Bittersweet Week

elainebadknee

Hi All

Me Again .....
This week has been one of ups and downs but i will be positive and say the up is better than the down.....
As most of you may know through my previous posts, i deliberated about applying for a job which i did last xmas and thought I had done a good job as when leaving my line manager told me "your workrate has been excellent and we would welcome future applications from you"......Now maybe I take people too much at thier word but that interpreted to me as - we liked your work, if you apply again we think it would be a good idea.....
I did duly apply and it said on advert if hadnt heard within 14 days of closing date wouldnt be successful...I also declared my arthritic knee as i have had surgery this year and may need it again next year......I declared it cos im honest and last year i did have to hide my stick to begin with....Honesty is always my policy......Now i didnt expect to get the job just ocs of last year but i wanted to attend interview as it would be new ground and i havent applied for any other jobs as its scary,i knew this place, or so I thought......There is only 24hrs to go till unsuccessful date and i decided to phone up to ask if my declaration had made a difference.....I got told about the lots of apps which i know happens, but i couldnt help but think the only thing different about my app was my declaration......I got told this wouldnt matter but they didnt sound convincing...So they are supposedly going to find out what stage process is at, call me back (dont hold my breath)......And give me feedback as it does concern me...I mean if the government want me to go back to work between surgery do they really feel people akin to me will get a fair bite of the cherry? If the 2tics are on advet its better but without it youre in no mans land.....
I realise too im a tad emotional about me...I had good 2nd opinion this week and lots of folk on here left good luck messages and i was touched, tears in eyes....I was also getting a bit teary today...I think im in unchartered territory, im not the Elaine i was and maybe i havent come to terms with that.....So perhaps with hindsight im not fit for any workplace......I dont know......I know i post a lot on here and other folks have it lots worse...I just wanted to repay my mum n dad back a bit and try to work while i can but it seems im not as resepctively held as i first was led to believe. I dont even know what sort of reference they would give me now, did they just keep me on last year cos they couldnt get rid of me cos of gammy leg...I know, mind is in overdrive!!!

Elainexx

dreamdaisy

The most important thing is that you applied. Job applications go one of two ways and there is never any guarantee of success, but at least you applied. Keep your eyes open, you may well find that something else pops up which you could do, so try again. Having said that you don't know yet that you haven't got this one - don't expect to fail, and don't fail to expect. You just never know . . . DD

barbara12

Hi Elaine
You have so much going on, know wonder you get emotional, everything must be weighing you down at the minute.
You never know, there is still a chance they will send for you, but if they dont, something will come along, sometimes by missing out on one thing, something better can come along.
You keep coming on here and talking about it, like I keep say , I am a great believer in getting things of your chest.
Sending you loads of hope and hugs ((((((())))))
Love
Barbara xx

hileena111

Hi Elaine,
You dont know you havent got it yet......be positive. I would have taken them at their word as well. At the moment how many people dont get jobs or a reply to their applications.....people who have not a thing wrong with them.Would you rather get it because they were forced to take someone with a disabilty on or not get it?
Sorry oif thats harsh. Still need you for pocket duty LOL
As for always being on here and people worse off than you....pain is pain is pain {whether physical or emotional} we are all {including you} here for everyone are we not.....Lecture over 8)
Love
Hileena

ironic

Hi Elaine,
First of all I would like to say that I was sooo pleased that your appointment went so well. You really did well there. Hope you and your dad have recovered from such a long day.
Great that you have your own bed back. Free from flying insects I hope!!
Fingers crossed that you get the phone call tomorrow. It's been a long wait for you. Lets hope things come in three's and you get a good result there aswell.

Lv, Ix

psyart

Hi Elaine

dont you think that pain makes you emotional?? times change as well and may be if you feel you have then look for something different?
we have to keep trying at somethings - our lives change us so much and if we stopped trying then what would we do?? does that make sense??

((((((hugs )))))))) to help you

Louise xx

elainebadknee

Hi

Well yes I know the important thing is applying but I wouldnt have if the person hadnt encouraged me to do so with their compliments......
I am not stupid, I know that i havent been selected for interview and I would have at least liked that opportunity to put myself across as a resilient person.....

Elainex

elainebadknee

Hi Barbara

Well I mean have I? At least I got a home, no domestic bill worries....
I know they wont send for me and I wont get an answer, just get fobbed off and thats what irks me, I can take constructive criticism but I cant deal well with not knowing the truth and it seems something is amiss....It reminds me of my job at witness care unit where i was encouraged to apply only to be told at a later date I should never have been interviewed, it was only out of courtesy....

Thanks for listening and providing ugs....

Elainex

elainebadknee

Hi Hileena

Well yes I do, just like I knew that consultant was wrong to try remove my kneecap, I know......Its funny but last year a fellow worker at same place called David got a job in our data entry team.....He had worked there year before but on phones....They treated him like dirt, he was slow but was paid great attention to detial....he applied for 2 jobs and got turned down for both....I didnt apply cos I was awiaitng surgery but I also wasnt the trainer (supervisors) pet group....She had a great influence on who got permanent jobs, I had the feeling even if hadnt had surgery I wouldnt have been one of those even though I never had a cross word with any of my colleagues....
The point you make would they give it to me just cos of my disability...At this point in time I would refuse interview cos they would only do it cos Id questioned them and I wont be anyones 2nd choice....

Sol and I are more than willing for pocket duty......
Elainex

elainebadknee

HI I

Thanks and im pleased about my appointment, I got my dad a nice bottle of red wine to thank him today.......Also back in own bed insect free!
I know I wont hear about job I doubt if they will even answer me but I like the truth I........I cant take it and digest it rather than the non truth...

Elainex

elainebadknee

HI Louise

I think pain does make people emotional yes youre right.......Re something different, well I did that a few years ago...Used to be a shop assistant and got tired of it so retrained in typing, computer etc...Wouldnt know where else to look now...........
Im not sure if I quite get your drift on last point, probably being a tad thick but please enlighten....

Elainex

Thanks for ugs

skezier

Hi Elaine,

I not so good with the eye sight tonight but just wanted to also say I am glad your appointment went well.

I don't know what its like up there but here they say for every job there are at least 18 applicants. It does mean its harder to get an interview.

I am sorry I can't read very well but leaving you a ((( ))) and a bucket of hopes that things will sort out for you. Hang in there. Cris x

airwave

Its a sad fact of life that there are an awful lot more people to get employed before they get round to needing us! However, I am a believer, that things happen for a reason, if we are positive, then positive things will happen for us. All, a glass half full stuff, I know, but its better than being sad.

I get to do loads of things, the 'working' elite can only dream of! Better get back to bed, am going to see friends tomorrow, followed by a boys night out, hic!

8) Its a grin, honest!

elainebadknee

HI Cris

Thanks and yes appointment did go well, thats what i mean by a bittersweet week......

I know also that there's lots of people applying.

elainex

elainebadknee

HI

I am aware that there are all sorts wanting to be employed...I feel I was set up for a kind of fall here by being encouraged by ex line manager...........
Im afraid I dont agree with you re the working elite, I feel I can still work if given chance and Im not ready to lead a stagment life, which is what I feel is happening just now........


Elaine

dorcas

Hi Elaine

It's a really hard place to be.... feeling that you might not work again. :roll:
I know I've found it difficult coming to terms with having to retire early on ill health and the prospect of no longer having that 'role' of being 'employed'. :shock:

But 6mths down the line I do not feel shelved or useless...it takes a change in mindset and direction, yes, but not being able to work I've discovered does not mean being put out to pasture. (not yet anyway ) and there a lot of things that I am now free to consider.

I can understand your annoyance and feelings of being let down by your previous employer... I would feel the same in your shoes. If the company has stated in their recruitment pack that they guarantee an interview for anyone who's disabled... then they have not fulfilled their own obligations under their 'positive discrimination ' policy.

Is it worth pursuing? that's up to you Elaine.... personally I wouldn't look back at them. :roll:

Big question is Elaine...... are you able to work? what does your doc say? you have the prospect now of surgery so maybe the 'work issue' needs setting aside until after the op and recovery period :arrow: and you maybe should be looking at what benefits and support you are entitled to just now.

I'm sorry if I sound like a clucky hen..... I know I lapse into that at times, but it's because I care.

love and (((hugs)))

Iris xx

elainebadknee

Hi Iris

I think it is not knowing how to present myself in an interview/work situation as this is what the government want me to do, whether thats in between or during surgery...They see me as fit and capable for work.....
I suppose its last throw of dice for me, never had a brilliant job all my working life, found myself in two bullying situations in workplaces and now two where I have been encouraged to apply and they had no intention of ever taking me seriously.....Thats how it seems....I want to contribute to our household but Im not and right now I cant see how its going to be....The connect to work advisor couldnt give 2 hoots, I have left messages for her twice this week for advice she returned none of them.....
I do feel really let down by Lakeland who say they are an equal opportunites employer, but they dont display the 2 ticks which should guarantee you an interview, palces like NHS and such do.....
They do state in their pack that they dont discriminate but nothing has changed on my CV but that box and declaration so I can see no other reason...They also tell you if you aint successful dont bother applying to them in future again.
My doctor agrees with the DWP that I am fit for work, so she doesnt ereally get how much life has changed, how can she sitting in an office earning £100,000?So im destined to be a jobseeker but how cna i be the same as all other jobseekers, i dont get that, i do have limitations....
I appreciate your clucking and i know you care and its one of the nicest things to happen to me, my buddies on here....I mean that genuinly.....

Thanks for all support...

Elainexx

skezier

Hi Elaine,

I know how hard it is as well. It happened to me in my 20's when they branded me unemployable. Its a horrible feeling and I remember feeling so angry both at the world and the person that called me that, he was the doctor they sent me to after I was operated on to see if I qualified for benefits.... Oh I messed up the next bit so badly! I wouldn't have it and wouldn't renew my green card etc... what a fool eh?!

It does change Elaine I promise you and maybe the employee who suggested it really did think you would get the job?

You will get there flower and I wish I could tell you how. Another ((( ))) and a ton f hopes it comes good for you. Cris x

dorcas

Elaine,

go back to the docs.... tell them how you really are, tell them about the awful pain and that you're now waiting for an op (she should know that now) and ask for a medical certificate... the doc can grant them for 3mths.

you then apply for the dreaded ESA and go through that fiasco.... but it's better than being on jobseeker's for you and not being fit for work.... which you're not just now.

things have changed Elaine.... thanks to a very good consultant so you need to make a different application to dwp. It feels awful going to the docs for a certificate but it is necessary!... be polite but assertive. docs are human too and sometimes need a nudge in the right direction.

you can do this Elaine.!

Iris xxx [/i]

frogmorton

Hi elaine

I have had two goes at writing to you, but I think I will just sa it from the heart and hope it comes out ok.....


I get what you are saying - I think Totally.

they want you to work and say you are fit for work, but you cant get work because of your health.

it makes me very very angry the way benefits are at the moment the way peopel are put between a rock and a hard place.

I am sorry it is so shift :x

Cris does know what it feels like to be written off like she was

The whole system stinks.

We all do care - true and what would we do without each other? I dread to think.

I am very very pleased about the knee decision though. Rather takes the thrill out of it though the work issue.

Take a bit of time and I think you will rally yourself and come up with a new plan.

Love and huge hugs

Toni xx

hileena111

Hi Elaine
It sounds as if..."if your face doesnt fit" thats it as far as th job i concerned?
Love
hileena

elainebadknee

I have heard from the two faced gits.....I got told all the speel about the fact that people who had had recent customer service experience had beaten me....My time there meant nothing at all, not one iota.......I even asked about a reference and got told they would state when i worked there, for how long, that was it, not a favourable one or not.....Completely nondiscript......
The person who stated "an application from yourself would be welcomed" was talking a pile of ****.........And I am annoyed, I wasnt anything, just a body, a number to be counted....No more.....

Sorry am too upset to post more....

Elaine

frogmorton

Elaine

you poor thing

I am so so so sorry.

I am also very angry about all of it.

You please take care - please try to do something nice to take your mind off it and give yourself time to get over it.

I am in fact livid :x

HUGE hugs

from Toni xx

Some for Sol too - incase you need some from him :?

hileena111

Awww Elaine...I'm so sorry.....you dont want to be there anyway....but I know thats not the point.
Is there anything you can do to take your mind off it.
When I came home from the hospital yesterday and had this MRI and the results of it eg would they cancel my hip op? hanging over me I felt dreadful. peter was going to do some work quite late ..well about 5.30pm and he dropped my and my faithful scooter [the paddymobile] off at the metro center and picked me up a couple of hours later....that made such a difference....didnt buy anything except coffee but it cheered me up

Think is there anything you can do to take your mind off it
Love
Hileena

elainebadknee

Hi Cris

Well im in comlete no mans land now....I mean if i dont even make interview and my cv hadnt changed (i had no little or less customer experience last year as did a typing job not seeing public)......then how on earth do i fair elsewhere.....?

So im ill, but not ill enough to qualify for ESa, im supposedly good at old job but not good enough a 2nd year round?
I cant make sense of it??

Elainex

elainebadknee

Hi Iris

Re the doctor, well she compounded and sided with ATOS/DWP as she think i can get work but with support...which planet is she living on?
I dont get applying for ESA? Im already on it, but not really, im one of the scroungers that are spoken about in the paper every day, someone who maybe doesnt even have the right to be on here maybe...If you saw me in the street, maybe youd think i was fit n healthy....

The new consultant was good but this is hurtful n kind of personal this, its soured my week....Plus im all expended out...

Elainex