Re:Who hab!?

mellman01
mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
edited 22. May 2010, 17:35 in Community Chit-chat archive
Sorry I can’t do I can’t pull the post completely, my point is this site isn’t the same since dear old rehab went MIA or should I say banished into cyber oblivion for daring to loose the plot, I just think that we on here should forgive and forget a bit more than we do instead of squabbling over pathetic name calling etc, maybe he did have a small point I don’t know. There doesn’t seem to be any lea way for peoples personal situations, we on here are not what you could call normal, not due to some genetic mental impairment(well only me) but rather we are affected by long term pain and all the baggage that it brings.
All I know is that it with me it impairsmy tolerance levels and clouds my judgment but i have learnt from experience how insidiously it can do this, I guess an analogy would be road rage where the two people involved wont back down, from a small infraction they end up chasing each other engulfed in a red mist until they end up physically assaulting each other and it all started with a very minor infringement.
But if one of them just had the foresight and a mature sense of reasoning to just accept the other guy made a mistake and forgive him his error then there would have been no metaphorical fight and they would have both been on their way. You can't win all the battles even when you have been done wrong, sadly the world isn't fair.
This is how I tend to deal with things these day’s, it’s better to just let things go rather than start shouting and making things worse better to sit back and think a bit more, it makes a hell of a big difference and all I will say is for me pain and meds make my reasoning rather clouded at times, it’s only after the storm has passed can I see what I was up to and where it was taking me, I also get really snappy without really knowing it and that’s especially important to learn to recognise the warning signs before it get terminal.
After all the web robs us of one VITAL human cue/stimulus and that’s the visual one, we can’t see if the person we are engaged with is in pain or looks worn out or both, the other person on the other end could be crying their eyes out but we don’t know this, they could be in terrible pain but we can’t see it.
OK so someone made a mistake so what is it that bad that the other person can’t say OK so that’s your view I don’t agree with it but I wont argue instead I’ll ignore it and get on with my life, with luck and a bit of time you will see the error.
Sadly thins time it didn’t happen, and what made it worse people started to feed the flames by taking sides like kids forming a circle when a fight breaks out in the play ground, it’s not just the two on here who started to argue that are to blame we all are,
We could have all been more adult about things but we all weren’t, all I hope is we all learn from this recent little problem and we can learn to be more compassionate even when a wrong has been done to us, if we don’t we wont have a community as we do now but rather a bear pit akin to the house of commons and that’s not what I ever want to see on here, we are better than that.
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Comments

  • oneday
    oneday Member Posts: 1,434
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    the R word, thought it was a thread about rheumatism!!
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 22. May 2010, 03:25
    Sorry pixy I just thought I should post my views on a certain subject, I'm sorry if I upset anyone with it but I feel I needed to say something as in my mind this site has lost something since things went all silly. :roll:
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm with Jan on this....he really made us laugh...and sometimes cringe...but I dont think he will come back....unless he appears under another name...now would we know it was him...YEAH :shock: :):)
    Love
    Barbara
  • janie68
    janie68 Member Posts: 1,186
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I reckon he is still watching the forum, it is not a closed one, so he's about. You can still be part of things without posting.

    Janie
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    janie68 wrote:
    I reckon he is still watching the forum, it is not a closed one, so he's about. You can still be part of things without posting.

    Janie

    Oh no you mean the ghost of rehab haunts these cyber halls!, best call in the most haunted squad, hey hang on!, how can we film in infrared on a cyber forum? :roll:
  • annie_mial
    annie_mial Member Posts: 5,614
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I miss the silly old idiot, too..........

    Annie
  • janie68
    janie68 Member Posts: 1,186
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    mellman01 wrote:
    janie68 wrote:
    I reckon he is still watching the forum, it is not a closed one, so he's about. You can still be part of things without posting.

    Janie

    Oh no you mean the ghost of rehab haunts these cyber halls!, best call in the most haunted squad, hey hang on!, how can we film in infrared on a cyber forum? :roll:

    yeah why not, probably get better results than the original team!!
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    It is a shame this has all been brought up again. Rehab was asked to apologise, either on the forum or privately because he had overstepped the mark. He took the decision to leave, it was his choice.

    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    cant we all forgive and forget,,,,,,,,,,,,, life far to short and hate anyone to be unhappy Sad i know chris still reads so maybe Rehab dose too


    PLEASE GUYS I LOVE ALL YOU PEEPS THAT WERE INVOLVED AND MISS OUR MAD GROUP PLEASE COME BACK


    I agree, Jan. Life is far too short for petty disagreements, and it is sad if anyone feels that they can't be a member of this forum.
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Moan wail cry howl!, (not like a wolf!) snivel groan mutter bawl, then slowly sloutches off into the cyber mist.

    Anyway why is it a shame can't I mourn me old mate no empathy that's the problem with todays world!, no good cam of it, ths flippin bunkers been sold off and is now a lap dancing bar called razzel, I can't see an up side to that?, mind you that said there a foxy little asian babe called Moi who's a real foxy chic!, Oh sorry didn't mean to say that!. :mrgreen: :oops:
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    COME BACK, MELL :!: :!: We don't want you disappearing into cyber oblivion as well :!:
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • snowball
    snowball Member Posts: 3,465
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Mel I miss him too he never faild to make me laugh even when I didn't feel like laughing.
    Jan your right life is too short, a friend of mines husband had a heart atack and died. He was only 39, they've got two young boys. The thing is I know his best friend from school and they had fallen out, and I know he wishes he had made up with him.

    Mels right about pain it makes us snappy and you can't see what peeps are going through, these past couple of months I've been at my lowest and it was not nice and I don't think I would have got through it without the peeps on here, so thankyou.

    Julie
    ((((hugs)))) n xxxxx to ya all
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I'm still here Joan, well just, now anyone know how to find a slug that's been causing mayhem in me greenhouse,little blighter is eating all me seadlings!
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Mel

    Was it necessary to mention wolf? If Rehab was such a good buddy of yours you would know of others ways of contacting him.

    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • joanlawson
    joanlawson Member Posts: 8,681
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Mell's main point was this:

    I just think that we on here should forgive and forget a bit more than we do [ quote Mellman ]

    Both Rehab and Chris were valued members of the forum, so I hope they will both return.

    Joan
    c1b3ebebbad638aa28ad5ab6d40cfe9c.gif
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    joanlawson wrote:
    Mell's main point was this:

    I just think that we on here should forgive and forget a bit more than we do [ quote Mellman ]

    Both Rehab and Chris were valued members of the forum, so I hope they will both return.

    Joan
    joanlawson wrote:
    Aw Elna, don't be hard on Mell. I'm sure he has got other ways of contacting Rehab, but his main point was this;

    I just think that we on here should forgive and forget a bit more than we do [ quote Mellman ]

    Both Rehab and Chris were valued members of the forum, so I hope they will both return.

    Joan

    Hi Joan :)

    I hope both return too. I think we are all being most uncaring of each other regarding this particular scenario where one person was unnecessarily, venomously attacked for all to read - I wonder what others would have felt if it had been them. That is how I looked at it. There is absolutely no excuse in my book, for that type of behaviour, without an apology.

    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    We're all adults. Some of us are more adult than others. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • mellman01
    mellman01 Member Posts: 5,306
    edited 22. May 2010, 13:36
    Opinion has caused more trouble on this little earth than plagues or earthquakes.

    Voltaire

    Or another favourite of mine.

    tironey reigns when good men do nothing

    So as far as I know this site isn't a dictatorship so why not ask the people what they want then?, one person can't or should not dictate to all the others who comes on here or who's name we can or can't say, OK a wrong has been done we all know by who to who so what's the problem aern't we all adults here?, forcing someone to humiliate themselves in public is akin to putting them in the stocks or holding a public flogging only a few people will get off on it I wont that's for sure and it wont alter the facts now will it, we all no rehab made a grievous mistake bloody hell half the free world knows it!, so lets get on with our lives.

    so democratically I get one vote and I say I

    Over to the next citizen.
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    mellman01 wrote:
    Moan wail cry howl!, (not like a wolf!) snivel groan mutter bawl, then slowly sloutches off into the cyber mist.

    Anyway why is it a shame can't I mourn me old mate no empathy that's the problem with todays world!, no good cam of it, ths flippin bunkers been sold off and is now a lap dancing bar called razzel, I can't see an up side to that?, mind you that said there a foxy little asian babe called Moi who's a real foxy chic!, Oh sorry didn't mean to say that!. :mrgreen: :oops:


    well i miss him as well do keep in touch with him and know he misses every one he has been a good pal to me and never turn my back on pals . mel you were right to post what you felt he was not banned so no reason not to mention him rehab you are missed by lots of us. val
    val
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Right. The boil had a scab, it's been picked, we're off again.

    Mell, I understand your feelings but rehab flounced, in a very cowardly way, taking chris with him. THEIR CHOICE.

    Elna, you are correct. Rehab did/said something so unreasonable and unforgivable, but lacks the courage to apologise. We're better off without him. (by the way rehab, presuming you're watching, humming chorus from Madame Butterfly. Unusual choice for a chav supermarket chain.)

    I am a relative newby to these forums, but who, or what, gave him-whose-name-shall-not-be-typed authority to 'grade' grumps? Arrogant **** - and everyone let him get away with it.

    We don't know each other. We all have one thing in common - the OUTRAGEOUS and APPALLING disease of arthritis. That's it. Stick us all in a cocktail party and we would probably loathe each other on sight. There is a bond, and one we should not undermine by being prats.

    'Nuff said. I will look at your condemnatory ande incensed postings tomorrow. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    dreamdaisy wrote:
    Right. The boil had a scab, it's been picked, we're off again.

    Mell, I understand your feelings but rehab flounced, in a very cowardly way, taking chris with him. THEIR CHOICE.

    Elna, you are correct. Rehab did/said something so unreasonable and unforgivable, but lacks the courage to apologise. We're better off without him. (by the way rehab, presuming you're watching, humming chorus from Madame Butterfly. Unusual choice for a chav supermarket chain.)

    I am a relative newby to these forums, but who, or what, gave him-whose-name-shall-not-be-typed authority to 'grade' grumps? Arrogant **** - and everyone let him get away with it.

    We don't know each other. We all have one thing in common - the OUTRAGEOUS and APPALLING disease of arthritis. That's it. Stick us all in a cocktail party and we would probably loathe each other on sight. There is a bond, and one we should not undermine by being prats.

    'Nuff said. I will look at your condemnatory ande incensed postings tomorrow. DD

    we asked him to as he got best whit for it he did not take it on himself
    val
  • trisher
    trisher Member Posts: 9,263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Rehab was no coward. NO not at all will not have that said about him.

    I miss him a lot too. He was good friend to me when my hubby nearly died
    .He was a good friend to me when he found out I lost my younger son who was a soldier and was killed a little over a year ago.

    Some do not know him as well as we do. Why? Because he did it by PMing me so no one knew exactly what he did. I will never forget that but he was no coward. He was a soldier through and through.

    I also lost my other good friend Chris, who I want to come back as well. sShe was a good friend to me as well. I will never forget what she did to help me.

    Both were really kind people so please come back, the dust will never settle until they do.

    Trish
  • trisher
    trisher Member Posts: 9,263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Dream Dasie

    The grump Thread was supposed to be funny but you were not here when it was started so you do not really know do you?

    If you knew what he was like why did you post on there?

    Rebab was not a grumpy old ****
  • barbara12
    barbara12 Member Posts: 21,281
    edited 22. May 2010, 15:08
    dreamdaisy wrote:
    Right. The boil had a scab, it's been picked, we're off again.

    Mell, I understand your feelings but rehab flounced, in a very cowardly way, taking chris with him. THEIR CHOICE.

    Elna, you are correct. Rehab did/said something so unreasonable and unforgivable, but lacks the courage to apologise. We're better off without him. (by the way rehab, presuming you're watching, humming chorus from Madame Butterfly. Unusual choice for a chav supermarket chain.)

    I am a relative newby to these forums, but who, or what, gave him-whose-name-shall-not-be-typed authority to 'grade' grumps? Arrogant **** - and everyone let him get away with it.

    We don't know each other. We all have one thing in common - the OUTRAGEOUS and APPALLING disease of arthritis. That's it. Stick us all in a cocktail party and we would probably loathe each other on sight. There is a bond, and one we should not undermine by being prats.

    'Nuff said. I will look at your condemnatory ande incensed postings tomorrow. DD
    HI DD...you should check your facts......Rehab was kind and supportive to many people..has for the grump thread..that was all in fun....has alot of this forum is.....what he said about wulf was wrong..but that was between them...has for Chris she is such a caring person she got caught up in all this by speaking out for wulf she knew this was the right thing to do.
    Has for us being prats....then that is your opinion...rehab went without apologising but he went.If he came back he would be welcomed has everyone is on this forum.
    Maybe if we let it take it own course then it will find its own level.
    Love
    Barbara
  • angel1
    angel1 Bots Posts: 1,464
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I absolutely refuse to be drawn into the Rehab versus Wulf scenario. As I said at the time, they are grown men, who made their own choices. The Forum has rules, and the moderators decided that they had been broken..

    What I would like to say - and have wanted to for some time, but she wouldn`t let me! - is that Chris should NEVER have had to stop posting. In my opinion, she is the one who has suffered the most here. Her post explaining her position was concise, informative, and polite. I would like HER to be asked back. She broke no rules, but is missing us all.........Ange.......Sorry Chris, don`t shout at me.......HM.
This discussion has been closed.