lowest I have ever been
penfactor
Member Posts: 366
Hello I am so sorry to be so negative here but i really can't see a point in being positive any more. my partner has made it quite clear though obviously not in so many words that he is not going to be able to accept my disability - You know the way that people are when they don't want to be honest - I can understand to a certain extent but my life has been so bad & got so much harder - my Dad was fighting cancer for all last year but all this is is is spelling mistakes & blue lines & no-one there when you are really down & feeling pain & knowing that there really is no-one there.
I'm sorry I am on my own at moment & thought today was going to be such a good uplifting day cos that is what it said on the packet.
I'm sorry I am on my own at moment & thought today was going to be such a good uplifting day cos that is what it said on the packet.
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Comments
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Hi Pennie,
I am sorry to see you feeling like this. You have had a hell of a time of it this last year and it must all seem to be falling in at you. I wonder if your sure your partner is feeling that way or could it be that you are yourself thinking it? I know I think people are thinking something and I go distant and then become convinced they have but really it was me. Your still grieving and things can get hard when your doing that. I wish I could do more than just be on a pc screen for you but sending you a ((((( ))))) and am about if you need me. Cris xx.0 -
Dear Pennie
I am so very sorry to read your thread. You have had too much thrown at you this past year or so, with work issues, the death of your dear dad and the recent op, not being a success. That is three really huge, devastating negatives to take on board and it is no wonder you are having many very bad days. Your partner is probably distraught too, seeing you like this but men do not seem to be able to always communicate and help us, how we feel they should. It has been said quite often on this forum that men like to solve/fix things and with all that has been and is going on at the moment, he is unable to do that. Women tend to find it easier to talk and share their upsets and worries than men. They sometimes bury their head in the sand.
Being on your own today will not have helped because you will have been churning things over and over in your mind and building them up out of proportion.
Dear Pennie, I do hope you feel a little better tomorrow when it is light. Night time is always worse when we are extremely unhappy.
Do you think some councelling may help you and your partner too, if he is willing?
Please pm me if you wish to talk, you know where to find me.
Lots of love
Elna xThe happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.
If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.0 -
Oh, Pennie, luv .. I wish I could give you a cuddle. You've been through hell. Elna is right ... men do find it hard to show their emotions or their true feelings - it dents their macho image (or so they think). I've been married to my husband for 40 years, we've rowed, we've nearly split up, he's ranted on about my disability spoiling his life. Then .... the other day out of the blue, he bought me the first ever bunch of flowers and told me that he needed me.
I, too, hope you'll feel better today and will be able to cope a lot better. I'll be thinking about you. In the meantime ((((((( )))))))))
Do0 -
hi pennie
was so sorry to read how down you r at the moment. it seams to me you have plenty of reasons to feel this way. well it hard enough for us to get our heads around all this our partners must find the whole thing totally mind blowing so do not push him ,give him a chance to come to terms with it . we will be here to suport you if he does end up being a total prat about it. you need some one with you who will be able to support you have you any friends who will be there for you who will be able to understand what you r going through. do not rush into any thing just let your self come to terms with all that going on then make a discision about things when you have got your head together good luck i am sure better days will follow (((((hugs))))) to keep you goingval0 -
hi pennie
caring hugs to you i think arther always brings in another party to anybodys life and wether we like it or not he expects all the attention , some days more than others , it can take people a while to put him in his place ,i hope you 2 can find that place together xxxI know i am a lady ,all life is a journey xx MAY xx0 -
Oh, Pennie, I do hope you both find an answer.........it's never easy, my hubby has a lot to put up with and I worry that things are not as we expected at this time of our lives........then yesterday he told me he was taking me out on Valentine's Day.......he's never done that before!
Annie0 -
So sorry to read your sad post Pennie
Hope you can work things out between you
and that you will feel stronger and able to cope
very soon.
Love Kath0 -
Hi Pen,
Sorry to hear you are feeling down and that your relationship is an unhappy one at the moment.
I had the same problem with my ex-husband who couldn't and didn't accept my disabilities and used it against me. I felt terribly lonely because he was there physically but emotionally not and I wanted that support. At the time I wasn't strong enough to deal with it on my own so understand and empathise.
Sorry hear of about your father and his fight with cancer. It sounds like as a couple you have had a lot to deal with and sincerely hope you both can work it out.
Good luck hun, thinking of you x
Eve0 -
Hi Pen,
Can I just send you some gentle hugs((((((((((((())))))))))))) and to say I hope things inprove very soon for you, like Elna said men do find it hard to cope when things are taken out of therehands, and they cant control what is going on.
Do try and talk to him.
Lots of love
Barbara xxLove
Barbara0 -
Penny I wish there was something I could say to make it all better for you but of course there isn't. Seems to me though, from all the replies to your post, that you are really not alone and a lot of people are thinking of you and sending love. Add me to the list. Hugs Kate xx0
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sending you a great bit hug and hoping that you soon feel brighter.
It doesn't always feel this bad - honest.
with love & hugs
wonky0 -
Hi,#
I'm so sorry you are so down. Life is horrible sometimes. In the long run, I'm sure it WILL work out for you, but at the moment, just try and take each day, each hour even, as it comes. Thinking of you, Loads of love Sue xxxx0 -
Pennie, I cant begin to say how awful it is to hear what youve had to deal with. Men often dont understand that showing feelings isnt a sign of weakenss. I sincerely hope that you can work things out, you need support and comfort at the moment.
You know you have many friends on here, and we are always here for you.
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Hi Penny I know it's hard but try and be strong kid, I and others on here have deep sympathy and wall be here to help and support you as best we can, so keep using this site as it is a very very useful tool.0
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I strongly suggest alonside with your other health providers , you seek some counselling to help you through this very tough time
best wishes
paul xx0 -
Hi Pennie
I am so so sorry to read your post.
I wish i could help you more but really all I can promise is that you are not alone with all of us here caring about you and understanding what you are going through.
Pennie - you have been through such a lot none of which you deserve at all.
Please keep posting and take our support and caring.
and please do get yorself some support nearer home too
Love
Toni xx0 -
Hi Pennie,
Like the others, I am so sorry to hear you are having such a really difficult time.
I lost my dad to cancer last year and my mum the year before so I know how hard it is for you losing your dad in this way.
Coming to terms with arther & disability.... for us and our families....... is not easy, and sometimes the frustration, worry and helplessness spills over and leads to careless or hurtful words and actions. It is really important to be able to talk this through and I just hope that you are able to access some counselling that will help you both.
We are all here for you and you have our love and support. keep posting. iris x0 -
Pennie
I can't add to lovely comments on here which I hope help you to realise you are not on your own with all this. I know what an awful time you have had in recent months and just wanted to call in and send a few more hugs to add to the heap above. (((( ))))
I really hope things do work out for you and your partner. Do keep in touch.
Chris xx0 -
Pennie,
I can only echo Chris, and say that our thoughts are with you. I know today's moderator has pm'd you, and I hope that was helpful.
Jean1230 -
Hello everyone
I am so sorry once again for my being so low last night - thank you all so much for your replies, I can't tell you how much it means to see there are people out there who understand. My little family has been through so much this last year with stuff I can't even say on here & I think it all took it's toll on us yesterday finally. My partner this morning before work gave me a little Valentine present early to say sorry - a really sweet soft little teddy thing with a lovely message on his T-shirt & I have cuddled him all day. We have all, my lovely son too, been extra caring tonight of how we all feel & have promised to try be there for each other.
Elna - I am so sorry I have not been in touch since you home - I will look for your posts tomorrow & hoping you are coping ok & not having to dose up too much? Will be in touch tomorrow.
Am still struggling on - have to start complaint process to hosp soon cos that's what best mate thinks I have to do & have sadly had to give up work battle as just not strong enough to go through all the hoops there as well as everything else.
Thank you all again for your lovely support - I will be posting again tomorrow
love Pennie XXX0 -
love and hugs for you and your family and hope each day brings you closer together .xxxx Iris0
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Pennie, so glad you are feeling more positive and what a lovely thought your partner had!
Never despair..........when you reach rock bottom, there is only one way left to go.
Do hope you can all settle down, this is so not a good time of the year and this year it seems even worse.
Love and (((((()))))))
Annie0 -
so pleased things are a bit clearer for you all xxx take care xxxxxI know i am a lady ,all life is a journey xx MAY xx0
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Hi pennie
So very glad to see you posting - I have been very worried about you.
Your family has been through enough that I know about and I'm sure I don't know half of it.
You treasure that bear - see? He does love you very much, but it's been a hard time for him too.
Taking action might well be an idea if you feel strong enough and with the support of your friend.
We are always here for each other Pennie.
Please take care and look after yourself....
hey tell him you need an extra prezzie sunday too Only joking - who needs valentine's day to tell someone they love them
Love
Toni xx0 -
penfactor wrote:Elna - I am so sorry I have not been in touch since you home - I will look for your posts tomorrow & hoping you are coping ok & not having to dose up too much? Will be in touch tomorrow.
My dear Pennie
I have sent you a little pm.
Lots of love and hugs
Elna xThe happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.
If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.0
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