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I feel yuck

theresa4theresa4 Posts: 696
edited 8. Oct 2010, 11:10 in Living with Arthritis archive
Well Im not having much luck I feel really ill again , worn out, and shaky. The pains in my jjoints are horrendous but the fog from pain relief is becomming tiresome i just cant win. I would happily curl up in my bed but we have workmen in drilling and banging so no sleep anyway. p0114.gif
I am supposed to finish a short course at the end of next month but havent even read the books as I am struggling to concentrate to read let alone write a assignment on the material
t10011.gif

So much for this preparing me to finish my degree next year I have registered but not sure I can do it
b0403.gif
hey these smiles are fun
sorry for such anotrher negative post i just cant seem to lift myslef out of this slump

Theresa
There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those. --Michael Nolan



Theresa xxx
«1

Comments

  • skezierskezier Posts: 12,150
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Theresa,

    Tis only negative if it doesn't help you to post it...... See we all have these huge fears. worries, and feel swamped at times and here is a good place to take the lid off so you don't just biol over.

    I know where your coming from but not so good at knowing about degrees... I did a 'joke' one when I was younger and not so challenged condition wise.

    Louise (Psyart) had a similar problem back along and she talked t them. I think if you go and see your Tutor (thy may not be called that now a days) and talk to them you might be able to sort something out to help you?

    I wish I knew the answers for you but sending a ((( ))) and a bucket of hopes things get easier for you and you start to feel better son. Cris x
  • theresa4theresa4 Posts: 696
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    HI Chris
    Thanks
    I did talk to my tutors but as it is an OU degree its modular. I already get support for being disabled but its just not enough right now but I dont htink there is much else they can do for me. I coulkd wait another year in the hope I will 'be better next year' but Ive already done that for 2 years and delayed my exam 2 years too but still Im in the same place if not worse. I dont want a bad mark as it is this last course that determines if I can get a 2nd or a 3rd. obviously I want a 2:2 I did start pushing for a 2:1 and was on course but as my RA took hoild my grades got worse year by year til here I am pushing for a 2:2 if Im lucky :cry: :x

    IM just so sick of feeling like this I want my life back (can you see me stamping my feet) t2409.gifIm like a petulant child. I know realistically this is probably it for me but a girl can dream :roll:
    Theresa x
    There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those. --Michael Nolan



    Theresa xxx
  • frogmortonfrogmorton Posts: 26,210 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Theresa

    Workmen disturbing you says today Is NOT the right day for using the brain :?

    I know what you mean about the course - when does it have to be in?

    Can you work out what time of the day is 'best' for you? Then use that time - even if it is only an hour - every day without fail.

    Please dont give up now - you are so close and such a good role model for your kids :)

    LOve

    Toni xx
    Love

    Toni xxx
  • airwaveairwave Posts: 394
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Yeah, give it another day THEN run headlong at the problem, it'll seem so small its nothing. Don't give up, you're doing that degree for all of us that don't! You get to wear your degree on your smile and we'll all come along and cheer! Too many apostrophes but you get the idea.

    8)Its a grin, honest!
  • skezierskezier Posts: 12,150
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Theresa,

    I know so much what you mean! Its not easy flower but try and remember you will have times when you don't feel like this and they are just around the corner. I wish I could remember what Loise was doing on her one but she might come in later and be able to help.

    I had a lot of counselling and it helped me to come to terms with the c*** that these conditions brings. Its all an individual journey for us but please remember you have this lot as a safety net and they wont let you fall.

    I so wish I knew what to say but sending you a ((((( ))))) and hopefully tomorrow you will feel a bit less drained and it will turn the corner for you. Another ((( ))) Cris also doing a foot stamp dummy spit .... hey stamp gently flower... it hurts to thump it down :lol::lol: xx
  • dorcasdorcas Posts: 3,538
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Theresa,

    sorry you're feeling so yuckkk!!! :(

    the books you've to read..... can you cut corners and google to see if there are 'critiques' of the books that you can use for your assignment? it would save you time and energy. :wink:

    the idea :idea: of setting aside time in the day when you're at your best is a good one... If you're trying to work and there are a hundred distractions and you're feeling tired it's no wonder it feels like a mountain left to climb.

    If you're having trouble reading.. could someone read the books to you? some folks learn by listening rather than reading and you wouldn't be so tempted to drift off with someone there giving you support. :wink:

    What degree is it you're doing?
    getting your degree is something that is your own achievement so I do hope that you can find a way to complete the coursework despite arther's worst efforts!.

    love and strength

    Iris xxx
  • theresa4theresa4 Posts: 696
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    HI
    Its in Pyschology
    the course books are not general population I did have the books on tape but I used to fall asleep with them on. I take in better (or I did used to) when I physically read myself.

    At the minute I dont really feel very well at any time of day but am going to try get 1/2 hour twice a day as I think an hour would be too much for me. I have to try.

    Thanks for your support
    Theresa x
    There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those. --Michael Nolan



    Theresa xxx
  • dorcasdorcas Posts: 3,538
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Theresa,

    if you can manage a set amount of study time each day..or twice a day..then that's a great target to aim for. :wink:

    please let us know how you are managing. Even if we can't help out with the coursework, at least we can be around to support you. :D

    Iris xxxx
  • frogmortonfrogmorton Posts: 26,210 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Theresa

    I think 1/2 hour twice a day is good. You are doing well even if it doesn't feel like it.

    I hope that you feel a bit better soon and you may THEN be able to increase it.

    LOve

    Toni xx
    Love

    Toni xxx
  • sharmainesharmaine Posts: 1,638
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Theresa

    Sorry to hear that you're not feeling very well and on top of everything there are workman making a racket. Could you escape to the Library? Or maybe go to a friend's house or a member of your family? Sounds as if you need a good rest. Buy some earplus or put your headphones on with some gentle music. You'll feel so much better once you've had a rest.

    Sometimes you can't see a solution when you're feeling horrid. Can you voice your concerns to a trusted member of staff? There is always a solution to a problem. I'll keep my fingers crossed that you get that degree.

    If you're still feeling unwell go and see your GP. I hope you feel better soon.

    Sending you lots of hugs.

    Sharmaine
    X
  • theresa4theresa4 Posts: 696
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thankyou everyone for your suggestions

    The reading is not going so good as I cant remember what I read on the last page my memory is awful IO wonder if its the drugs?
    I used to have an amazing memory but my short term memory has been severly affected maybe its fatigue as well even siumple jobs i forget what Im doing half way through and if I get distracted (someone asking me something or the phone ringing) I forget what im doing. So much for multi tasking im only 39 so it cant be my age.

    I am having a bad day today but its MTX inj day so no suprise it makes me feel worse than ever for the day. The drilling andf banging is banned on MTX day so a little peace.

    I feel so lonely at the minute and feel like this disease is taking my soul. my husband is so tired and stressed and hes angry with arthur too but I cant help taking that personally.We dont have any kind of relationship anymore apart from living in the same house. and Im not sure this is living. I just want to sit and cry today. and cry and cfry and cry.
    I really need to pull myself together but how

    thnaks for listening
    Theresa xx
    There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those. --Michael Nolan



    Theresa xxx
  • dreamdaisydreamdaisy Posts: 31,567 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Give yourself time, and be kinder to yourself. Arthritis is a huge strain on every member of the family, it affects each and every one. Arthritis has taken the person you were, and the person your family knew: it has changed you, you probably don't recognise yourself at the moment and neither will the family. One thing it has not changed, however, is the 'essential' you: that is still there but well-hidden whilst the rest of you adjusts. It takes time, and sometimes when you think you have it sorted it all sort-of falls wrong again and you feel as tho you are back to square one. You are not, it just feels like it. You are under a great deal of stress at the moment, with feeling so rough and the continual infections. Try not to put yourself under any further pressure, because that just feeds the arthritis and the bugs. Be kind to yourself, bung all the troubles into a big balloon, tie the knot firmly, then let it float away. Easier said than done, I know, but give it a whirl. Thinking of you. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • theresa4theresa4 Posts: 696
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    dreamdaisy wrote:
    Give yourself time, and be kinder to yourself. Arthritis is a huge strain on every member of the family, it affects each and every one. Arthritis has taken the person you were, and the person your family knew: it has changed you, you probably don't recognise yourself at the moment and neither will the family. One thing it has not changed, however, is the 'essential' you: that is still there but well-hidden whilst the rest of you adjusts. It takes time, and sometimes when you think you have it sorted it all sort-of falls wrong again and you feel as tho you are back to square one. You are not, it just feels like it. You are under a great deal of stress at the moment, with feeling so rough and the continual infections. Try not to put yourself under any further pressure, because that just feeds the arthritis and the bugs. Be kind to yourself, bung all the troubles into a big balloon, tie the knot firmly, then let it float away. Easier said than done, I know, but give it a whirl. Thinking of you. DD
    Thankyou DD I can see from your post you are not feeling too good yourself so it is very nice of you to take the time to advise on my problkems xx hope you feel better soon and your 'refill' comes quickly xx
    Theresa
    There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those. --Michael Nolan



    Theresa xxx
  • dreamdaisydreamdaisy Posts: 31,567 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Monday night. Blinking days away! Never mind, the time will pass, it always does. Meanwhile, my friend prednisalone has picked up the arthritis-thrown gauntlet and is dancing about, waving two fingers in the air at it - oh no, hang on, that's me! Take care. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • dreamdaisydreamdaisy Posts: 31,567 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well. it's two days later, how are things now? Are you feeling any brighter in yourself? I sincerely hope so, you need some better times to come along! DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • carolacarola Posts: 840
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Theresa

    I am so sorry to read about how you are feeling at the moment.

    I am convinced that Arthur, Lupus etc is made worse by stress therefore the best medicine we have is our mindset. We cannot control what happens to us healthwise however we CAN control how we react to our illnesses somewhat.

    Easier said than done though, I know.

    What I am trying to say is that when your mindset is on the low level like now, try not to put even more stress on yourself. Relationship wise, remember communication is so important. I regularly speak with my boyfriend about how I am feeling and how HE is feeling. In the beginning of this nightmare journey I didn't think we would make it however through time I now believe differently.

    When we are in constant pain, lack of sleep, adjusting to how different our lives are just now etc it is difficult, very difficult think positively so just remember to keep posting on here where we can all think positively for each other as every little helps.
    Carol x
  • frogmortonfrogmorton Posts: 26,210 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Theresa

    I am hoping you are feeling even a wee bit better today?

    I am so sad that you feel so alone. That is what we all do - if we can help each other feel less isolated :(

    I hope the wormen have gone and you may be sleeping a bit better?

    LOve and hugs

    Toni xx :(
    Love

    Toni xxx
  • theresa4theresa4 Posts: 696
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    HI

    THankyou for your posts. I know that bveing positive does help and do try to stay positive but when the sh*t hits the fan its never a small amount that I can deal with. My joints have been really bad the last few days and Ive had to resort to dihidrocodeine which makes me very dopey (ands thats after Ive woken up from a drug induced coma) I have just taken another today so it may be my last post today :lol: I stayed in bed this morning and got up at 1pm :shock: so I have had some natural sleep although in and out due to pain, I just thought its a horiible wet day I dont feel well anyway (the cough and throat digging in again and the MTX has blistered all my mouth as usual) the workmen are back downstairs and I would either be trying to sleep on sofa or stay in bed so I did the latter :o My hubby came up at 12 and was shocked I was still in bed but after the initial 'i was wondering where you were' he got his things and went back on his way. He then bought me lunch at 1pm (that was why I got up ) as he was worried I hadnt eaten or drank anything.
    Im seeing the rheumy nurse on Tuesday next week so lets see what that brings. As for my study plan it hasnt taken off yet due to my friend dihidrocodeine but usually a few days of that kills the pain or at least my nerve endings!! :lol: and I should be able to get some reading doen 4 weeks to having read and completed the assignment so must get itrt done soon.
    ANyway my my friend ly painkiller is starting to kick in and im struggling to see anything and dreadfto think what myb spelling is like nowe as i am touch typing as much as my foggy brain will allow.
    speak soon
    good niught
    Theresa x
    There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those. --Michael Nolan



    Theresa xxx
  • skezierskezier Posts: 12,150
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Theresa,

    Flower staying positive is so hard sometimes and you have all the background noise f the builders as well as feeling like shift. You hang in there and just try and remember it will ease off and you will be better again.

    When you see the nurse can you tell her exactly how you feel both in unwell and in worries etc? I don't know how it works as I don't have a rumo nurse but I think they are better at helping and getting you seen by the rumo again?

    I don't have the answer for you but sending you a whole chunk of support and a ((( ))) Cris x
  • frogmortonfrogmorton Posts: 26,210 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Oh Theresa
    You pooor thing. You sound shattered! and poorly :(

    you are right rest - takes your meds and rest for now - hen things ease a bit you can look at a bit of study.

    Still thinking of you

    love and hugs

    Toni xx
    Love

    Toni xxx
  • ironicironic Posts: 2,386
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Not of much use to you but sending hugs. Good luck with your course work.
    I do hope that things pick up for you soon.
    Be kind to yourself,


    Lv, Ix
  • dreamdaisydreamdaisy Posts: 31,567 ✭✭✭
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Morning theresa, how are things today? You have the rheumatology nurse tomorrow, yes? Have you put together a list of the problems you have been having? She will need all the background you can provide. Will you need to take a sample too - sometimes the nurses want one at my place, sometimes not! I hope you are feeling better. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • theresa4theresa4 Posts: 696
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    HI DD

    Had a really bad night as joints in hands and knees were on fire and pulsating like someone was sat witha mini hammer on each one.
    Did manage to get some sleep this afternoon but that was after doind a bit of shopping and nearly crashing the car :oops: :shock: My poor sister in law nearly wet herself. My mind just wandered for a second. I suppose its being doing alot of that recently.

    Yes my appointment with rheumy nurse is tomorrow so will see what comes of that. My sis in law has offered to come with me (I think cos she wants to tell them its not good enough!!) I will probably need her to walk me there (she doesnt drive and I think I shouldnt!! :oops: )
    Feel like a constant stream of gunk is in the back of my throat (sorry for the vivd gross description) and my tongue seems swollen as it doesnt fit between my teeth and has a lovely serrated edge (I think its been like that a few months but gettting worse especially on a night)

    Anyway not much else has changed will update after seeing the nurse

    Theresa xx
    There are many things in life that will catch your eye, but only a few will catch your heart...pursue those. --Michael Nolan



    Theresa xxx
  • ironicironic Posts: 2,386
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi,

    Good luck for tomorrows appointment. Might be a good idea taking someone with you. Keep your list handy as things can slip your mind when you get there. Mention about your tongue as I think I read somewhere that it can mean you are short of something in your diet. Or I could be dreaming that :roll:

    Lv, Ix
  • jean123jean123 Posts: 642
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi Theresa,

    You could try contacting the Helplines here (the phone number is at the top of the page). They are really good. Lots of people on here have used them, and and reported they have had excellent advice.

    Jean and the forum team
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