Hi Everybody - It is good to be back!! URGENT - need help

Rainbow77
Rainbow77 Member Posts: 352
edited 2. Dec 2009, 13:05 in Living with Arthritis archive
Hi everyone. It has been a long time and no posting for me. I have been very busy and I really miss chatting to all you guys.

My computer has died, so not been able to post - but I really need your help today. On a borrowed computer!!

I went back to work in January after being off for nearly 3 years. I have been back in the classroom, I have slowly built it up and this term, since September, I have been doing 3 days a week at school and then 1 day voluntary work for a Kids Club.

I really, really, love my work for the kids club - but school has now become a total nightmare for me. It is a 40 minute commute and my timetable is horrendous. I teach Year 8 for about 50% of it and was given more History. (I am a Geography teacher). I have soldiered on with it - from september, but about 2 weeks ago, I just could not cope with it all. I was getting to the point of not sleeping and worrying about it and just could not pull myself together to go in.

I think this year has taken it toll on me, getting back to work and trying to rebuild my life. I was very ill in the summer hols with an increase in my medication and I think that it has all got to me and now I feel like I have nothing left. I just feel like I can't keep going, as I feel totally worn out and exhausted.

I went to the drs 2 weeks ago and they signed me off with stress for 2 weeks and I am due back tomorrow. The first week, I just totally slept and I do feel better, but the panic about going back is setting in. I only have a contract until the 18th December - 3 weeks. But I just cannot pull myself togther enough to finish. I have tried talking myself round - but I can't. I know it sounds lame to say that I am feeling tired - but that is just how I feel.

So - (thanks if you are still reading) the big question. What shall I do? Go back to the drs and see if they will sign me off for a bit longer. Or shall I quit? JUst phone school and tell them I am not going back. Shall I just endure it for another 3 long miserable weeks - (but worried that I can't, what will happen - if I just lose it totally in the classroom with my delights?)

I have always soldiered on, been a survivor all my life, but I have just decided now that my life is so precious and it is not worth it.

Please help. What shall I do? I keep changing my mind.

Thanks everyone - I know I can count on you.

Fayann xxxxxxx

Comments

  • minky67
    minky67 Member Posts: 2,479
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi,I agree with Jan.
    go back to the gp,tell them how you feel & try to get signed off for a while longer.
    then rest up & think about what you really need to do.
    your exhausted & worry does nobody any good.

    You know how you feel & you know you cant carry on like this.
    the travelling is taking its toll on you too.
    so take some time out for you.
    hope things improve for you.
    luv debs
  • ritwren
    ritwren Member Posts: 928
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Fayann, hello I'm Rita and I've been here for a while now.From what I'm reading you have 2 problems at the moment.
    I. You are doing work you don't feel able to do.
    2. You may be having a flare up of your disease or at least you're feeling more tired and stressed than usual.
    I think you should go back to your GP and ask him to sign you off for a month. This will give you some breathing space and time to maybe make a start at sorting things out.

    Perhaps if you are feeling less stressed and tired you will be able to make a more informed dicision. Whatever you do do not hand in your notice.

    When you've been off another few weeks try to come back on the board, most librarys have free internet services. You could consider taking longer time off or discussing with your dept. head either reducing your hours or resheduling (sp) some of your classes.
    The important thing now is you getting better and feeling stronger.
    Hope you can let us know how you get on, we'll be wondering how you're doing.
    rita
  • jackie1955
    jackie1955 Member Posts: 858
    edited 1. Dec 2009, 05:01
    Hi there,
    Well all good advice from everyone as usual.

    I agree. Do NOT give your notice in. Go back to your gp, explain exactly how you feel, and I am sure he will give you a sick note to cover your remaining contract.

    Then, take a breather. Relax, rest up, and enjoy Christmas. Plenty of time to decide what to do. The first priority is your health and what you are able to do, without compromising it.

    Remember, nobody is making you do what you are doing - the decision is yours. Take comfort in just knowing that you can always say 'oh to hell with it' if you really want to! Its not a hangable offence! But going off sick via the gp and reassessing your future work prospects are a better option :)

    Let us know what happens.

    Jackie x
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 8,043
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Fayann

    So sorry to hear how you are at the mo. You have done so well. I have been on here a long time so do know how you have been and also how much you have achieved.

    I say, back to the docs for a sick note to tie you over the next three weeks. You presumably do not wish and they will presumably not choose to further your contract after this one ends. You need your sick note to cover you until that time. Do not call the school and resign.

    I do hope you will begin to feel much better soon. Probably when you have been to see the doc and it has been sorted you will be able to give a sign of relief and concentrate on getting yourself back on the road to recovery.

    Love
    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • kathbee
    kathbee Member Posts: 934
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Fayann

    Nice to see your post but not the content of course.
    Sorry you are having such a time of it.

    I would say you just arent strong enough for all of this.

    My daughter is a secondry school teacher and at one school
    a couple of years ago, she got into the same situation as you
    are in now. It made her ill and the doc put her on the sick
    for a while and then when it was time to go back she could not
    face it, the doc said to her, can you walk back into that school
    and she said no, so he told her, thats your answer then - resign.
    - She did and she now has a job at another school which is much
    easier on her nerves and well being, she feels a lot better and thats someonewho doesnt have the illnesses that you have.

    So why battle on I would say.
    Whats so great about being a martyr, not a lot,
    not sure everyone would agree with that but I think
    health comes first everytime.

    Go see your GP again.
    Hope all goes well for you
    Love Kath xx
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 12,150
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Fayanne,

    I am glad you have posted but so sorry you are feeling like this. I agree about going to see your doctor and tell him your not ready to go back yet. I really hope you soon start to,be feeling better and can get this sorted out. Take care Cris
  • sharmaine
    sharmaine Member Posts: 1,638
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Fayann

    You have some difficult decisions to make and they are not easy. From your email it sounds as if you're genuinely finding coping at work difficult. Commuting with arthur is difficult - I know I used to do it! I gave up my full time job last May after struggling on for a year. I was worried sick about it as we had just moved house but in the end it was the best decision I have ever made. Like yourself I loved my job (I worked in a school too and understand the demands and extra duties that involves), however, I was not coping physically and being on my feet such a lot; climbing stairs, commuting, the long day etc was just too much. It was a struggle getting there, a struggle while I was there a struggle just walking up stairs etc.

    It's obvious you need someone to talk too. Do you have a good friend or partner you could discuss this with? Your health and peace of mind is important. The school will also need to know etc. My OH was extremely supportive and understanding. Life is too short and when our health is involved decisions with regard to work etc can be difficult.

    Sharmaine


    Rainbow77 wrote:
    Hi everyone. It has been a long time and no posting for me. I have been very busy and I really miss chatting to all you guys.

    My computer has died, so not been able to post - but I really need your help today. On a borrowed computer!!

    I went back to work in January after being off for nearly 3 years. I have been back in the classroom, I have slowly built it up and this term, since September, I have been doing 3 days a week at school and then 1 day voluntary work for a Kids Club.

    I really, really, love my work for the kids club - but school has now become a total nightmare for me. It is a 40 minute commute and my timetable is horrendous. I teach Year 8 for about 50% of it and was given more History. (I am a Geography teacher). I have soldiered on with it - from september, but about 2 weeks ago, I just could not cope with it all. I was getting to the point of not sleeping and worrying about it and just could not pull myself together to go in.

    I think this year has taken it toll on me, getting back to work and trying to rebuild my life. I was very ill in the summer hols with an increase in my medication and I think that it has all got to me and now I feel like I have nothing left. I just feel like I can't keep going, as I feel totally worn out and exhausted.

    I went to the drs 2 weeks ago and they signed me off with stress for 2 weeks and I am due back tomorrow. The first week, I just totally slept and I do feel better, but the panic about going back is setting in. I only have a contract until the 18th December - 3 weeks. But I just cannot pull myself togther enough to finish. I have tried talking myself round - but I can't. I know it sounds lame to say that I am feeling tired - but that is just how I feel.

    So - (thanks if you are still reading) the big question. What shall I do? Go back to the drs and see if they will sign me off for a bit longer. Or shall I quit? JUst phone school and tell them I am not going back. Shall I just endure it for another 3 long miserable weeks - (but worried that I can't, what will happen - if I just lose it totally in the classroom with my delights?)

    I have always soldiered on, been a survivor all my life, but I have just decided now that my life is so precious and it is not worth it.

    Please help. What shall I do? I keep changing my mind.

    Thanks everyone - I know I can count on you.

    Fayann xxxxxxx
  • woodbon
    woodbon Member Posts: 4,969
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello, I agree with all thats been said, whatever you do, don't give in your notice. Get another certificate from the docs. I worked for the council and they terminated my contract because of ill health and gave me enhanced pension. I don't know if that applies to you, but if you give in your notice, it effects your dwp allowance and position with stamp credits and all that stuff, but if your employer terminates the contract, you are in a much better place. Its all very complicated, but I'm sure someone on here will know more than me. Anyway, you'r ill at the moment and need time off sick. :wink: Love Sue
  • jaspercat
    jaspercat Member Posts: 1,238
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Fayann, nice to see you back, sad though that things have turned bad for you, I agree with other people that you should see your gp asap, get him to sign you off sick for a while so that you can seriously think about what you want etc love Jaspercatxx
  • Wonkylegs
    Wonkylegs Member Posts: 3,504
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    HI Fayann,

    the others have said it all already, although I would add that you might get some good ideas for ways forward by ringing the Arthritis Care helplines people for a chat.

    I am sure you will not be their first (or last) person in such a situation who needs someone to talk it over with.

    I would definitely say go to the GP - but you know that already!!

    love and hugs and you know where I am if you want a chat.
    WOnky
  • carol101
    carol101 Member Posts: 677
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi

    I'm quite new here so don't know you but i do agree with the others. Go back to the gp, tell him what you've told us and get signed off. It's probably tempting to leave your job but not the way to go.

    I'm 35, have oa of the spine and still do a 40hr week in a physical job. A few weeks ago i was in a bad place, depression, pain, i'm sure you know what i mean. I was ready to leave my job as i felt i was having so much time off, i was a waste of space. I have been signed off God knows how many times this year but at the moment i am on the up. I am enjoying work again, looking forward to christmas and i feel i've got my life back.

    I have alway been the strong one in my family and, like you probably are now, found it hard to sit back and think about me and what i needed. It took me a while to learn how to do that but i put me before work, my husband and the rest of my family. Sometimes we have to be selfish, we need to re-charge our batteries.

    Hope you can post again soon to let us know how you're doing

    Carol xxx
  • Rainbow77
    Rainbow77 Member Posts: 352
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi everyone

    Thanks for your replies. I did go back to the drs yesterday and was signed off until the end of term. I saw a nurse practioner (another cost cutting NHS measure) but she was very nice. I explained my situation and she was very understanding and went through it all with me. She said that I need to rest and relax and go back in january and see her if I needed any more help or perhaps counselling.

    I had a temp contract as I was covering for a teacher who took a year sabbatical in New Zealand. So she will be back in the new year and so they won't renew my contract. I don't have any regrets about going back and giving it a go - I know my limits and it was too much.

    I feel so much better today already. I have got lots of offers of work in January - I am just deciding what I want to do. Will rest up, chill out and relax. Then decide. I just don't want to be miserable any more. I feel that I have a second chance with my life as I have my arthur under control for the mo.

    I have been to the hospital to have all my bloods checked to make sure there is nothing physical wrong.

    Thanks for all your help everyone.

    Fayann xxx

    Anyone feeling a bit christmassy yet?
  • Wonkylegs
    Wonkylegs Member Posts: 3,504
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    great to hear you sounding more positive - well done for a difficult decision.

    will email you soon.

    take care,
    WOnky
  • joyful164
    joyful164 Member Posts: 2,962
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello Fayann

    You seem to be in a terrible position, but I think everyone has given you good advice, however, maybe a talk to the helpline would be beneficial and maybe you should see a Councillor aswell.
    Someone to talk it all through with you, especially the stress element. Would your teachers' union set one up for you or could your GP.
    Reading your letter, I can feel the desperation, you want to teach but you are just not strong enough, even to make the slightest decision. You need someone to help you through it. As you have been away from it so long, perhaps you could follow another line of work, maybe adjudicating or something. But first of all you need to asked someone on the helpline.
    joy