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  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I think my friend getting married has made me feel whats wrong with me. I know we are a team (although i am more Argentina and he is more North Korea if you know what I mean) and you dont have to be married to succeed but I think i do need it now. No big expense needed just a signed bit of paper.

    You are all right in a way. But i have the 3 children and many of my friends have not had children for whatever reason so i am lucky really.

    i spent a lovely afternoon with the happy couple, much love and laughter, champers, footie etc. They said they will work on him!
    and i didnt cry.....

    Feeling better now.
    Much love
    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    angel1 wrote:
    At the end of the day sweetie, public commitment or not, it can all be taken away in a heartbeat.

    Cherish what you have, for as long as you have it.........Much love........Ange.

    I do think about this often and I do think about you often.
    X
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • maud48
    maud48 Member Posts: 170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Elizabeth so sorry you are unhappy and hope that what everyone has said has made you feel better. Personally I wish I'd never got married and only did so becuase of parental pressure. I think it's much more romantic to be together because you want to be and not because of a meaningless piece of paper.
    maudxx
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    maud48 wrote:
    Elizabeth so sorry you are unhappy and hope that what everyone has said has made you feel better. Personally I wish I'd never got married and only did so becuase of parental pressure. I think it's much more romantic to be together because you want to be and not because of a meaningless piece of paper.
    maudxx

    I am better now. I ve got things of my chest. I am sorry to read how you are feeling Maud.Nobody wants to be in a situation to please others.
    Much love
    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • valval
    valval Member Posts: 14,911
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    it does not matter if you live together or get married so long as it is what both of you want it when one wants something different that trouble appears. you have to work at it either way if something worth having it worth working for val
    val
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Dear Elizabeth

    I am so pleased to read that you are feeling better now and that a good afternoon was had by all.

    Night, night, sleep well, :)

    Love
    Elna x(())
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • lindalegs
    lindalegs Member Posts: 5,393
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Elizabeth,

    Why don't you propose to him?

    Luv Legs :D
    Love, Legs x
    'Make a life out of what you have, not what you're missing'
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    lindalegs wrote:
    Hi Elizabeth,

    Why don't you propose to him?

    Luv Legs :D

    I did once but circumstances were difficult at the time. My beautiful, classic car had been stolen off the drive and left a burnt out wreck at the bottomn of the road and I was trying to cheer him up! He didnt anwer. :cry:

    The presure is on him he is well aware- in a man -way how I feel.

    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    delboy wrote:
    I was a bit wary when marrying SWMBO, a failed previous marriage and seeing friends who had happily lived together for years divorcing after a couple of years of marriage didn't help. Parental pressure on SWMBO tipped the balance otherwise I believe that we would still be 'living in sin'.

    You definitely need to sit down and have a long chat with OH and tell him how you feel but don't make ultimatums give him choices.

    Yes ultimatums are never going to work. It has to be subtle suggestions.But I dont think that is going to work either.He is in the frame of mind that I am going to take the house once married!

    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    elnafinn wrote:
    Dear Elizabeth

    I am so pleased to read that you are feeling better now and that a good afternoon was had by all.

    Night, night, sleep well, :)

    Love
    Elna x(())

    Thankyou so much Elna. I had a lovely time. I was helped by my friends sympathy rather than them ignoring it.We all had a laugh about the way things have turned out. The bride and I were great friends before R.A stopped me socialising and to think we could end up with the same name made us all laugh.
    Oh babysat so I had time alone too which was a rare treat.
    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • angel1
    angel1 Bots Posts: 1,464
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I was about to say yesterday that I wondered if hubby had some issues of his own, maybe from a previous relationship.

    From what you now offer regarding the house, it would seem that he has. This being the case Elizabeth, I would advise caution. He obviously is going down the "if it ain`t broke, don`t fix it" route. Until he is able to face his problem with trust, you may open a can of worms. He is the only one who can deal with his insecurities........Much love........Ange.
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,453
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Elizabeth

    So glad you are feeling ok-er now and that you had a lovely time - you do deserve it.

    Just a thought - some people do take their partner's name by deed-poll.

    Wouldn't affect his 'rights' over the house.

    Lots of Love

    Toni xx
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    frogmorton wrote:
    Elizabeth

    So glad you are feeling ok-er now and that you had a lovely time - you do deserve it.

    Just a thought - some people do take their partner's name by deed-poll.

    Wouldn't affect his 'rights' over the house.

    Lots of Love

    Toni xx

    I could do I suppose.I am still using first husbands name as couldnt be bothered to change everything on cheque books etc. Also my 2 older girls have this name so I thought it would help them.
    Hope everything is well with you and your daughter.

    E x
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Options
    angel1 wrote:
    I was about to say yesterday that I wondered if hubby had some issues of his own, maybe from a previous relationship.

    From what you now offer regarding the house, it would seem that he has. This being the case Elizabeth, I would advise caution. He obviously is going down the "if it ain`t broke, don`t fix it" route. Until he is able to face his problem with trust, you may open a can of worms. He is the only one who can deal with his insecurities........Much love........Ange.

    He sees the stories in the papers. I going to have to pm you about the can of worms.....
    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,453
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    tkachev wrote:
    frogmorton wrote:
    Elizabeth

    So glad you are feeling ok-er now and that you had a lovely time - you do deserve it.

    Just a thought - some people do take their partner's name by deed-poll.

    Wouldn't affect his 'rights' over the house.

    Lots of Love

    Toni xx

    I could do I suppose.I am still using first husbands name as couldnt be bothered to change everything on cheque books etc. Also my 2 older girls have this name so I thought it would help them.
    Hope everything is well with you and your daughter.

    E x

    Ah yes! I know what you mean about the other kids' name....I do :(

    Charlie is ok ish really Thanks -- managed most of the school day so far but is very very tired still.....in bed by 7/8 :shock: unusual for a 15yr old eh? :wink:

    Waiting for referral to neurologist - then I will be happy.

    Thanks E

    Love

    Toni xx
  • maud48
    maud48 Member Posts: 170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Elizabeth I'm absolutley fine, sorry to make you think I'm not.
    When I got married (40 years ago- help!!!) I'd just come out of a live-in relationship with someone else ( was being a hippy in London). I bowed to parental pressure as I knew on both sides our relationship wouldn't have been accepted otherwise.
    It's really not that important to me whether I am married or not, but in retrospect I would have been stronger and stood up for what I believed in.
    I expect we've all got lots of things in our lives, that looking back on we'd have done differently.
    Anyway I'M GOOD I'M CHEERFUL and didn't mean to suggest otherwise,
    maudxx
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