Life Is Over

elainebadknee

This is not just a shock, i feel numb. Other times there was light at the end of the tunnel but now there is none, im consigned to live like this till im too old or if i snuff it. There's no battle to be won, i cant stress that enough.......
And I have said this to others on PM but this is in no way a case for the messages with me needing counselling coming - this is real life...........
I know people mean well but this is happening to me and i cant do a thing about it.

E

bertyboy

Please dont give in Elaine go back to you dr and ask where you go from here i know how hard it seems , i was told on several times that i was too young to have a tkr , but i kept on at the consultant and the dr , that i needed my mobility now not when i was too old to appeciate it [at this time i wish i hadent bothered as its not right yet ] if you need to lose weight he can help with that to he can refer you to a dietician who will support you , there is still hope , it has to be your choice on how you deal with it , we are all here for you xxx

barbara12

Elaine
We are not giving up on you because we are your friends, and friends dont do that.
Only you know exactly how you feel, we can only get a glimpse, but believe me I have followed your post since the first day you came on, so I do have an idea what all this meant to you.
I do not think this is the end of the line, you have to find the strength to keep pushing for what you want, other wise they win, and we cant have that.
If you do get another appointment, I will personally come with you...two heads and all that, I only live 10 miles away.
Love
Barbara xx

dreamdaisy

Oh barbara12, what a lovely thing to say and offer. What a friend you are. I wish you lived closer to me! DD

Bookseverywhere

Elaine,
Sometimes these professionals just don't understand what we go through. Losing weight isn't easy, particularly as some of the medications we are prescribed can lead to weight gain.

Do look after yourself.

Best wishes,
Kevin.

julie47

Hi elaine

I am still here and still thinking of you

Just sending best wishes

Juliepf x

barbara12

dreamdaisy wrote:

Oh barbara12, what a lovely thing to say and offer. What a friend you are. I wish you lived closer to me! DD

Sorry DD that was a bit misleading.....I live around 10 miles from Wrightington hospital...so I could meet her there..
Barbara xx

dreamdaisy

I knew that - I remember reading it elsewhere - I still think it's a really nice offer tho! DD

lupin15

Hi
I am so sorry things did not go well and sending loads of hugs XXXXXXXXXXX. I understanding how low this all makes you feel but i am sure with support from all your friends here they will help you to gain the strength to get back on your feet!!!!!That may not be literately... Sometimes it is hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel....i am sure if you squint and look really hard there is s really small flicker that you are heading towards. Chin up. x:)) x:)) x:)) x:)) x:)) x:)) x:))PS Hubby has the same problem with his weight...it is a viscous circle, without exercise it is really hard to loose weight.

tweedie

Hi Elaine,
No NO NO , your life is not over , you will not die x:evil BUT , you will start a new life --- where you will eat just the same as now , but less , and you can lose weight with little mobility , don't give in GET ANGRY x:evil , just show him that you are trying to get to right weight , then he may proceed with the op.
And NO I am not a skinny fitness freak x:)) but I am someone who realised that I was too fat for my health , that when I fall I was putting husband , my carer , in danger of hurting himself because I was too heavy , so , thats what I did , I ate less , I told my family what and why I was doing it , NO , its not easy BUT its your life AND its up to you to take control, I will not lie to you it takes time but come on , we do not NEED another choccy bix , I lost nearly 3 stones and yes I still get told that I should lose another but I know I will in the end , your appietite will decrease too as you do this too.
I am not kicking you when you are down , I am trying to give you back your fight , DO NOT LET ARFUR win , BEAT THE BA****RD , and get your new joints,
Remember this too, there are no tablets that make you fat , if there were there would be no starving people.
All my love and support
Joanna
(Tweedie)
xxxxxxx
ps , for all the people who think , what do I know , I have osteo and Rhumatoid arthritis along with a few other problems caused by having RA for a long time

woodbon

Hello, So sorry the doctor was so unsympathetic and upset you so much. Its hard to lose weight at the best of times, but this is the wrong time of year! Did he offer any help anything really constructive? All these things are so easy for the docs to say,but if they had to sit all day they would know what its like. I don't really know what to say, except try not to let it upset you. I know how silly that is for me to say, but, well, don't let the B***** get you down! Lots of love Sue xxxx

skezier

Hi Elaine,

I am sorry you had such a bad tie there and hope your feeling a bit less upset today? Its hard to be basically written off but their not the only consultants.

Maye a different hospital (i that down to the choices thing perhaps?) would give you a better more understanding ortho?

I know at the mo you don;'t feel like fighting back and the stuffing ha been knocked out of you but that will change and you have a lot of support here a well.

I don't know how you feel but I do know ho hard it is to get your head round being written off and also that somewhere there is someone who will be willing to help you. Star with your gp flower and I so hope you get a bit of help. Cris x

dreamdaisy

Thinking of you - I hope you are still looking in. DD

tkachev

Hi Elaine,

Thinking of you too.

Elizabeth

julie47

Hi Elaine

Thinking of you
Juliepf x

sharmaine

Hi Elaine

Sorry you're feeling so down regarding your knee. They're really hot on being the right weight at the moment. It's really to cover themselves and to protect you.

I'll be glad when Christmas is out of the way then I'm going to join a Slimming Club to shift the pounds. It is hard to shift it when you have problems with your mobility especially those of us with knee problems. I try hard to stick to a low fat diet and avoid fatty/sugary treats. I have a sweet tooth and chocolate is my downfall - I refuse to buy it now. I have it once in awhile as a treat. There are lots of low fat recipes and I can indulge my sweet tooth by being careful. I get a lot of tips from "Cook yourself slim" and the food is tasty.

Don't despair your life isn't over. Make an appointment to see your GP - I'm sure he/she will give you lots of support and good advice.

I'm sure you'll conquer this problem and with your GP's support your knee will be fixed before you know it.

With kind regards
Sharmaine

elainebadknee wrote:

Hello

I went today sat in the consulting room while he read notes, asked when had last op, then shrugged his shoulders and said the following:

i have stage 4 arthritis in my knee but a half knee wouldnt help
a full knee at my age is risky
he asked what weight i eas, what height then told me i weighed too much.......I said about dieting that its never worked for me in past and he said even if my intake was less i still wouldnt lose weight as my mobility is so poor. He asked how long it would take to lose weight, i said that was like asking how long was a piece of string.....
He said things to me such as even if you eat one slice of bread you need to be eating half a slice.....

So im discharged and drove home in floods of tears......I cant see a way round this at moment.........Sol heard it all too and im sorry he did, i felt like i could hardly speak back to him..........

I cant type anymore........

Elainex

scorpio

sorry to hear that Elaine - some people are absolutely tactless

keepyour chin up and i hope all seems better soon

stralachlan

Hi Elaine, that's really crap, I know you were really hoping you'd have a way forward. Obviously I wasnt there so I dont know what was actually said, but based on what was discussed for my own knee op - one reason they are really reluctant to do a TKR on people our age is because they only last 10-15 years. So its not the first one that causes the problem, but the 2nd or 3rd as there is less bone to work with each time.

Did he say that he'd consider the op if you lost weight? Has he given you a target weight? If so definitely follow other peoples advice and see a dietician or something. My mum's overweight and they did her TKR but she's 65.

Otherwise I think I'd be inclined to write down all the ways in which this is impacting on your life, not just the stuff on those stupid questionnaires they give you, and request to see him again with all that, and try and convince him again that you really do need the op now, and not when youre 55+, and that you do understand the risks. Did he really explain the risks of having a TKR now?

I hope you get some resolution, sorry you're feeling so down.

tkachev

Hi Elaine

There is some really good advice on this thread and I hope you come back to read it.
Good luck
Elizabeth