really badly so understand how you feel with your body suffering whilst off the meds. At the moment because I have ra/sjogrens and cutaneous vasculitis its the vasulitis that is kicking off big time and I''m on 40 mg steroids at the mo and its still not under control. I see my gp again on thurs but reality is if they can't get it under control I won't be able to try for a baby. Please don't give up hope. You also need to grieve for the baby you've lost. Speak with your gp or rheumy for support and advice. Good luck with everything.
    Take care
    Luv Kelly
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hello, I am so very sorry to hear your news, it must be so hard to bare.

    At least you can get pregnant and that has to be a good sign for the future. Many woman have miscarriges and go on to have babies, its much more a common than people think, but thats no help at the moment.

    My thoughts are with you and your partner.

    Take good care of yourself, lots of love Suexxxx
  • suziev
    suziev Member Posts: 252
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    just want to say that i was sorry to hear your news, life is so unfair isn't it.
    want you to know you are in my thoughts today and i wish there was something that i could do or say to make you feel better.
    hang on in there.
    with love suzie x
  • minky67
    minky67 Member Posts: 2,328
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    hi Tam,so sorry to hear that terrible news.
    i know nothing about ra but i do know how it feels to lose a baby. :cry:
    my thoughts are with you & your partner .you know you have us all for any support you need.
    take care,
    luv debs
  • joyful164
    joyful164 Member Posts: 2,401
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Oh Tam, I really don't know what to say except how sad I am for you. To go through that period of time. My new daughter in law Sheryl lost her baby at 13 weeks just over a year ago. I'd like to think I know what you are going through. Any loss is heartbreaking.

    The next few days will be tough and I will be thinking of you.
    god bless
    joy
  • suncatcher
    suncatcher Member Posts: 2,174
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    oh tamn what can i say im so sorry to hear this :(:( just to offer you my sinserest condolances. cyber hugs to you and your partner. TLC from joanne
    Joanne
  • karinak
    karinak Member Posts: 113
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    So Sorry to hear your sad news Tam, I remember reading your post :( , I lost a baby at 32 weeks pregnant and often think of him so i know how you are feeling right now.
    Lots of hugs Karina x
  • nearlybionic
    nearlybionic Member Posts: 1,899
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi
    I am so sorry to hear your sad news.
    Give yourself time to grieve for this baby, and I hope that all goes well in the future xx
    NB
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