Lying to myself

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gemmapetken
gemmapetken Member Posts: 263
edited 22. Jan 2011, 03:27 in Living with Arthritis archive
Sorry for the title
As some of you know I had a bad week last week due to GP, hip pain and hands! Well I think I have been lying to myself for a number of weeks! My knees have been swelling and going hot and after walking round the boat show they have been massively inflamed and sore! I'm beginning to think the Arthur has gone in to them aswell now! I only saw rheumy last Thursday but didn't really say anything as when I get in there you end up like a nodding dog! " oh yes I'm ok!"
Don't know what to do for the best but really think it's RA! I'm scared! And feel a little foolish for pretending that nothings wrong and for not saying anything when I had the chance!
Thanks
Gemma
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  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Don't be unkind to yourself, it is a blow when you realise that arthritis is on the move and finding new joints to play with, and denial is often the first emotion to kick in. I hope you can bring yourself to contact someone soon and have a chat about it: it could be that if meds are altered or dosage increased or somesuch, this new discomfort could be relieved. I wish you well. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • gemmapetken
    gemmapetken Member Posts: 263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    thanks
    dont really want to admit it!
    Gx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    None of us do, but life becomes simpler when one has. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,506
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Oh Gem :sad:

    when do you go back?

    You have to see him and cionfess the truth and your fears at the very least to your GP so you can get an appt asap.

    I get it though :???:

    LOve

    Toni xx
  • tillytop
    tillytop Member Posts: 3,460
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hello Gem

    I have just lost the reply I typed to you (GRRRR) so will try and remember what I wrote.

    I am so sorry that things are so difficult for you just now and I really do understand how difficult it is to face up to what is happening to you. Of course you are scared of the thought of having RA - there would be something wrong if you weren't!!!! But, hard though it is to accept, this aint going to go away on its own so you do need to get some help. I wonder if you could go back to your GP and tell him what you have told us? He could perhaps write a letter to the rheumatologist to tell him how things REALLY are which might help to move things forward more quickly.

    Thinking of you.

    Lots love Tilly xxx
  • gemmapetken
    gemmapetken Member Posts: 263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    thank you all for your replies!
    i have a good friend who has RA who i confided in yesterday!
    she has said the same! I think i will go to the GP (the nice one who diagnosed raynaulds!) and confess all to her! I hope this helps!
    Gxxx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    It is the best thing that you can do. If doctors don't know what is really going on with their patients they cannot help them: denial (tho natural) is self-defeating. Good luck, gemmapetken, let us know how you get on because we are interested and we do care. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • gemmapetken
    gemmapetken Member Posts: 263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    that make me cry! I know it MUST be done!! hee hee
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Oh I am sorry - I didn't mean to do that! :sad: Please accept my apologies. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • gemmapetken
    gemmapetken Member Posts: 263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    no it was the bit about you lot caring!!
    My oh doesnt understand and i dont want to talk to my parents (thay have OA and RA) as they have their own troubles and as a 29 year old I shouldnt have to talk to my rents about this!!!
    Gxxx
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Of course we care, we are all in very similar boats. It is unfair that you are facing this rubbish at only 29, mine didn't hit until I was 38, which is (slightly) a more reasonable age. It isn't easy to talk to OHs and parents, especially the latter in your case as they are both affected. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • gemmapetken
    gemmapetken Member Posts: 263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thank you all for the replies!
    I am going to ring the rheumy nurse tomorrow!
    It's nice to know I can talk to you all!
    Knees seem worse at the end of the day!
    Gx
  • tillytop
    tillytop Member Posts: 3,460
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Really good luck ringing the rheumy nurse!

    Will be thinking of you. Please do post if you can to let us know how it goes.

    Lots love Tilly xxx
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Gemma,
    I am a bit late in replying to your thread.. sorry...
    and everything i would have said has been said already lol..
    Just wanted to say that i wish you well and that you are being kinder to yourself if you are honest, however hard it may seem.. it can be daunting at times and scary too, your not alone in feeling the way you do..
    Hope all goes ok tom, let us all know how you get on..

    Take care
    Tracy..xxx
    th_tn_TisFORTIGGER.jpgxxTracyxx
  • ironic
    ironic Member Posts: 2,361
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Gemma,
    Well done for making a plan to get things sorted. It is a bitter blow to accept something is wrong especially when you are so young. I know this is hard for you but you will start to feel better with the correct treatment. Pain clouds everything so if you can do anything to relieve it will mean you can think more clearly and be more able to cope with things. I am sorry to hear your parents are suffering too. Even more strain for you to cope with. Scary as it is I hope you get your diagnosis sorted soon. Sometimes it helps to know. Hang on in there.

    Lv, Ix
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi Gemma,

    Flower its not surprising you find it scary but its sometimes necessary to get your head out the sand for a bit... I know cus I have my firmly jammed in the sand 90% of the time..... Its sort of become part of my cope mechanism.

    I so agree with ironic that pain does cloud everything and maybe once they have you diagnosed and 'sorted' you will feel so much better.

    I really hope it goes well for you with the doc and we do half decent pocket duties if needed. Hoe you have a decent night and tomorrow is kinder to you. Cris x
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Good luck for today, gemmapetken. Let us know how you get on please, if you can. I think ironic and skezier are both right: pain does cloud one's judgement and although the ostrich approach has its attractions, it doesn't actually help that much. You take care now. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • gemmapetken
    gemmapetken Member Posts: 263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    plucked up the courage to phone the rheumy nurse and gues what?... im waiting for her to get back to me!!
    LOL
    :lol:
  • maria09
    maria09 Member Posts: 1,905
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Hi
    Ive just read your thread
    I think we are all in denial about our condition coz we dont want it to beat us!
    At least on here we are all going through the same sort of thing
    so we understand each other
    How did it go with your rheumy nurse? Has she contacted ou yet?
    Keep strong
    Maria x
  • gemmapetken
    gemmapetken Member Posts: 263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Yeah! Got an appointment tomorrow and she said maybe steroid injections in both knees! On the up! Yeah!
  • dreamdaisy
    dreamdaisy Member Posts: 31,520
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Good, good and more good. Brave girl, well done. I sincerely hope they help (if they are administered): steroid jabs can be contrary little buggars, sometimes wonderful, sometimes not, so here's hoping you fall into the first category. Good luck with them and remember to rest very well for at least 48 hours (I was always told bed rest for that length of time, to give the stuff time to soak into the joint and really work its magic.) I wish you well. DD
    Have you got the despatches? No, I always walk like this. Eddie Braben
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    I'm glad you plucked up the courage and contacted the rheumy nurse(very brave)....
    And hopefully the steroid injection will help you.. and make you feel a bit better..
    Hope you feel some benefits soon luvie..

    Take care..

    Tracy..xx
    th_tn_TisFORTIGGER.jpgxxTracyxx
  • maria09
    maria09 Member Posts: 1,905
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thats good news
    Hope the injections work
    You will need to rest for 48hrs when i had both my feet injected work expected me to work the nxt day & Im a nurse who is on her feet all day Doh!
    So please rest it will do you good to chill for a while
    Maria x
  • frogmorton
    frogmorton Member Posts: 29,506
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Well done you Gemma!!!

    You so did the right thing :smile:

    Good luck and I am sure this will help you no end.

    Love

    Toni xx
  • gemmapetken
    gemmapetken Member Posts: 263
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
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    Thank you all! Will see what tomorrow brings!
    Also my magnetic bracelet came today so will see how that works out!
    Gx