young and struggling

rgentry1989
rgentry1989 Member Posts: 52
edited 15. Feb 2011, 16:19 in Living with Arthritis archive
hi, ive suffered since the age off 5 and i have finally snapped im being treated for depression as well im only 21 and feel i am just not being allowed to enjoy my life i feel like im at the hospital or gp in all my spare time, i try to fill it with things that are fun to cheer my self up but unfortante the pain usally gets in the way!! im struggling at work no one seems to get it and management are rubbish lol, i just feel every thing is against me and im normally such a bubbly person who doesnt let the disabitly stop me but ive finally given up any tips or hints and spec mayb a carreer that is friendly to are condtion
rachel
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Comments

  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi there

    I am sorry to read your thread and can quite understand where you are coming from. It is bad enough getting all this grief when you are older but you are young and that must be really tough. You are bound to feel down from time to time. My suggestion is for you to call the helpline tomorrow on 0808 800 4050, number at top of the screen and have a chat with them. Many people on this forum and others have been greatly helped by calling them. They are a brilliant team and truly dedicated to helping others. Remember a problem shared is a problem halved and it is good to talk.

    Look after yourself,

    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi,,,

    I am so sorry to hear that you have suffered since such a young age..
    You have done a great by having a job and trying to do fun things...That itself takes alot out of you.. Maybe you are doing too much?? If you push yourself too hard it can end up more damaging...
    Have you thought about taking a step back and having a rest, concentrate on you.. on gd days maybe have a friend round and watch a dvd with popcorn.. doing fun stuff but in a place where you are comfortable and can rest if need be..I was depressed when i was about your age..(am 31 now)A thing i used to do was write down how i was feeling everytime i was getting wound up or something was going round in my head.. it really helped me.. kind of putting the idea out of my head and on to the paper felt better...I used to always have a bit of fresh air everyday so i wasn't sat in the house all day.. even if it was in the garden.. fresh air always felt good for me.. It can be a slow process but hopefully with support from family and friends you will be back to your bubbly self.. I wish you well...xx
    Sending you big hugs (((((x)))))...
    Hope you feel better soon..
    th_tn_TisFORTIGGER.jpgxxTracyxx
  • tkachev
    tkachev Member Posts: 8,332
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I suffered a period of depression at 18, not through arthritis as that came later. But I do remember thinking everybody else was having fun, going places, socialising whereas i was in a dead end job, no boyfriend, too fat, etc. it was tough but take a small step at a time. You need to be concerned about your health as that effects the quality of your life. Look around for another job slowly, carefully. Try not to feel too stressed as that just over whelms you. Come and chat on the forum if you need people to talk to.
    I must admit I gave up my job and refused to get out of bed but luckily it was kept open for me and I returned to another department which was much more interesting and fun.
    I do hope you can take a small step and look at all the good things in your life rather than the bad. I know it is easy for me to say but depression can eat you up.

    Elizabeth
    Never be bullied into silence.
    Never allow yourself to be made a victim.
    Accept no ones definition of your life

    Define yourself........

    Harvey Fierstein
  • tjt6768
    tjt6768 Member Posts: 12,170
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi, just wanted to say that it is so understandable to get down with what most of us go through, I say most of us as some are fortunate to not have constant pain, I am in no way taking away the fact that they do suffer... If that makes sense :shock: :lol:
    I do get down myself, I just try to stay as positive as possible, and as daft and cheesey as it sounds this place helps a great deal, and if I can help others just by supporting them that also cheers me up...

    I hope that things start to go better for you soon.... Keep on posting now you've found us :grin::grin:
    e050.gifMe-Tony
    n035.gifRa-1996 -2013 RIP...
    k040.gif
    Cleo - 1996 to 2011. RIP
  • caterina57
    caterina57 Member Posts: 1,424
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi I am so sorry that you are feeling so rubbish at the moment, depresion is a terrible thing and we know that you can't just snap out of it. You have a lot to deal with and you need to take time to sort things out slowly and with the right kind of help and support. You have something in your favour though and that is that you are young.

    Tracy has made a good point writing things down helps to clear the mind and also gives you permission to write things that you may not necessarily say.

    Do you really not like your job? or is it the situation that you are in, or the people you are with. Take time out to think if you would like to study or train for something else.

    Help and support is available from a number of sources and we are always here to support and listen, there are good people on here who have many varied experiences and will give you the time and space to rant, laugh and cry, we are not doctors so can't tell you the medical bits but we can be here for you.

    Take care and keep posting
    Cath
  • rgentry1989
    rgentry1989 Member Posts: 52
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    And once again thanku I looked up this website just for this reason unfort in my mind I feel like only someone with the condition will understand stupid I nw! The depression has taken hold unfort due to a drug interaction! So I'm off them which is not helping!, I feel so sorry for my family and firends spec my family they have helped and surported this disabitly since I was five but I feel like I want to give them there life back my mum gets so worried bout me, I think anyone suffering with this will have up and downs, I reli do disslike my job while I'm young and at home I want to be in a job I love train for it I just can't think off one I cud do
    rachel
  • caterina57
    caterina57 Member Posts: 1,424
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Well you have made a great start -- just by looking at where your life is now and that you want to change it. Start slowly by thinking what the smallest problem you have is -- and then how you can change it - you might not be able to do it straight away or on your own (remember we can help as well) or we(or the helpline team) might know of places or people that can help, Once you have solved the first problem you will gain confidence to start on the next problem. it sometimes seems that life is not fair, and it does seem that you have had a tough time, it seems that you have got a family who will support you through this too. Just remember that life is for living, sometimes we just have to adapt things a little bit to makeit right for us.
    Cath
  • rgentry1989
    rgentry1989 Member Posts: 52
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Thanku I try to stay posstive I'm a natural bubbly postive person so be dwn is very unlike me and has a lot off people worried I also get very angry about everything which is never good, I think my first step has to be getting my meds right got a very nice new gp but find its all going slow trying medicine after medcine that isn't suitable with the methrotrexate or knocks u out so u dnt get up lol, recently been injected with sertroids in the hands and unfort it dosent seem have dne good more bad, I reli hope to start feeling mre myself as I've booked to goto paris in april and wud like to enjoy it and be able to get around for the three days I'm there
    rachel
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    What Cath has said is very true.. one step at a time.. you will get there.. and we will help you along teh way too..
    Don't feel a burden to your family and friends.. they do what they do because they care and want to...
    th_tn_TisFORTIGGER.jpgxxTracyxx
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi again

    That is a very sensible observation you have made. Family and friends can be and are very supportive but if they have not suffered with one of the many arthritis conditions that there are, they cannot fully understand and we cannot really expect them to do so. Here you will find people who do know and understand where you are coming from and you can call in here as often as you wish and ask questions and say how you really are feeling.You will always be made welcome. We do try to support and help each other on here as much as possible. You have no need to feel alone with all this now that you have joined us. Admittedly quite a few of us are older than you, but sometimes that can help too. Do keep in touch.

    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • Airwave!
    Airwave! Member Posts: 2,471
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Their are times in our lives when we all need support, this may assist you, call the helpline asap.

    8) Its a grin, honest!
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I reli hope to start feeling mre myself as I've booked to goto paris in april and wud like to enjoy it and be able to get around for the three days I'm there

    There you go, that is something great to look forward to, a few days in Paris. You have a goal now. Keep chatting to us, you will be ok.

    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • rgentry1989
    rgentry1989 Member Posts: 52
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Its how I felt for a while which is why I joined and its helped tones as surportive as people can be unless the feel the way u do they can never fully understand, I dnt think age matter the condtion is the same the surport me need is the same, and I'm getting that mre than I cud amange thank u all,

    And yess paris I try to do thing to cheer my self up whether that's a trip to the theature, show or holiday gives u somthing to look forward to. Thing I also find hard is when I do go out I feel isolated cause I cnt drink it almost stands u out further like the limp and needing to sit constantly wasn't enough lol and the methrotreaxate isn't reli working dnt knw if anyone else has ever been on it
    rachel
  • traluvie
    traluvie Member Posts: 2,579
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I feel like that when my friends and family are drinking.. i kind of feel like a party pooper..
    They understand,, i just have a wee bit of alcohol watered down with loads of lemonade or diet coke lol...
    th_tn_TisFORTIGGER.jpgxxTracyxx
  • rgentry1989
    rgentry1989 Member Posts: 52
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    U do dnt u ha all thou saves me money on taxis cause ill drive, went out sat and hve to say I lasted till half 10 my knee was soo sore so I went home iced it and put the telly on ha mates didn't seem to mind proper party pooper thou ha
    rachel
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Yep, you are right again, it does make such a difference to have something to look forward to. After my first total knee replacement I knew that I wanted to be"on the mend" to attend a wedding, after another op I said to myself I had to be well enough to celebrate one of big '0' birthdays! It certainly does help one to focus. I do not have RA but OA but there are many peeps on here who are taking metho. If that is not suiting you perhaps you can speak with your rheumi or rheumi nurse?
    Some peeps do look at you a bit strangely if you are not partaking in alcoholic beverages - but that is their problem, not yours. There can be a variety of reasons why people choose not to, not only because of taking meds, but also because you do not like the taste, you may be driving, have decided not to, for a few weeks or months, or just do not feel like an alcoholic drink at that particular time. I expect your family and close friends know anyway. It is your choice after all. :smile:

    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    U do dnt u ha all thou saves me money on taxis cause ill drive, went out sat and hve to say I lasted till half 10 my knee was soo sore so I went home iced it and put the telly on ha mates didn't seem to mind proper party pooper thou ha

    It is good to hear that you went out last night. Ice on painful and swollen knees does help. I like wheatbags too that you heat up in the microwave. Better than a hotwater bottle as you can wrap them around your knee, neck, or whatever happens to be giving you jip at the time. :roll: :smile:

    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • rgentry1989
    rgentry1989 Member Posts: 52
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    I think It must off made me older than my years cause I look at the drunks and think reli? Lol glad I'm nt looking like u right knw ha, I feel lost if I dnt have somthing to look forward makes a huge differance, I saw my consulatant who is wonderful recently but we concentrated on my hands and injecting them nw my knees majorly playing up typ reli lol got another 6mths till I see him again and the gps dnt wana touch u when ur under a consultant! Omg sounds like uve been thou it as well sorry to hear it glad u allways had thing to look forward to thou I was in hosp last year bfore xmas and was in a and e the year before due to infection in a swallon knee made me pass out but being me I did it in a dangerous place banged my head and fitted lol I do like to do things proper lol but we always battle thou sure we come out stronger or so ppl tell me x
    rachel
  • rgentry1989
    rgentry1989 Member Posts: 52
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Yess heat can also be good my bed has a elctric blanket heaven for the back! We also hav a wheat bag gr8 things :) x
    rachel
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    You most certainly have a sense of humour. That is great :smile: Most important, to my way of thinking, it really does help. I agree, we do come out stronger and more sympathetic to others who are not doing too well, cos we know what it is like, don't we? So, you have spent time in hospital too. Wow, I bet that was awful having an infection in the knee. Could you perhaps get an earlier appointment if need be, six months is a long time to wait to see your consultant. Could you phone his secretary? You never know there could be a cancellation. :lol: I totally agree with you, when you are sober and see others drunk or the worse for wear, you do think to yourself how stupid they look and they keep repeating themselves which is just soooooo boring. :lol:

    :lol: I would not be without my electric blanket either. I told my mum to get one and eventually she did and wishes she had got one a long time ago! I am going to see my electric blanket now :lol:

    Night, night,

    Chin up, you will be ok,

    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • elnafinn
    elnafinn Member Posts: 7,412
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi again

    I hope that if you have been in work today that it was not too bad for you.

    Look after yourself,
    Elna x
    The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything.

    If you can lay down at night knowing in your heart that you made someone's day just a little bit better, you know you had a good day.
  • skezier
    skezier Member Posts: 11,333
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hi rgentry,

    Sorry its a bit rough for you just now. Sometimes it feels overwhelming and other days its not so bad.

    Hey concentrate on Paris cus distraction helps so much it really does.

    Hang in there cus it does get easier and you do still have a decent life ahead of you. Nice to meet you. Cris x
  • rgentry1989
    rgentry1989 Member Posts: 52
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    yess i do lol i love to laugh just isnt allways easy, i will have to say the injection hurts alot lol and unfort has dne worse rather than good but its the risk u take,

    ohh drunk ppl either make me laugh or bore me lol, :)

    i will try i think his a busy man but things allways seem to get worse once uve seen them why is that my jonits behave everytime i go see him soo anoying ha,

    yess been in hosp few time in the last year or so cnt say it was nice and i did scare ppl but wat can i say im looking for a hot ambulance driver or doctor just the price im paying ha

    work was ok but with a swallon knee and the other knee is nw up due to limping which is typ ha and suffering with hands i had to dose up on painkillers but i got thou and have a day off tomoz, thanks for asking hipe ur elec blanket treated you nicely :D,,

    hello cris yess things to look forward to deff help loads and i cant wait to go just hope the jonits behave while im there they can miss behave when i get back ha i will be talking to my gp tomoz about my happy pills as the ones she gave me last week knock me out so fingers crossed they will find some that work and dnt interact with the methrotraxate and anger my mirgaines lol x
    rachel
  • rgentry1989
    rgentry1989 Member Posts: 52
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    hey anyone also knw off any places i can goto for help trying to get dla? im having no luck with it and im reli struggling money wise since dropping hours at work cause i just cant cope full time any mre?
    rachel
  • tillytop
    tillytop Member Posts: 3,460
    edited 30. Nov -1, 00:00
    Hello and welcome from me too!

    I am so sorry you are having such a tough time of it at the moment - but, despite everything, you still seem to be keeping your sense of humour which can only be a good thing. I think you have been given some good advice in terms of taking one step at a time and doing as you said and getting the meds sorted first sound like a good plan.

    Please do continue to share on here if it helps. Although we are all of different ages and at different stages/have different types of arthritis, we are here to listen and to support you as best we can.

    Thinking of you.

    Love Tilly xxx